The problem nowadays (since probably as early as the A9 chipset devices, perhaps?) is battery life, not performance. Devices mostly perform well when updated (mostly, they aren’t amazing but they’re half-decent), but battery life is a lot worse. For somebody who’s been running the original iOS version (12), for years, they will definitely notice a performance degradation when updating from one minute to the next to iOS 17, but likely they’ll say that “it isn’t anything catastrophic, and it works fine”. Battery life, on the other hand? It may be as much as 50% worse. That’s the main issue nowadays.I had a coworker with a XS on iOS 14 I had been pestering about updating, but he kept saying it would slow down his phone, blah blah blah. He finally had to relent a few months ago and update to iOS 16 due to some apps he could no longer update/use. He admitted is wasn't any slower on iOS 16.
My 9.7-inch iPad Pro was forced from iOS 9 into iOS 12 a few years ago (version which it still runs), and performance was mostly unaffected, but battery life was an immediate 25% decrease, which it never recovered from.
iOS 12 to 17? The user will most likely notice some animations aren’t as smooth, and slightly delayed loading and response times, but honestly nothing that cannot be disregarded as “negligible”, especially if you aren’t a perfectionist when it comes to that. Battery life is a whole different world. It may be the difference from a device that’s good for a whole day to one that needs to be “looked after” all the time, with middle-of-the-day plug-ins and a significant degradation.