Do this for me. Turn the volume to where you normally like it. Now take out the earbud and hold it 2 feet away from your head while it's playing something. If you can tell what song is playing, then you're one of those people who insist on having the volume up way too loud, louder than the speakers can handle, louder than is safe for your eardrums, and that's killing them.
If I've missed the mark, then I can't help you. I use my standard apple earbuds as I have for many years at normal volume levels (where the music still sounds good), and I've never had any problems with the 3 or 4 pairs I've had except when I lost, washed, or broke them.