(Wow, everybody...the OP is complaining about the cross-ship/deposit requirement for something as small as a cheap pair of headphones, and not that Apple won't replace the part for him, which if given the chance they probably would. I think OP's complaint and your responses along the lines of "your son probably broke them anyway; take responsibility, you crybaby" are from cross-dimensions...do they even teach reading comprehension anymore in school these days?)
OP, I'm actually surprised at your story. Reason being that I've dealt with Apple support by mail-in before for big-ticket items (like iPhones), and the cross-ship method has always been presented to me as an *option* but *never* a requirement. Maybe things are different when you call for iPod support... (actually, this wouldn't surprise me; you call a different phone # and I do now remember having to talk to the iPod guys a couple times, and it sounded like they were overseas whereas the iPhone group for the U.S. is definitely housed domestically)
Here is what I understand your options to be with Apple mail-in support (at least in my experience):
1. No cross-shipment. They generate a "case #" (your RMA#) AND they even send you a box and pay for shipping both ways. You wait for the box to come, stuff your defective product in it, and drop it off at the nearest FedEx facility with the pre-paid label attached. Wait a week, get the replacement. If self-inflicted/user damage is OBVIOUS, then they will simply return your original product to you and refuse to repair/replace it, but they will never charge you back for the shipping costs in either direction; they end up eating that even if it is a false claim. This is the default.
2. Cross-shipment. You give them a CC#, they put a "hold" on your CC for the value of the product being replaced, they ship you the new product FIRST, and then you have I think somewhere between 7-14 days to return the original product (again, with pre-paid shipping label included) in the box that they sent the new product in. If you don't return it, or if self-inflicted damage to the returned product is OBVIOUS (it comes back to them in bite-sized pieces, say...in other words, not a manufacturing error), only then do you forfeit the deposit. The deposit is there to protect them from getting scammed by someone. NOTE: there is ALSO a non-refundable $30 charge for the convenience of the cross-shipment SERVICE that you don't get back, regardless. So be careful not to confuse this with the deposit amount.
3. Cross-shipment with AppleCare plan. This is exactly the same as #2, except that if you have AppleCare coverage on your device, cross-shipment is always the default option, and you get it "gratis" (there is no $30 convenience fee).
I could be wrong here, but I believe in the case of cross-shipment, if there is a dispute as to whether the malfunction is your fault and they are refusing to refund the deposit as a result, you can return the replacement part and get your original (defective) one back and avoid the charge. Don't quote me on that, though. (And you still wouldn't get the $30 "service" charge back, if you don't have AppleCare.)
But all that aside, I understand where you're coming from: you don't want to run the risk that they are going to "find" some user-inflicted damage where there is none, and so "find" a reason to keep the deposit. You'd rather they look at the part FIRST and then make a decision, which is why you want to go what you call the "RMA route." For the sake of the other readers here, you aren't complaining that Apple is refusing to replace them. In fact, I think I read your stance as this: IF they are going to claim that your son damaged the earbuds and so refuse to replace them, then fine and so be it; it isn't worth your time or energy to fight them over it. But at least without the deposit requirement, you could try your hand at getting them replaced under warranty without being forced to pay $30 for a replacement set of crappy earbuds (in the event they don't rule in your favor) if your son is content with $10 crappy earbuds.
That having been established, it has been my experience so far that Apple (at least in iPhone Support Department land) has been more than fair and equitable to me when I use their cross-shipment service, and I've had my fair share of iPhones replaced by them, both in person and via the "cross-ship" mail-in service (I've talked about my hardware issues with iPhones before here on MR...I've definitely been disappointed about hardware quality, but NEVER their service, which IMO has been impeccable). I've never had them make up excuses (none of this crap like "it's obvious you dropped it," or "you attached it to an unsupported/non-certified accessory," or "we can tell you spilled liquid on it at some point") in order to keep my deposit.
But, yeah, even so, being forced into a cross-ship repair/replacement for crappy and overpriced (at $30) earbuds is ridiculous, and definitely not worth the hassle. If I were you, I would call them up again, and try your hand at talking to a different customer support agent to see if you can get an RMA/non-cross-ship repair option. Maybe the one(s) you talked to before (the original and the supervisor) were having a bad day, or maybe you guys both misunderstood each other, or something, but in my experience not only is non-cross-ship an option, it is the default way that Apple sets up "repairs." Cross-ship is a convenience service you *pay extra* for in order to get a shorter turn-around time on your replacement in the event you can't live without it for that long.
If talking to them over the phone again really fails (and I'd be surprised if it did), then stuff the earbuds in a letter envelope, affix a First Class stamp to it, and drop it in the mail to a friend who lives near an Apple Store. I once walked into an Apple Store with an iPod USB sync cable that started coming apart at one end. They handed me a new cable off the retail rack, no questions asked. Didn't even bother to check the serial number of the device it came with to see whether the device itself was still under warranty or not (although I was prepared to give them the appropriate documentation, if asked). I agree that it shouldn't have to come to this, and that you shouldn't have to find an Apple retail store and go there in person in order to get good service. But I also wouldn't leave money sitting there on the table, either, if I had the means and the opportunity.
-- Nathan
