I use VS all the time and i'm connected to SQL server.
Ok - important question: do you mean
Visual Studio or
Visual Studio Code? Totally different products and if you mean "Visual Studio" forget about getting a Mac unless you're ready to make huge workflow changes: there's no direct Mac equivalent of VS for Windows... there is/was a "Visual Studio for Mac" (now discontinued) but that was something completely different
again. Complaints on a postcard to Microsoft for using confusing product names.
VS Code is well supported on Mac - but you should still check around to see if all of the languages, tools and plugins you use are supported
and tested on Mac.
Likewise - but maybe not such a big deal breaker - SQL Server doesn't run natively on Mac - sounds like you're connecting to a remote server but if you
do need it running locally you'll have to run it in something like Docker (& possibly under x86 emulation, although that's probably fine for testing).
The Mac is a great development machine for modern, platform-agnostic mobile/web technologies, but if there's lingering Windows stuff in your workflow you may be better off sticking to PC.
Would it make more sense to get a desktop Mac? My mind is very confused. What do you think?
With Apple Silicon, everything is using the same range of systems-on-a-chip so there's no night-and-day performance difference between laptops and desktops with the same processor name (the fanless MacBook Airs are slightly slower under heavy load) and most development work isn't CPU heavy anyway. So even an occasional need for mobility would tip the balance in favour of a laptop. If you're likely to do
development work on the road then I'd definitely go for a 15" or 16", but if you're mostly going to commute between desks with large displays or just do email etc. on the road a 13" or 14" will be more portable.
If you like a multi-display setup (great for development) be aware that while any desktop Mac will support dual displays, the lower-end MacBook Air and MacBook Pro models with M1 and M2 (not pro or max) processors will only drive a single external display - the M3 MacBook Air/Pro can drive two if you close the lid and turn off the internal display. If you're likely to want a multi-monitor setup I'd go for a "M1/2/3 pro" or "max" chip which supports more displays and have beefier GPUs.