Caught my 13 year old brother looking at porn...

[devilot]

Jeez, some of you people are really in the dark about this stuff.

Since you posted a couple of times giving out potentially UNSAFE information, I'll have to somehow make my post be seen. From Planned Parenthood, it clearly states:

Use water-based lubricants, such as K-Y jelly or AstroGlide, or silicone-based lubricants, such as Eros, with latex condoms. Oil-based lubricants like petroleum jelly, cold cream, butter, or mineral and vegetable oils damage latex.

Very informative page to read, please do so.

 

[MACDRIVE]

Holy smokes. . . we're going from a discussion about artificial sex to a lesson in chemistry.

 

[jsw]

Back in the day of over flowing hormones, I never ran into any problems with the oil attacking the latex; but then again, I would only use it once and then throw it away. Preferably in a place where mom didn't find it.

I don't think devilot was particularly concerned that the glove would deteriorate before you were able to climax. As she clearly said, her point was that this is an unsafe option with actual sex (with another person) and so isn't a good idea to encourage. If you can get "pharmaceutical grade mineral oil" you can get proper lube - in the same store.

 

[MACDRIVE]

I don't think devilot was particularly concerned that the glove would deteriorate before you were able to climax.

Nope, never happened. Now if I was to pour some brake fluid on there yeah, it would cause the glove to swell up and get out of shape.

 

[devilot]

Nope, never happened.

Yet. Or that you have seen with your naked eye.

I have seen, in front of me, demos. Condom on a banana + baby oil = ripped within 30 seconds. Maybe you're quicker than that, either way, even if you are, just because a condom isn't torn to shreds, doesn't mean that the latex hasn't degraded and left a higher chance of pregnancy.

 

[jsw]

Yet. Or that you have seen with your naked eye.

I have seen, in front of me, demos. Condom on a banana + baby oil = ripped within 30 seconds. Maybe you're quicker than that, either way, even if you are, just because a condom isn't torn to shreds, doesn't mean that the latex hasn't degraded and left a higher chance of pregnancy.

He's talking about using gloves, not condoms, and latex gloves are thicker and less prone to deterioration over the the short times they'd be used.

For real life sex, though, clearly mineral oil is a dumb choice of a lubricant. Unless you like kids and STIs.

 

[MACDRIVE]

I have seen, in front of me, demos. Condom on a banana + baby oil = ripped within 30 seconds.

You keep talking about condoms. I'm talking about a latex glove that only has to be on the bloke's hand long enough for him to grab his vane popping meat rod and reach climax.

I do appreciate the lesson in various lubricants though; I never knew there was such a thing as water based lubricants.

 

[devilot]

You keep talking about condoms. I'm talking about a latex glove...

Because I'm worried someone else will assume that if it works for one, it will work for the other.

 

[bartelby]

Use water-based lubricants, such as K-Y jelly or AstroGlide, or silicone-based lubricants, such as Eros, with latex condoms. Oil-based lubricants like petroleum jelly, cold cream, butter, or mineral and vegetable oils damage latex.

Last Tango In Paris reference?

 

[Lau]

I don't see the necessity of this "chat" I keep hearing about; the porn pretty much explains everything better that any chat could do...

Apart from the fact that:

Women generally don't get turned on by flapping a hand at light speed around their general crotch area. And wiggling a rigid tongue from 3 inches away doesn't do much either.
Women may well not shriek, moan, etc. for the entire session at every single touch.
Two minutes of said flapping in crotch area and then furious pumping is unlikely to produce any shrieking and moaning.
He's not going to last for half an hour the first time he does it, possibly not ever, so and there's no need to feel bad, particularly if he's done more to her beforehand than two minutes of crotch flapping/tongue wiggling.
Deciding on the spur of the moment to, er, go in the other way is unlikely to go down well, and no, she won't start to like it once you've rammed it in.

And much, much, more, which I can't think of a family friendly way to describe.

I'm being flippant, but if you think you can learn much more from porn than what technically goes where you're really, really wrong. There's nothing wrong with a 13 year old getting off on porn, but having someone he can talk to to say "It really doesn't happen like that" to say what it's really like is about as useful as it gets. The book's a good idea for some of the more technical info as well, definitely.

 

[jsw]

And wiggling a rigid tongue from 3 inches away doesn't do much either.

Having a tongue you can rigidly wiggle from 3 inches away, though... that's pretty impressive. If he can do that, he might have a career ahead of him in the porn industry.

 

[Blue Velvet]

Having a tongue you can rigidly wiggle from 3 inches away, though... that's pretty impressive. If he can do that, he might have a career ahead of him in the porn industry.

Or impersonating Gene Simmons...

 

[Lau]

Having a tongue you can rigidly wiggle from 3 inches away, though... that's pretty impressive. If he can do that, he might have a career ahead of him in the porn industry.

What, you mean yours can't?

 

[jsw]

What, you mean yours can't?

No. It's too big to wiggle easily.

 

[Lau]

No. It's too big to wiggle easily.

Oh, you poor thing.

 

[twistedlegato]

So you can't ever have sex... or is it just because of your age, which I understand.
If your religion forbids sex at any age I would seriously think about revising your status on religion in a few years, because of your age I don't think you are ready to make the choice of never having sex in your life.

WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I never said i would never have sex.

I just said i would wait until i am married!

Im not that crazy you know

 

[someguy]

And why, exactly, is looking at porn "naughty behavior"? At 13, he's obviously hit puberty. This "sex is bad" attitude surprises me; your belief that a "good, long smacking" is better than looking at pictures of naked women is disturbing.

I agree. I am interested, spicyapple, to hear what you have against boys in their early teenage years viewing the nude female figure and learning about sex. Why is something so natural and healthy such a problem for you?

I could understand not wanting a 13 year old to see some hardcore illegal stuff with like animals and sh*t, or even anything beyond your basic love-making scene between a man and a woman without first being given a proper explanation and understanding of what he is seeing. This is why the majority of the posts in this thread advise the OP to talk with his brother and give him "the talk" more-or-less and and answer any questions.



@Grakkle

Still wondering what type of problems your "involved" friends ran into as a result of pornography, and also in what way they were involved with it.

 

[MACDRIVE]

I never had the luxury of having a family member explain to me the inner workings of sex. I had my first exposure in junior high school in the form of a sex education class. All they did was play an educational video with two actors having sex in which amounted to nothing less than a porn flick.

I turned completely flush with pale peeked skin before I took 3 steps out of the class room and lost total consciousness. After they revived me, I got to go home early for the day.

 

[someguy]

I never had the luxury of having a family member explain to me the inner workings of sex. I had my first exposure in junior high school in the form of a sex education class. All they did was play an educational video with two actors having sex in which amounted to nothing less than a porn flick.

Consider yourself lucky. They showed us "the miracle of birth". Enough said.

 

[compuwar]

How about creating a folder for him, allowing him and only him to access that protected folder, so that he can put all of his porn in that folder. He is going to look anyway. That is normal. As a father figure, this will help build trust between you two.

"Contributing to the delinquency of a minor."

Yes, it sucks, no, it doesn't change things.

 

[dextertangocci]

I wonder how long before this thread gets out of hand, and closed...

 

[vniow]

I would suggest that you make a book readily available for him to look at privately, which would contain the answers to any questions he may have-

That is a brilliant idea. The only thing I would add to it is that there be a discussion about any questions he has in the book as they come up. You can't expect him to understand everything a college level textbook says and he's certainly going to have questions about it.

 

[Leareth]

Apart from the fact that:

Women generally don't get turned on by flapping a hand at light speed around their general crotch area. And wiggling a rigid tongue from 3 inches away doesn't do much either.
Women may well not shriek, moan, etc. for the entire session at every single touch.
Two minutes of said flapping in crotch area and then furious pumping is unlikely to produce any shrieking and moaning.
He's not going to last for half an hour the first time he does it, possibly not ever, so and there's no need to feel bad, particularly if he's done more to her beforehand than two minutes of crotch flapping/tongue wiggling.
Deciding on the spur of the moment to, er, go in the other way is unlikely to go down well, and no, she won't start to like it once you've rammed it in.

And much, much, more, which I can't think of a family friendly way to describe.

I'm being flippant, but if you think you can learn much more from porn than what technically goes where you're really, really wrong. There's nothing wrong with a 13 year old getting off on porn, but having someone he can talk to to say "It really doesn't happen like that" to say what it's really like is about as useful as it gets. The book's a good idea for some of the more technical info as well, definitely.

Thank you for summing up what could go wrong. Made me laugh but at the same time think... there are young people who do the above because they think that is how to do it. No one ever explained to them that is not how it works.

When I used to work with youth , one of the biggest problems was getting across that you can get STi's through oral sex. also that ass to mouth was not a good thing. And icyhot/bengay are not good sex cremes...

 

[mlochm]

That is a brilliant idea. The only thing I would add to it is that there be a discussion about any questions he has in the book as they come up. You can't expect him to understand everything a college level textbook says and he's certainly going to have questions about it.

I think the role issue is what prevents me from totally agreeing with you. My parents never gave me a 'talk' and really never brought the subject up, i think as it is a privacy issue more than anything... I did a quick google search and came up with TONS of good informative results- here are a few...

http://www.sexetc.org/
http://www.scarleteen.com/
http://www.positive.org/Home/index.html
http://www.coolnurse.com/
http://www.thehormonefactory.com/index.cfm?flashOK=1
http://dmoz.org/Kids_and_Teens/Teen_Life/Sexuality/

The internet is a great resource, and could probably provide answers to most of the questions he may have- in fact I would not be surprised if he already had answers to most of his questions... Perhaps you should confront him on a cool brotherly level regarding porn on the computer- tell him its not cool to leave it on there, but no one is stopping him from looking at it though, as long as there isn't any stored on the hard drive- put a book where he can find it- and maybe write on the inside cover some good URL'S?
It's important that we remember to respect all people, no matter what there age- part of doing that is allowing them to make there own decisions- all we can really do is share our perspective.

 

[maceleven]

talk 2 him , let him know that porn destroys people and minds ,whip his but , and then pass code and then be an example, then take him to a christian church to hear the word of GOD