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Critique my letterhead, business card, and envelope!

Sutekidane

Sutekidane

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 26, 2005
936
2
Hey, I just finished my letterhead, envelope, and business card, and I want to know what you guys think. It's for my layout and design class. I choose CedarPoint as my company. I wanted a positive mood while not making it overly complicated. Positive criticism appreciated :)

Letterhead:


Business Card:


Envelope:
 
I agree about the watermark. The letter head and envelope certainly make a statement. It's fun and relaxed. The business card fits the industry well. I think the type needs to be bolder, but otherwise, I really actually love it. If I were handed a card like that I would not forget it. That should be the point. In a world where even 10 year olds seem to have business cards for their web design companies that aren't actually companies...you need a card like that. Take a chance and see what happens.
 
True about the watermark -- it should be lighter.

Also, the dark blue cloud-like areas of the card seem to be dark enough to slightly obscure the black type. I would make them the same as the dark blue areas on the envelope.

All this is subject to your monitor/my monitor differences. The layout looks really good, so if those things look good in print, then disregard. Nice! :)
 
As far as the business card goes...I'm not really feeling the font, but I can't figure out what should be done with it.

Hell of a lot of help that gives, but maybe some experimentation could be in order...
 
idea_hamster said:
True about the watermark -- it should be lighter.

Also, the dark blue cloud-like areas of the card seem to be dark enough to slightly obscure the black type. I would make them the same as the dark blue areas on the envelope.

All this is subject to your monitor/my monitor differences. The layout looks really good, so if those things look good in print, then disregard. Nice! :)
Click to expand...


Okay, I agree with the watermark and the clouds, they should all be consistant with each other. I'll lower the opacity of the darker ones on the business cards, but probably to be slightly above the settings of them on the envelope.

My friend says the business card needs a ferris wheel or something, because right now, you can't really tell what cedar point is by looking at it. He said it reminds him of a golf course.

As far as the font is concerned, I think it fits it decently. Could there be a better font out ther for this? definitely. I will experiment a little more with it, but I doubt I'll have something better on my computer.

Thanks for all the tips guys, and no, I don't work for cedar point, as I live in Florida. ^_^
 
Do you really need:

Chairman, President and C.E.O all on the business card?

It reminds me of the time I directed, starred in, produced and wrote a play.

I looked at the programme and my name appeared no less than 15 times!

It made me feel very awkward and big headed.

One title is surely enough.

Apart from that personal worry, I love the design!
 
I really like the line roller coster on the letterhead.
Maybe put this at the bottom of the other two?
Just to unify the designs and show what CedarPoint is?

::20ROGERSC::
 
JoeKarame said:
Do you really need:

Chairman, President and C.E.O all on the business card?

It reminds me of the time I directed, starred in, produced and wrote a play.

I looked at the programme and my name appeared no less than 15 times!

It made me feel very awkward and big headed.

One title is surely enough.

Apart from that personal worry, I love the design!
Click to expand...

It's more of a sample, and that's pretty much what he does, so the content of the text isn't too important. Thanks for noticing though!

I could integrate the rollercoaster a bit into the business card, but I want to keep the envelope very simply, hence the reason all the colors are lighter than ther other 2 pieces.
 
I ummm... don't like. Sorry.

Who is the audience for the material? If it is children and families who patronize the business, that's one thing. But if it is suppliers, financiers, business partners, etc. then I think it's way too informal. What message is the material intended to give?

Already mentioned, the clouds, anything that interferes with the legibility of the type is difficult. Plus I don't "get" dk blue clouds in a lt. blue sky. The text on the business card is particularly suffering - competing with the background, not optimally placed.

"Not overly complicated" -- the rollercoasters I don't think achieve that goal. They are excessively busy, and I suspect are not "anatomically correct" rollercoasters. If you are going for abstract/representative, then make it simple, a few swooping lines. Why complex it up and have it 'wrong' compared to reality? How could you get the idea of roller coaster and ferris wheel over more simply? And if you are going 4 colour on this, is photography an option?

