I can't seem to decide I'm a beginner in photography, I will be shooting with a nikon d40 I don't know if that helps but which program would you guys recommend?
Why don't you want to use iPhoto? Ok good reasons to want the others but your answer about
why you don't like iPhoto will tell us about which of the other two is best for you. For example if you don't like the way iPhoto organizes images into a library you won't like Aperture because it does the same thing.
I'd say stick with iPhoto until you can list out several good reasons to switch.
You can donload and try out both LR and Aperture and use them for 30 days for free. But be warned it really will take 30 days, working every night, to do a fair evaluation. Both are large complex programs.