I imagine the OP splits his time between the Apple Store and Fry's Electronics.
(Fry's is notorious for customers helping themselves to replacement parts by breaking open boxes, and having every demo product in the place battered into uselessness. Oh, yea, and for people allowing their kids to run rampant and play bouncy-ball with the hard drives.)
For extra credit, I imagine OP's wife must have been the woman I encountered at Whole Foods the other day with her baby hanging from a sling over her chest, leaning over the milk aisle, as the baby drooled all over the milk cartons... Well, at least she wasn't availing herself of the free samples or the salad bar!