My husband had his old iPhone (8?) in his drawer, it had been wiped clean. A week later I looked at it, and it had contacts on it . It had both very recent contacts, probably within the last month, but it also had what (he says) were the old contacts that were on that phone before we were a couple. Aka his ex listed under her pet name. He says because he won’t pay for more iPhone data it synced his old contacts when he logged it in to iCloud to supposedly find his Venmo password. It sounds like a lie to me.
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iPhone 8/Plus My husband has a burn phone ?
- Thread starter Mamisbunnyranch
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So, if I take a clean phone and tell him to log in to it with I cloud and watch it load up, it will not have that funky mix of contacts on it? So as to prove my point to him?
When setting up an iOS device and you enter your Apple ID you will have the option to either set it up fresh, no data, empty phone or to apply an existing backup.
Some people store backups in iCloud hence the data restores from there.
In addition, iCloud also works as a collector of contacts, calendars etc as it’s a cloud based service. So if you iCloud is used to store contacts and the questionable contacts are in the cloud, they will all be loaded onto the device.
Some people store backups in iCloud hence the data restores from there.
In addition, iCloud also works as a collector of contacts, calendars etc as it’s a cloud based service. So if you iCloud is used to store contacts and the questionable contacts are in the cloud, they will all be loaded onto the device.
I played detective with my X wife before our divorce .... This stuff will eat you alive. You'll be carrying this crap around all day with you. The truth will eventually come out either way, don't go crazy in the process. An easy technique to find cheaters is to be mysterious yourself, text message away from him, lock your phone, change your wardrobe up, whatever. See if he accuses you.
Along with new ones? It said his address was this house, we moved in 2 years ago... I was in there as my pet name, his ex he split with before me was in there with her pet name, along with his coworkers from a job he quit 2 years ago...
Since a group of strangers cannot evaluate how well the accused understands his device the only option would be to guess.
If you have an old backup on your iCloud account this is a likely scenario.
If you don’t update your contacts often, this is expected behaviour.
If you don’t find any proof to the contrary, consider that in dubio pro reo is a thing for a reason.
Does he have two different iCloud accounts? That would make sense with the "won't pay more more iPhone data," which I think he actually means iCloud data. If he had one iCloud account that he used on his iPhone 8, but then made a new iCloud account for his new iPhone, the contacts and data would be different. That would explain why he would log in to the old account to find a password stored in his previous iCloud Keychain. That's the only situation that makes sense to me. To verify, you would go to Settings and compare the email addresses used to sign-on to iCloud. If they're different, his story makes sense.
I occasionally find old contacts and websites when syncing old devices with iCloud.
Actually, I recently found a MySpace link to a booty call that I haven't talked to in 12 years on my M1 Mac. That was before iCloud even existed, and it was probably first associated with my .Mac service.
If my wife found that link, I am sure that she wouldn't care because she trusts me, but I guess everyone is different.
Actually, I recently found a MySpace link to a booty call that I haven't talked to in 12 years on my M1 Mac. That was before iCloud even existed, and it was probably first associated with my .Mac service.
If my wife found that link, I am sure that she wouldn't care because she trusts me, but I guess everyone is different.
Sounds like you’re already suspect of him.
Why did he need to login to his old account for the password instead of just doing a password reset and recovering from email?
Maybe he thought it was easier. But then why even mention how much data he has to pay for? Keychain passwords don’t take up much of your cloud storage. Plus, iCloud recovery can take a while. A password reset for Venmo is faster.
the excuse is based on how iCloud and keychain works, but there are some questions to catch him on.
Seems like there’s more problems that you need to deal with that are more important than this. You are looking for a gotcha on him to prove something you already suspect. I’m sorry you are going through this. I am currently separated from my spouse, but it’s not cheating related.
Why did he need to login to his old account for the password instead of just doing a password reset and recovering from email?
Maybe he thought it was easier. But then why even mention how much data he has to pay for? Keychain passwords don’t take up much of your cloud storage. Plus, iCloud recovery can take a while. A password reset for Venmo is faster.
the excuse is based on how iCloud and keychain works, but there are some questions to catch him on.
Seems like there’s more problems that you need to deal with that are more important than this. You are looking for a gotcha on him to prove something you already suspect. I’m sorry you are going through this. I am currently separated from my spouse, but it’s not cheating related.
I wouldn't rest my entire case on an old iPhone that my spouse was cheating on me. Has anything else changed? Working Late more? Not around as much? Going out for milk even though there is plenty? If absolutely nothing has changed in his behavior other than an old iPhone, I wouldn't worry about it. If his ex's name is in there and it bothers you, since you obviously have access, delete the contact.
imo - you can't control another person's actions. If you don't feel comfortable - then speaking with a professional that deals with relationship issues may be of benefit. Most likely there is more than just cell phone issues going on.
I thought about it, and maybe she would at least question it and ask me about it.
TRUE STORY: A few years back my wife started crying, then asking if I was cheating on her. I said no, and asked her why she would think this, and she said that I have been spending an excessive amount of time on the computer.
