The Apple EPP is for Apple EMPLOYEES
only. The public cannot access it from the apple.com website. It is
not the same as the education, government, or the 3rd party corporate EPP discount. Only Apple store employees can purchase this from inside (BOH) an Apple retail store. So this thread is NOT useless, since there are many out there who have friends and family relationships with an actual Apple employee. That is why I stated in the beginning that it "...Must be nice to either be an employee, or at least be related or be friends with one..." Because if you are one of those, then you can avail of the discounted prices via your friendly neighborhood Apple employee. This means that he or she will purchase it for you (even with your own credit/debit card) in Apple's secure intranet access (BOH only), and a few days later you will receive your brand new iPhone in the mail via FedEx directly to your address of choice in the US.
Here's the math for the iPhone:
(Apple Personal EPP) 8gb @ 25% off = $449; 4gb @ 25% off = $374
(Apple Friends & Family EPP) 8gb @15% off = $509; 4gb @ 15% off = $424
Hope this makes sense now to those who did not fully comprehend it from the top.