hhmmm... I see. well, the only way I think you can do this is as follows:
sync the phones with iTunes as normal, allow contacts, calendar, bookmarks to be synced via MobileMe. But do NOT sync your email accounts. Turn that option off. Then you have to go set this up on your individual iPhones. You go into SETTINGS, then MAIL/CALENDAR/CONTACTS, then ADD ACCOUNT. On your phone, you will set up your own MM account and your wife's phone you set up her verizon account. That way you share the contacts and calendars, but each have your own emails. But make sure, the email syncing in Itunes is switched off.
I hope this helps.