She is a Psychotherapist and hears cheating stories from her clients all the time, so I guess she was carrying the emotional weight of that, then saw similar signs in my own behavior.
But, it was honestly completely innocent.
I explained to her that I was spending a lot of time on the Mac Rumors website, and even showed her my web history which was filled with thousands of MR URLs over the previous few days.
She then laughed at the situation and at me for being a tech nerd, she apologized for being weird, and it was never brought up again.
You are probably right. Why would the OP bother looking at the phone if she didn't suspect something:
This^, this^, and this^. If there is something that is making you suspicious, be it his actions, or even your own insecurities getting the best of you (no hate here, just seen it before) this is something that needs to be addressed, but not through a tech forum. So again, maybe there's more than just contacts in a phone, which may actually be from logging into iCloud, either way, please find the proper help to get you through this for your own well being.
Best of luck to you.
Devin
Just making my way through Breaking Bad for the first time. Interesting.
If I took a random new Apple device and set it up it would absolutely load contacts both new and so old that some of those phone numbers probably stopped working 5+ years ago; and now that I think about it I might even have a contact or two there that have passed away.
Whatever your actual problem is it isn't one that you can solve with questions about tech.
I guess you have your suspicions because you were looking / checking in the first place.
There is a relatively easy fix / solution to this, albeit of questionable morality. It is up to you if you choose to do this, I'm just outlining a possible solution.
When you next have access to this old phone, add a new number to the Ex's name. This can be either a burner phone of your own, or a trusted friend's number you know he won't have stored already. Make this newly added number the preferred, default contact.
If he is still sending the ex any texts / making calls, he will do it by her name and not check the actual number. Instead of going to her, it will go to the burner/friends phone.
If you want to check that it will work correctly, test it on your own first before making the changes. It could make the situation worse if you get caught. I'm not saying you should do this, just saying it's an option.
There is a relatively easy fix / solution to this, albeit of questionable morality. It is up to you if you choose to do this, I'm just outlining a possible solution.
When you next have access to this old phone, add a new number to the Ex's name. This can be either a burner phone of your own, or a trusted friend's number you know he won't have stored already. Make this newly added number the preferred, default contact.
If he is still sending the ex any texts / making calls, he will do it by her name and not check the actual number. Instead of going to her, it will go to the burner/friends phone.
If you want to check that it will work correctly, test it on your own first before making the changes. It could make the situation worse if you get caught. I'm not saying you should do this, just saying it's an option.
Any iPhone old and new that shares the same Apple ID and has iCloud sync set up for contacts will synchronize the old phone contacts with the new one's but none will be deleted.
I don't think there's any foul play going on
I don't think there's any foul play going on
So, you are spying on your husband and you do not trust him at all.
Talk about it or leave him. But be aware, he still could love you and the next one ist just a humble human as well.
Talk about it or leave him. But be aware, he still could love you and the next one ist just a humble human as well.
FIRST ... you need to check yourself.
1. IF you need to keep checking your husbands' OLD phone ... the issue is NOT with him per se ... its your lack of trust.
2. if you husband was cheating on you, yeah he's stupid, BUT do you really think you married such a dumb man that he'd leave a phone unlocked with his 'EX' and other contacts for you to so EASILY find if he was really attempting to or trying to actually cheat on you?
Seriously his 'EX' is the one whom should have the jealousy ... YOU married HIM and HE married YOU! She's the ex for a damn GOOD reason!
There are a LOT better ways to check if he's cheated:
extended hours out,
oddities in communication, especially with intimacy, rapid changes in the type of intimacy he likes to engage in (you just need to listen to all the funny jokes about marriage or cheating from Chris Rock to know).
- I've got a LOT of personal experiences of being cheated on or my ex which is a great friend and someone i honestly will never stop loving. We ALL loved someone else before and a part of us is part of the experience we had with them.
FOCUS on where your insecurities are coming from an FIX them internally.
THEN Focus on your marriage with him (not you alone, he needs to be involved daily in that marriage as well).
Besides the pandemic when was the last time you BOTH did something absolutely silly together? Something cute, passionate, fun together?! When was the last time you both kissed ... I mean REALLY embraced a solid real deep passionate kiss?
At the very end of this jealousy ... If he's cheating on you, so be it. He's saving you from a crappy marriage and you'll soon find out. Just know this jealousy COULD be the reason to push him away - even if he's not attempted to and not even cheating.
So, your post got me wondering. I just got a new phone last year. I just looked and it totally has my exes on it in the contacts as well. 🤣 Maybe not the same scenario, because I guess I never deleted them? But I don’t know that. Don’t remember, never cared.
My opinion... you really need to pump the breaks. You certainly need to talk with him (not accuse), just to clear the air, because I’m sure you’re acting weird now. But from your post alone, there isnt even reasonable suspicion of infidelity.
You asked a forum, so you get a bunch of answers. But hey, you know the guy better than us. Just be aware that an ACCUSATION like that, whether true or NOT, can leave lasting trust issues.