Yes, I got the 42mm. No worries - I tried them on at the Apple store multiple times before deciding on the 42mm. I only got it for $30 more so I thought "meh, why not?" It doesn't look big on my wrists or anything, and I prefer the larger screen.
i must have been thrown off by you saying you have small wrists - i'm guessing they aren't really that small if the 42 doesn't look big.
i assume you've tried on all the combinations then! I found the milanese made the watch look bigger than other bands, and the 42 didn't feel right for some reason. the leather loop was fantastic, but i can't see one being appropriate for me for a few years (young baby and another on the way, and living in a very rainy place) - i don't want to worry about getting my arms wet! ruling that out, and because i liked the milanese i went for the 38mm.
it may just be me, but every band seems to make the watch itself look different somehow. and the finish of the cases; holding a sport next to a stainless steel it's hard to believe they're the same shape and size - the shininess makes it look boxier somehow to me.
the milanese is my favourite band, i think, although you say you orded SS with black sports band... aren't they the space black ones? they might look odd with the apple milanese loop