Jaded...
"but never Xcode."
Yep, that's what I wrote. You are new to xCode and maybe OSX or iOS programming also?
In the nearly decade I have used xCode I have NEVER seen it auto-update anything, except when I check the documents preferences to do so.
At one time I did install the tool from the Apple Developer sight to update OSX (it won't update xCode) with the latest betas. Since many of the OSX betas (and iOS) bring with them problems and beta instabilities I removed that utility from my OSX preferences (not xCode).
Oh and if you are also new to Objective C here's what I found, there is a lot of object philosophy in common with MFC. So if you are familiar with MFC the learning curve to Apple's Objective C isn't that steep.
As far as the programming suites go, in my opinion, xCode beats MS "Studio" hands down. What MS does allow in their programming studio is a greater variety of languages, while xCode is limited to Objective C and Swift (with good old C capabilities in tacked on).