ad critique

[bluetooth]

this is an ad I did for an invite to the launch of a new website for Mount Logan through the Virtual Museum of Canada website. Basically just an ad inviting people to come to the launch etc.

It's just a B&W for newspaper, 6x4". Haven't done many smaller ads like this so let me know your thoughts and if the message is clear?

*Don't mind the watermark on the mouse photo it is just a comp for now.

thanks

 

[AlexisV]

I think the top section needs a little work. The mountain is a great photo and I think it should be the main focus point. At the moment there's no hierachy of information - the title and three images all have similar weighting.

A big photo of the mountain to grab your attention be attractive.

 

[irishgrizzly]

2nd that point - where's the hierachy of information? The reader has to work harder to get the meaning of it without it.


Are you printing in B&W? If so I think you need to put some more punch into the design, it's all a little flat at the moment. I wouldn't have the logos so big.

On the plus side it's a clean design and is unfussy enough to look professional.

 

[LeviG]

Not sure if its the file or your work but some of the lines in the top section don't look straight, they hav a slight fade on some of the edges meaning an angle.

The top looks a bit boring and why have 2 images the same and the third a different one, might want to consider a different arrangement or 3rd image.

I also dislike the way Welcome! sticks out from the rest of the text, it looks untidy.

 

[decksnap]

I would skip the cheesy stock mouse shot. Second on the hierarchy. Also, the dotted line/random shape on the left seems very arbitrary. It kind of competes with the big fat borders on the photos. I would either find a way to merge those two design elements or remove one.

EDIT- whoa just noticed the sweet safari image zoom feature. Is that new in Safari 3?

 

[TimTheEnchanter]

Headline needs to be bigger, and sans serif.... maybe Futura Bold Condense or like.

 

[bluetooth]

thanks for the feedback - all good points. I will make some revisions and post again in a day or two to see what you think.

thanks

 

[bluetooth]

Ok, did some tweaking ad revising based on some of the feedback. Actually ended up with 3 slightly different variations.

Please let me know what you think...Design 1, 2 and 3. ps. The image is not as sharp 2 of the designs due to the size since I enlarged it, but I am going to go back and sharpen a little in PS if I go with that one.

Thanks.

EDIT - removed work, thanks for the feedback.

 

[klymr]

It's actually kinda annoying me to read the "Invitation to..." line in your ad. It just seems a little weird to me personally. I think the "everyone is welcome" at the bottom says it well enough. That's just my take on this though. Otherwise, I really like what you've done in the third one of this new set.

EDIT: I was just looking at it again, and I think if it just said something like, The launch of Mount Logan: Canadian Titan, where the first part is smaller like you have it in the third one. That's my thoughts on it. Keep up the good work!

 

[termina3]

Why don't you rephrase it

"Please join Elaine Taylor, blah blah, for the opening of"
(b/c "Elaine Taylor, sldk, will welcome guests" is stiff and awkward)

and then go to the big heading.

Also, the dotted white line needs to go. Another issue I see is the random black protrusions down. The one in between the two photos (I'm looking at#3) seems to be a mistake from the white borders of the photos, but then there's that other one hanging off toward the middle. They look like mistakes, not design elements.

All in all, great design. Can't say whether I like the logos spaced out or tucked away in the corner though.