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Spanky Deluxe

macrumors 603
Original poster
Mar 17, 2005
5,296
1,854
London, UK
Like the title says, what's the most idiotic way you've ever hurt yourself?

I have two which could easily qualify:

1) Breaking my wrist while trying to demolish a paper bridge.

2) Piercing my tongue with a Playmobil ship.
 
I tore open my ear at McDonalds when I was 4. I was swinging between 2 tables and I fell. Stitches and blood loss later, I have a scar on my ear.

I RAN into a door. I fell. I couldn't move my arms for about a week. (tendinitis)

I nearly killed my wrists by playing viola and violin too much. It hurt and I just kept playing. This is by far the stupidest way I hurt myself.

Also, I managed to grow a 2 CM kidney stone in my one kidney. Aww yea. that's my crown jewel of dumb injuries.
 
when i was younger i sat down in a patch of grass right onto a thorn. painful. and stupid.
 
Probably the time I got pushed into a light pole and ripped open my palm.

Or the time I put my Nissan Sentra into the back of a minivan.

The body is wonderfully fragile and resilient, eh?
 
There are so many I can't pick just one. Umm, last week at work I closed my two middle fingers in between two garage door panels. That hurt pretty good, but in ten minutes I'm sure I'll think of something worse.
 
At my fourth grade dance, I was doing a cartwheel and got pushed over. Broke my thumb twice, wrist, and arm. 12 weeks made up of 3 casts. My thumb still cracks when I bend it.

FYI, I did the macarena anyway after it happened.
 
A couple of months back I was cycling home from work when i decided that I really need to pull my shorts up - i was slightly worried that if they continued their descent I'd be showing a half moon to the following traffic. So I stood up on the pedals, took one hand off the handle bars and started trying to tug my shorts up. Next thing I know I face first on the ground, bleeding from my mouth and with a really painful wrist.

Xrays the next day were inconclusive as far as the wrist went and I refused a cast as it would have stopped me working but my pride was definitely damaged.
 
calebjohnston said:
At my fourth grade dance, I was doing a cartwheel and got pushed over. Broke my thumb twice, wrist, and arm. 12 weeks made up of 3 casts. My thumb still cracks when I bend it.

FYI, I did the macarena anyway after it happened.

Really? A fourth grade dance?

Do tell more.
 
I got a paper cut because I was reading to fast.:(
And yes, yes it hurt. :(
I also broke my collarbone trying to tackle someone in a football game. (I did bring him down)
But those aren't really stupid things.

Taking a pan of French-Fries out of the oven without mitts.
And then running out of the house barefoot to bury my hands in the snow.
Without realizing that the I have those doors that locks behind you.
So after scurrying (barefoot) around to the back door to dig through 12 inches of snow for the spare key hid under the fake dog-doo.

Frozen feet and toasted hands. That was stupid.
 
8th grade.
Missed bus.
Had to walk home.
4 miles.
15° F
No gloves.
Hands freezing.
Had to pee.....increasingly.
Couldn't "negociate" the cold.
So I went for it to make the
Last half mile. Desperate.
Half a block, started all out sprint.
Tripped in alley. Fell hard.
All pee broke loose.
Totally frozen pants, I crinkled in to house.
"Dad, don't you dare say a word."
 
We needed a new screen door on the front door. I went to the hardware store and had an aluminum one framed to the right dimensions. I strapped it to the top of the car and brought it home. Once at home, I removed the straps, stood behind the car, and slid the screen door down off the car, guiding it to the ground with my hands.

Then I realized I had just slid two long pieces of thin metal (the outer edges of the door) across my wrists. I looked at them and, sure enough, I had two thin cuts that they were starting to bleed! :eek:

I ran in the house and patched myself up. It scared Mrs. Q as much as it scared me. Dumb dumb dumb!
 
I went to sit down in a chair, I uhhh...missed the chair, I stuck my arm out to break my fall and snapped it in half. I could hear the bone crunching.

And if that's not bad enough the next year I went to sit down in that same chair again and the same thing happened! I'm very cautious when I sit down now.
 
killuminati said:
And if that's not bad enough the next year I went to sit down in that same chair again and the same thing happened! I'm very cautious when I sit down now.
If I were you, I'd just stay standing from now on.

I thought of another dumb thing I did to my hands: the time I picked up a food skewer not realizing that it had just come out of the oven. I had a nice burn mark across my palm and thumb, on a diagonal. And I dropped the food too. What a waste of a good kabob!
 
I was eight years old. And I still thought the world of my father. I was running to catch up with him... his elbow met my eye. I had a black eye for a week or two.
 
thedude110 said:
Really? A fourth grade dance?

Do tell more.

Mmm, yes. Every year my elementary school would have a "dance" in which everyone would stand around and giggle and dance the macarena and two other stupid things. I was doing a cartwheel, and BAM... got hit by a kid behind me by accident. Fell over, and snap, crackle, pop.
 
Playing superman when i was 7yrs.....jumped off the shed and onto a barbwire fence......12 stiches behind my ears...damn that hurt.

When i was 8yrs....jump off my parents washer maching playing:rolleyes: kung fu man......broke both bones in my hand...started laughing after it broke.

10yrs...playing:rolleyes: bat n ball with a bat with rusty nails in it...bamm! right in the knee cap!

Bless
 
when I use to play soccer, I was the goalie at one game and when I was kicking the ball back I kicked my hand instead and broke all 5 fingers.
I still to this day try to replay how I did it, and I cant figure out how my foot hit my hand :(

I also know a girl who was making out with her boyfriend on her front porch in the middle of the night and she pressed up against the railing and fell over and broke her neck :( She cant walk anymore :(
 
I girl I knew many yeas ago was working at Macdonalds. She was making fries. She accidentally drop the fry scoop thing into the oil. The natural reaction ... is to grab it !!!
She put her hand in 360 F oil !

ouch :eek:
 
I have a few:

Walked off road into ditch while saluting officer on base and broke right ankle... officer laughed face off and helped me to the MIR...

Tripped and fell in brand new high heeled boots (3") and broke both wrists...

jumped into glass door at night and broke nose...

got my hair , its down to mid thigh in length, caught in automatic closing doors at mall whikle running through it and got yanked backwards till I fell over...
Vote for your favorite:rolleyes:
 
Flynnstone said:
I girl I knew many yeas ago was working at Macdonalds. She was making fries. She accidentally drop the fry scoop thing into the oil. The natural reaction ... is to grab it !!!
She put her hand in 360 F oil !

ouch :eek:

And that is why she works at McDonalds :D


Back in middle school PE class, we were playing hockey, and I was goalie and completely forgot to put on a face mask (why didn't anyone tell me about it?) Well, I paid for my stupidity because I got nailed right in the eye with a puck going at a high rate of speed :eek: Amazingly, I had no injuries whatsoever, not even a black eye. Just a ton of pain right after it happened.
 
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