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Designer Dale

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Mar 25, 2009
3,950
101
Folding space
Finished this for my independent study class. It was a bit of a pain because I left myself too open to possibilities. I just said "Make a travel brochure" with no copy or focus in mind. The images are from the Liquid Library CDs and the text is edited web clips and my own copy.
 

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I have no design skills what so ever but the only thing I don't like is the 3rd panel in the first image. All I see is the shadow of a business man burning... for a vacation that doesn't sound appealing!

The 2nd panel in the first sheet seems kind of like "We got this area we have to print something on so just fill it with whatever".
 
The third panel from the left has a watch on a burl wood table as a background. The idea was to catch the attention of someone who needs a vacation and is feeling pressed for time. It looks better at 300 dpi. The inside panels have relevant info. The first has background about the Virgin Islands, the center has places to see info and the last is info about the travel agency.

Thanks for the comments.
 
An Improvement

I think this is a little more inviting. I used CS3 for this.
Excuse me for answering myself. It's late and I wanted to get this up tonight.
 

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I think this is a little more inviting. I used CS3 for this.
Excuse me for answering myself. It's late and I wanted to get this up tonight.

Big improvement on the 3rd panel. I'd try reversing the use of type in this though. Have the text on the top as the san serif and the question line below as the script type.

Picture_1.png
 
My thoughts on the center panel (Wish You Were Here?) is just that it doesn't really advertise the client. It's just a generic thing that could be anywhere. Much improved third panel though! I'm no longer scared. :)
 
Big improvement on the 3rd panel. I'd try reversing the use of type in this though. Have the text on the top as the san serif and the question line below as the script type.

Picture_1.png

Ill just jump in on a marketing aspect..... I like this one the best but i would leave out the question completely. I think you would keep it positive with your statement "We have your reservations waiting". I would never give a potential customer a way out and with the question you are doing just that.

Just my two cents..... "K.I.S.S." is a good thing to always consider.
 
Thanks for the comments so far. It's nice to have a self-proclaimed Non Designer (Silent Panda) post an opinion. Sometimes I get tied up in "messages" and need to step back and have someone say "I see a burning businessman".

The question does make the first panel intimidating and my choice of a script font was driven by those fancy reservation cards you get for things you never attend. At least I don't.

I like the Skia best, but the Futura pops out better. Both remove the conflict between two script fonts, which I know is a bad idea. This is set up to be a rack displayed brochure with this panel as the front and the center as the back as it is closed. I will work on that panel today. I have dumped a lot from this since before I posted, so K.I.S.S. is a direction I want to move to.
 

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My color blindness probably didn't help the burning business man aspect... ;)

I like the futura font better.

Although I hear Comic Sans is all the rage!
 
My Redesigned Graphic Panels.

Thanks for all of the feedback. I dumped the "Looks like I stuck it there" (I did) center panel and added client info. The fill is a sample from the sand. I stripped the script text from the left panel and it looks better to me. I question the key line around the name and contact info in the center. It conflicts with the front, but makes the contact stand out better.

If you never hear from me again, then the fed takes a dim view of using a U.S. passport image.
 

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I'll drop in my 2 cents...:)

Last redesign shows a lot of improvement and I think it can be almost a final product that would require only minimal tweaking around.

How many different fonts do you have on all panels (on both faces)? Try and keep them to no more than two or three different ones (and by that I also mean weights and styles).

On the third panel I wouldn't place the text all centered up in the middle of the sky...leave some room for breathing...and relaxation (pun intended) :)

Maybe try to get the background color on the second panel to match the color of the sand on the first panel..and make this second panel a little less "rigid".

My personal "modus operandi"...work on it, close the file and come back to it next day (or later in the day if pressed for time).

Good work.

EDIT: A good design is always a work in progress...but for the clients sake, work must stop somewhere :)
 
All Done

Fonts reduced to three, Garamond Pro, Skia and Optima, all regular faces. The lighter back for the center was an alternate choice that I didn't go with at the time. The previous color choice had a leather look to it, but didn't pull the text out. How leather relates to an island vacation escapes me at the time being. The print has two stray bars at the side of the box holding the passport image. I will fix that but not post any more.

I would like to thank everyone who added their opinions on my work, it helped me to look at it with a more critical eye. I am pleased with the final product. It is much better for being offered to you folks for your opinions.

Dale
 

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I think I'd go with left aligned type on that third panel. The ellipses just don't look right being right aligned... Other than that, I would reconsider using Futura or a similar san serif typeface...
 
The 3 panels have no relationship with each other, making them look like sponsor ads to different places. The inside is fine because you are following the same style through all the panels, do the same with the outside (it doesnt have to be an image that goes across all 3 panels, it could be a background color or sand texture or whatever).
 
Missed a space on panel one, far right of the first sheet. I fixed that. Right align appeals to me because the ellipses lead the eye to the edge that would be opened first. I am going to print it with right and left align and see what it looks like folded. The middle panel does still need work. I would like it to either blend in with the sand on the front or span the image with the starfish across two panels. The only serif font is Garamond Premier Pro for the inside copy at 12 pt. Some folks say sans serif is easier to read. For my eye the serifs lead me along in body copy. What do other folks think?
 
I agree that serif fonts are much better on the eyes as far as body text goes... I do love a good san serif font for headlines though and sometimes body text (when I can make it work):eek:
 
I Lied

Said I was done posting, but I wanted to show the results of the last few suggestions. I really like the continuity I have been able to gain as I work in a more simplified fashion. My number 1 is the one without the passport image. The only issue is that it folds on the edge of the left hand chair. I used some rather quick PhotoShop to remove beach wanderers, so if it shows, I know. Without the passport hanging up there, I have ample space to bring all of the text on all of the panels into alignment.
 

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The last one is much better than all of the above.
However I don't like you headline font.

Why don't you use only one font type in your whole design?
 
I have to agree with the above post. It does look the best, but he has a point about mixing typefaces. It can sometimes be for the worst unless they just absolutely look great together. They are improving though.
 
Hrm I don't like the passport hanging in mid air... but I don't like the dead space either... :( Now that I think about it, is there need to mention the lack of need of a passport? Although then you have a lot of dead space. From what I've seen on TV if you fill dead space with bikini's things sell. :p

Maybe if there were text that spanned the 3 panels in continuity that would entice somebody to open it up to finish reading it? It's a tri-fold pamphlet right?
 
Tough audience. I appreciate it, really. The two fonts on the outside was "user error". This is with all Tahoma regular, which many seem to like better than Skia. Running text across a trifold usually doesn't work well. When you open panel one, the right, you see panel two, which is the left here. I don't have a lot of bikini babe photos to toss in here, and the beach bums I Photoshopped out looked really bored. I have a "happy couple running out of the surf" image and maybe I can use that. I'm happy with the result, but have time to play with it a bit more. Then I start on my first gatefold...
 

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