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Scarlet Fever

macrumors 68040
Jul 22, 2005
3,262
0
Bookshop!
i love this
In what critics see as a cynical exploitation of a tragedy, Dell Computers were quick to slam Apple for releasing the Macbook Air despite warnings about its misuse. The computer giant... has recently launched the Pachytron, the world's thickest laptop at 24" x 12" x 24". Dell's press release claims that "the Pachytron's gargantuan dimensions make it safe to use in even the most gang-ridden neighborhoods."
:D
 

clayj

macrumors 604
Jan 14, 2005
7,648
1,383
visiting from downstream
Maybe Darth Vader could put a MBA to dangerous use if he used it like a tray in the Death Star canteen... at least, Eddie Izzard thinks so:

But there must have been a Deathstar canteen, yeah? There must have been a cafeteria downstairs, in between battles, where Darth Vader could just chill and go down (Vader voice) "I will have the penne a la arabiata." (canteen server) "You'll need a tray." "Do you know who I am?" "Do you know who I am?" "This is not a game of who the [bleep] are you. For I am Vader. Darth Vader. Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought!" "Well you'll still need a tray." "No I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force - which is strong within me - even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished. For I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor…" "No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on." "Oh I see, the food is hot. I'm sorry I, I did not realise. Hah hah! I thought you were challenging me to a fight to the death." "Fight to the death? This is canteen, I work here." "Yes, but I am Vader, I am Lord Vader. Everyone challenges me to a fight to the death. Lord Vader. Darth Vader, I am Darth Vader, Lord Vader. Sir Lord Vader, Sir Lord Darth Vader. Lord Darth Sir Lord Vader of Cheam. Sir Lord Baron von Vaderham. The Deathstar. I run the Deathstar." "What's the Deathstar?" (Darth is losing a bit of patience) "This is the Deathstar. You're in the Deathstar. I run this star." "This is a star?" "This is a [bleeping] star - I run it. I'm your boss." "You're Mr Stephens?" "No, I'm… who is Mr Stephens?" "He's head of catering." "I'm not head of catering! I am Vader. I can kill catering with a thought." "What?" "I can kill you all. I can kill me with a thought. Just… I'll get a tray, [bleep] it!

(Still Vader) This one's wet, and this one's wet, and this one's wet. This one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet. Did you dry these in a rain forest? Why, with the power of the Deathstar, do we not have a tray that is [bleeping] dry? I do not…(someone has pushed in) No, no, no. I was here first." "You have to form a queue if you want food. Can I have, oh, penne a la arabiata, that looks nice." "No, no, no. D'you know who I am?" (server buts in) "That's Jeff Vader, that is." "I am not Jeff Vader, I am Darth Vader." "What, Jeff Vader runs the Deathstar?" "No, Jeff… No, I run the Deathstar." "You Jeff Vader?" "No, I'm Darth Vader!" "Are you his brother? Can you get his autograph?" "I can't get it… No, I'm… All right, I'm Jeff Vader! I'm Jeff Vader!" "Can I have your autograph?" "No, [bleep] off, or I'll kill you with a tray! Give me penne a la arabiata or you shall die. And you, and everyone in this canteen! Death by tray it shall be!" (scornful server) "Do you want peas with that?" "Peas? You don't have peas! You can't put red with…It doesn't work with penne, you don't put, unless you push them up the penne tubes, and then they'd be weird! Just…(gives up) oh, all right, put some peas on."

I think you could probably kill someone with an MBA if you used it to hack at their neck with the thin bit. ;)
 

pagansoul

macrumors 65816
Aug 10, 2006
1,040
43
Earth
Hate to break this to you/everyone but almost anything can be used as a weapon if that is the intention. I always thought it was funny that we have warnings like 'do not use while in shower' on electrical appliances. I think there are more injuries cased by baseball bats than knives. I'm sure phones have clobbered many an unsupecting passerby. Cars, bikes, golf shoes. Pencil, pens, rulers and paper (paper cuts are wicked).

;) I'm in a mood for murder, where is that dental floss?

Side note: If true, it's a sad story and I feel for the family of the young man.
 
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