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Yes, your iPad needs to be on iPadOS 13 aswell (duh). If it still won’t show, what Mac/iPad model and from which year do you have? (As older models aren’t all supported)
 
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You pick the iPad from the Airplay menu on the status bar, next to the clock. Sidecar is only mentioned in the systems preferences menu anyway.
 
On my 12” MacBook Early 2016 I only get Sidecar working when I connect my iPad Pro 11” via USB-C. Via WiFi it isn’t working..
 
On my 2017 12" MacBook, I can't get Sidecar working at all with my 10.5" iPad Pro. Public Beta 1 of Catalina and iPadOS respectively.

The MacBook sees the iPad Pro, but can't connect to it. It says it times out. I've tried WiFi, Bluetooth, and wired. None work.

It's kinda moot though, since it looks like I won't be able to run Catalina anyway for a while. Neither of my two different VPN software packages that I use for my two workplaces work in Catalina (or iPad OS for that matter).
 
Had it working for a few days but since getting Beta 3 on my MacBook, it won't work, says need newer software on the iPad. frustrating because they've not released PB2 for the iPad yet
 
Mine turned up in System Preferences after enabling bluetooth on both devices. There was an error when trying to connect through, so never used.
 
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