As they say in The Godfather, "It's not personal, it's business." They've made various choices over the years that happen to not fit with you personally.
It's not common that the same person would a) have very small ear canals, b) dislike the feel of the butterfly keyboard, plus c) have issues with OLED displays - there's nothing in particular about any one of those things that correlates with the other two. So, I'd suggest that Apple's engineers haven't targeted you in particular, because those three things do not fit a single profile.
AirPods Pro come with ear tips in three sizes. If the Small is too large, you could let Apple know through their comments page. However, I'd imagine the company is already quite aware of what percentage of people can be comfortably fit by the sizes they provide, and have probably decided that supplying ear tips in more sizes would not be productive (let's say, comparing the cost of including a pair of extra-large and extra-small ear tips with every set of AirPods to the number of people who would actually need those sizes).
As to the butterfly keyboard - a new Mac would not have it, because you are hardly the only person who turned out to not like it, so the butterfly is gone. You could that say Apple has already listened to its customers.
But finger pain from using a particular keyboard? I'd suggest that a short-travel keyboard like butterfly requires a lighter touch. Back in the days of manual typewriters I learned to pound a keyboard with the best of them, but I also learned a very long time ago to use a light touch on computer keyboards - in my case a lighter touch meant less stress in my neck and shoulders. If you press harder than necessary, that excess force tends to rebound to your body. A short-term fix for this may be to use an external keyboard that's more to your liking. The long-term fix... throughly try-out the keyboards on new Macs to see if they're better suited to your needs.
OLED displays... Clearly, there are people who are affected; I see the posts. Apple has been using OLED because of superior battery life and that it actually looks really good to a very large percentage of users. All I can say is that there will be other display technologies in the future (because that's the nature of the world), and perhaps you'll be less sensitive to whatever comes next. But it also may be that the same techniques used in OLED will continue, because the benefits for the vast majority of users may not outweigh the affect on those who are sensitive to those techniques.
