top 5 reasons I'd rather be married to my iPhone

[dlemmon]

5.) Does simple commands without complaining.

4.) Remembers important dates without the guilt if I forget

3.) The iPhone doesn't shut off internet access when looking at girly pics.

2.) easier to find the buttons on the iPhone

1.) Mute switch

kinda dumb, but I just thought of it while doing laundry

feel free to add

 

[paulyras]

6. Doesn't get mad when you say that you'd rather be married to your iphone than her...

 

[Small White Car]

kinda dumb, but I just thought of it while doing laundry

Let me guess...

7) Doesn't make me do laundry.

 

[-aggie-]

If you're having problems finding the buttons, you're doing it wrong.

 

[dlemmon]

6. Doesn't get mad when you say that you'd rather be married to your iphone than her...

lol, no I love my wifey. I have today off, so I'm catching up on stuff so we have the whole weekend with no house stuff to do.

 

[mgamber]

Man, you gotta get out of your parent's house and meet some girls! Real girls that can do things only real girls can do. There's no app for that and if there was, Apple would decline it because they're still living with mom and dad too!

 

[jav6454]

If you're having problems finding the buttons, you're doing it wrong.

Or doesn't have buttons to press on...

Edit - Appears OP is actually married, don't let her find out...

 

[dlemmon]

Man, you gotta get out of your parent's house and meet some girls! Real girls that can do things only real girls can do. There's no app for that and if there was, Apple would decline it because they're still living with mom and dad too!

lol. Apple's new ad campain:

Are you in need of a female companion...

There's an app for that.

(of course she'd be missing basic functions)

 

[Gix1k]

I love my iphone so very much!

 

[thelatinist]

8) Your iPhone won't make you sleep on the couch when it reads this.

 

[leomac08]

5.) Does simple commands without complaining.

WTH??? ur iphone complains????????????????

 

[Interstella5555]

Your phone will never realize how unlucky it is to have you as an owner/partner?

 

[QCassidy352]

Man, you gotta get out of your parent's house and meet some girls! Real girls that can do things only real girls can do. There's no app for that and if there was, Apple would decline it because they're still living with mom and dad too!

Your phone will never realize how unlucky it is to have you as an owner/partner?

wow, learn to take a joke maybe?

 

[dryja123]

9) I can turn on my iPhone.

 

[Interstella5555]

If you're having problems finding the buttons, you're doing it wrong.

This X1000.

 

[GoCubsGo]

9) I can turn on my iPhone.

I LOL'ed!!
But for me, it's 5 reasons why I'll never marry ... which coincidentally have nothing to do with the iPhone.

 

[rjohnstone]

Some iPhones have severe PMS.

They drop calls for no reason or not let you answer them by freezing their screen and becoming unresponsive. (Sounds like someone I used to know)

Or they will randomly power off when your in the middle of something important.

 

[misterc]

Lol

As I'm reading this to my wife she says to add, " don't forget the vibrate function!!"

however I remided her how weak that vibrate function was and she just smiled... FML

 

[dbwie]

and...

You get "rollover" minutes.

 

[TSX]

Id hate to know what your sticking in the sim eject hole!

 

[arubinst]

9) I can turn on my iPhone.

10) I can turn OFF my iPhone

 

[iPhone 62S]

Man, you gotta get out of your parent's house and meet some girls! Real girls that can do things only real girls can do. There's no app for that and if there was, Apple would decline it because they're still living with mom and dad too!

It's called a vibrate function

 

[chstr]

looks better with age

is not completely irrational

is sane

uses it's brain in a rational manner

looks better

 

[randomusername]

I'm sure sex isn't a problem, either. We know you can fit into the 3.5mm headphone jack.

 

[RaceTripper]

11. Keeps you company while you sh*t.