Technically the Airpods are in ear currently. Unfortunately in your situation, the Airpods might be a product where they are not for you if they don't fit properly.
There is a product made by Spigen known as Tekra wing tips available on Amazon. Some Have said it really helped the fit to be comfortable.
Perhaps they will find a more formidable solution to help with a better fit for others or offer some type of insert. It's still a first Generation product and Apple has lots of time to improve the overall design. Here is the link to the Spigen Wing Tips mentioned earlier.