They go by the APN.
Most people install tetherme and leave the defaults APN settings.
The default settings for ATT are "phone" for internet and "broadband" for tethering.
If you enable tethering, it will connect to the broadband one and ATT will know you are tethering. In the tetherme settings, you can change the APN for the tethering from broadband to the same one as regular internet, phone. Then, you should be OK.
My 0.02