Question: What is the focus of the pieces? What are they saying? Cedarpoint is .....[fill in the blank]

Does everybody receiving this know who Cedarpoint is and what they do? I don't, not being from the area. If I was an outside business negotiating a supply contract, or insurance, or something, I might be confused. With the flag and the green base and trees on the business card, I thought it was a golf course. (maybe it is, I dunno)

A classic way to define the company is to include a motto along with the wordmark

CedarPoint -- where families come to have fun
CedarPoint -- Rhode Island's largest amusement park
CedarPoint -- Rollercoaster heaven in West Virginia
CedarPoint -- Zero to exhilirating in 2.4 seconds
or whatever.

What is the legal name - Cedar Point, CedarPoint, Cedarpoint?
 
CanadaRAM said:
I ummm... don't like. Sorry.

Who is the audience for the material? If it is children and families who patronize the business, that's one thing. But if it is suppliers, financiers, business partners, etc. then I think it's way too informal. What message is the material intended to give?

Already mentioned, the clouds, anything that interferes with the legibility of the type is difficult. Plus I don't "get" dk blue clouds in a lt. blue sky. The text on the business card is particularly suffering - competing with the background, not optimally placed.

"Not overly complicated" -- the rollercoasters I don't think achieve that goal. They are excessively busy, and I suspect are not "anatomically correct" rollercoasters. If you are going for abstract/representative, then make it simple, a few swooping lines. Why complex it up and have it 'wrong' compared to reality? How could you get the idea of roller coaster and ferris wheel over more simply? And if you are going 4 colour on this, is photography an option?

Question: What is the focus of the pieces? What are they saying? Cedarpoint is .....[fill in the blank]

Does everybody receiving this know who Cedarpoint is and what they do? I don't, not being from the area. If I was an outside business negotiating a supply contract, or insurance, or something, I might be confused. With the flag and the green base and trees on the business card, I thought it was a golf course. (maybe it is, I dunno)

A classic way to define the company is to include a motto along with the wordmark

CedarPoint -- where families come to have fun
CedarPoint -- Rhode Island's largest amusement park
CedarPoint -- Rollercoaster heaven in West Virginia
CedarPoint -- Zero to exhilirating in 2.4 seconds
or whatever.

What is the legal name - Cedar Point, CedarPoint, Cedarpoint?
Click to expand...

Well, the use for this is pretty much within the park itself, not corporate use, hence the informality. CedarPoint is owned by CedarFair, so the stationary for them would be more formal, since they do all the 'business'

My goal was to represent and give people that CedarPoint is a positive place to be. What's more positve than a clear day, blue skies, and green grass.

I'd rather not incorporate photography as I find it makes things somewhat generic, and hard to reproduce in black and white, incase someone was to fax this etc.

On the business card, I lowered the opacity of the dark blue clouds considerably, and in print, the text is much more readible. I've also added a low opacity rollercoaster to the background of the business card. I wanted the business card to be busy so it would attract attention

I want people to look at this, not knowing what CedarPoint is at all, and understand just by seeing this.

I appreciate the criticism, I suppose I should have explained my purpose more clearly, but hey not everyone loves everything. ^_^
 
Sutekidane said:
I want people to look at this, not knowing what CedarPoint is at all, and understand just by seeing this.
Click to expand...
OK, thats a bit at odds with the intended use being inernal, but this is the crux of the matter, what do you want to communicate?

The letterhead says "Roller coaster"
The other two don't convey a clear meaning (maybe the added coaster on the bus. card will help.)
Blue sky, grass, trees, rolling hills; that could also describe Eternity Acres Burial
Park. (Actually Cedar Point Burial Park too -- the name is not a particular asset here, it has no intrinsic meaning)

Do you recognize that 'busy' design can just as easily be non-memorable?

Think of a "slideshow" type commercial zinging by at 2 frames per second. Busy. Attention-getting. Not attention keeping. AND, unless it stops and holds on a single frame of the product or its logo, these are generally worthless in communicating a specific idea.

The purpose of an advertisement is to

Interrupt
Engage
Educate

The Interrupt is something out of the ordinary that snaps focus to the ad. The classic example is a big red STOP sign. "Wow! That's startling!"

