If Apple and Google made cars...

[Armen]

The Apple Car:

- Comes in 3 colors

Owners of a Apple Car:

- Bought the car under the impression that the car maintains itself, washes itself and fills up its own gasoline because after all, it Is a "Apple" Car.

- When an issue arises the owner complains to friends and strangers about their Apple car rather than taking it to the dealership to be looked at.

- Has less than efficient gas mileage due to the fact that the trunk is full of all kinds of old junk and announces to the world that the Gas mileage on the Apple car stinks!

The Google Car:

- Comes in all shapes, colors and sizes.

Owners of the Google car:

- Bought the car because it's bigger than the Apple car and tell their friends and family that another deciding factor was that they could totally customize the car to fit their needs although 6 months after purchase it still looks exactly the same as it did when it left the lot.

- Know enough about cars to maintain the car themselves between visits to the dealership.

- Will try and troubleshoot any issues that come up themselves or take it in to the dealership.

- The Google car owner will turn the car off at every red light, drive under the speed limit, accelerate slowly, keep the windows rolled up and keep the Air conditioning off in hot weather just to conserve gas.

 

[Southern Dad]

The Apple Car Owner will have a small white Apple sticker on the back left lower window.

 

[Renzatic]

See, my Apple Car is like a BMW...

 

[roadbloc]

And the Windows car would randomly crash with no explanation.

 

[Peace]

The Umbuntu Car sits in a lot and it's sold as the "best car for your money".
When you drive it home it doesn't seem as well built as it did sitting on the lot.

I sold it and got an Apple Car.

 

[oldhifi]

People would install aftermarket parts and wonder why is is running so slow..

----------

And the Windows car would randomly crash with no explanation.

Yes but it's 8.1

 

[Renzatic]

Yes but it's 8.1

Windows Car 8.1 runs great without any problems, but you can only get in and out of it through the hatchback cuz it doesn't have any doors on the side, and you have to climb underneath the bumper and flip a switch to turn it off (even though there's a switch on the side of the car no one knows about that does the same thing).

 

[Tech198]

who wouldn't want to drive round with an Apple logo embossed on the front

It would probably drive itself though ....

Plus Google does have their self driving car...its just not public yet...

And the Windows car would randomly crash with no explanation.

lol.... People do enough of that already... This would just make it worse.

 

[quagmire]

The Google Car owner will brag about their 600 HP V8 under their hood even though that huge engine is required to move that heavy car at a decent pace.

The Apple Car will have a 300 HP V6 and is faster than the 600 HP Google Car because of its lighter weight.

 

[snberk103]

An Apple car comes in any colour you want… as long as it's aluminium.

 

[2984839]

The BSD car will arrive in a box with an assembly manual.

 

[LizKat]

If my Apple car gets broken unintentionally then I can replace it twice for only $490 under AppleCar Plus? Could be a selling point, depending on how much the AppleCar Plus coverage goes for...

 

[G4er?]

If you want a spare tire or back seat or anything else that used to fit inside you now have to pull a trailer with those items externally.

 

[ChristianVirtual]

The Umbuntu Car sits in a lot and it's sold as the "best car for your money".
When you drive it home it doesn't seem as well built as it did sitting on the lot.

I sold it and got an Apple Car.

I drive both: that Umbuntu Car for all the bulky and dirty transportations and the Apple Car for my day-to-day rides. I just don't like the 30% price increase when I'm sitting "in-car" at the gas pump. To avoid I have to go out and fill up by myself.

 

[stroked]

After two years, the iRide would only get up to 20 MPH, due to the forced OS updates.

 

[Armen]

After two years, the iRide would only get up to 20 MPH, due to the forced OS updates.

After 2 years car parts for your Google car will no longer be stocked by Google Dealerships.

 

[The Doctor11]

Lol that's very funny and very true.

 

[Southern Dad]

After two iOS upgrades my iCar would no longer be able to run current iOS and slowly less apps would be available for it,

 

[tech4all]

Apple car about the size of a Mazda Miata (but with rumors of a stylish four door sedan coming). Available in black, silver, or white. Made in aluminium. Then there would be the Apple Car C available in many colors, but made in Magic Plastic.

Apple cars will only take fuel that first has to get approved by Apple to avoid any toxins; you can only fuel the car at the iService Station.

Google cars would come in many sizes and variations. You could use regular gas at regular gas stations are other alternative fuels. Most likely would be safe to use, but if you go to a shady station, use caution.

Apple Cars would have only an automatic transmission.

Google Cars would have both an automatic and manual transmission.

Apple Car drivers would tell Google Cars drivers that that's too complicated. Google Car drivers would tell them you have little to no control over what their car does.

Ok I'm done...

Plus Google does have their self driving car...its just not public yet...

If Apple came out with a self driving car, here come more lawsuits!

And the Windows car would randomly crash with no explanation.

 

[G51989]

After two iOS upgrades my iCar would no longer be able to run current iOS and slowly less apps would be available for it,

Would it also slow down and be unable to load the app to exit the highway?


That would suck if you had to pee.

 

[Southern Dad]

Would it also slow down and be unable to load the app to exit the highway?


That would suck if you had to pee.

However, some would figure out how to Jailbreak the iCar, unleashing the world of untested apps. The iCars would crash and fail at random along the interstates. Unapproved third party apps would be blamed.

 

[snberk103]

And then don't forget the club of hack-in-cars makers who will spend all their free time assembling parts from the other car makers using zap-straps and duct-tape, and shoe-horning it all into a really cool fibreglass shell body. It will run the Apple Car's software, but everywhere they go they have to car a large tool box - and will need to be prepared to pull over to the shoulder and 'tweak' something under the hood.... especially after fuelling up.

At their club meetings they will go on for hours about how much money they saved, and how much more horsepower their engine has compared to the Apple car. Which is true when tested on the 1/4 mile drag strips... but the Apple Car still seems to win the 24 Hour LeMan's race consistently.

 

[carjakester]

well, i laughed more than once out loud reading these.