I really don't understand how millennials can pose the problem of home automation.
I've been using HomeKit since it's available, I don't even know when, it will be almost 10 years, first I learned to use Siri and then CarPlay, along with the Shortcut routines (which I used before it was acquired by Apple) and, on Macs, especially at work, Automator.
In the house I have lights, motion sensors, temperature, humidity, power sockets, all simple systems that manage simple appliances (because the real problem is to make two or more AIs talk to each other) and interact with each other: everything that is possible to automate, without becoming ridiculous (I don't automate an espresso machine that I have to load every time).
The lights only turn on when the external brightness is less than a certain parameter, if someone is in the house, if there is movement in the room, with any time limits. If the humidity exceeds a certain threshold, the dehumidifier is turned on, otherwise the heating. If the washing machine is working it suspend the dishwasher and so on. I will have explained a thousand times to my guests that to turn on a light you just have to move one hand or ask Siri to do it, from their devices or from the HomePods, every time they look for the switch.
I understand that digital-born homes can prove to be a problem, but technology, before than selling products, should serve to make lives simpler, even if they seem worse or assisted.
To overcome the fear of being a victim of your own home, just leave analogue switches: between an AI and a human, whoever controls the electricity wins.
For now.