However, all that does is draw the eye. In order to keep attention, there has to be something to engage the viewer to keep that attention "Wow, that was startling! Now is there anything here that I need to know? Coz if there isn't I have other things to get to"

If you don't provide some kid of coherent message to engage the viewer, they are going to slide off and focus on something else in the first few seconds. It's like "Wait, I hear a phone (successful interrupt).... nope it's not my phone, nevermind (failure to engage)"

Once you have engaged the viewer, convinced them that there is something worth investigating here, then you can start to educate them. Your education task with the letterhead &tc is small, "this is what we do and here is the contact information"


Busy design can interrupt; get the original glance. But overly-busy design works against engaging the viewer if they then have to struggle, visually or conceptually, more than a couple of seconds to find the meaning in the piece.

(If you haven't guessed by now, I like Apple ads and hate magazines that do entire articles in grunge or distressed type)
 
I don't like the business card. The letterhead screams to me cedar point. It looks like something they would actually use. The business card though- it has nothing to do with an amusement park. Cedar point is about 2 hours away from where I live, so I'm well acquainted with it. Cedar point is known for their rollercoasters, so I think that should be the central point- the business card definitely needs a roller coaster on it. If I knew nothing about cedar point, having that roller coaster is extremely important- it tells the customer right away hey this is an amusement park.
 
celebrian23 said:
I don't like the business card. The letterhead screams to me cedar point. It looks like something they would actually use. The business card though- it has nothing to do with an amusement park. Cedar point is about 2 hours away from where I live, so I'm well acquainted with it. Cedar point is known for their rollercoasters, so I think that should be the central point- the business card definitely needs a roller coaster on it. If I knew nothing about cedar point, having that roller coaster is extremely important- it tells the customer right away hey this is an amusement park.
Click to expand...

Done! I put a coaster in the background of the business card.
 
Actually, I believe Sutekidane is right on target with this.

While I definitely agree that some type of amusement park element needs to be added to the business card (which he already has indicated he's going to do), this really does represent the park very well.

Yes, these are cards and stationary that would go out to vendors, colleagues, customers, etc. But they do NOT have to be boring and dry. In fact, as someone who receives about two dozen business cards from CEOs, corporate leaders and executives every week, I've seen all shapes and sizes, all styles and everything. To be honest, if I were going to do ANYTHING different when it comes to the business card, I might have bannered a rollercoaster across the top, but then had it trace cut along the top to give it a unique look.

Business cards are supposed to be MEMORABLE, and are also supposed to say exactly what they represent without making you think about it.

President and CEO is necessary because this man is just that, he's the president and CEO. It's different than just being a CEO, and it's different than just being a president. Those are two very specific titles that are necessary, especially if one person has both titles.

Great job, Sute! It looks awesome!
 
I personally don't like the giant pink watermark. Reducing it's opacity a lot would help, nixing it altogether would be better IMO. I do like the use of that same red flag icon in miniature on the bottom line as separators, but it seems to serve no purpose on the business card. Oh, why does the sky background cut off around the paper edges ont he letter head (but the coaster line keeps going)? That's a bit strange to me. I would make the dark outline around the "CedarPoint" text thicker (I don't think it scales down very well). All the text on the business cards and the envelope needs some more breathing room, it's too tight to the edge. And it seems like the darker region on the envelope needs to be placed more lower-right (I'm assuming you want to place the mailing address in there).

In general I think it's a bit too busy and heavy-handed. It's not a bad start but lighten up and simplify is my advice!
 
Get to the point... Cedar Point.

Cedar Point... Where the fun never ends. [i think they have used this one in the past?]


It funny i can't remember what their slogan is, considering i am only 1.5 hrs away from Sandusky, and they play commercials for them all the time.



My two cents:

1. The business card, and both look a little to busy to me. One thought i did have about the business card was to make it vertical instead of the normal landscape layout. This way you could almost have a card that had a roller coaster design, but have it carry over to the other side also. i.e. - you could create a roller coaster track like the magnum, which has a steep hill on one side the carries over to the otherside with loops, or something else.

2. The envelope on the other hand could use the same sort of layout, but opposite, and decreasing the opacity of the graphics to 15-20%, or lower wouldn't hurt either, this will make you text easier to read.

However i do like the letterhead layout idea, but it just for some reason doesn't carry over the same sort of "fun'ness" into the other layouts.
 
Just a small detail.
dont forget to make the phone #big and bold.
I hate when people use tiny fonts for the most important information on a business card, makes me reach for my ready glasses everytime.
 
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