Business Card Critique

[macdon401]

SECOND

Sorry to the OP, but this screams amateur/student. Maybe if your 15 this is fine, just having a business card printed at that age shows ambition, so stick with it and eventually people will stop saying this about your work.

However
Just so your spirit isn't broken, everyone needs to start somewhere, thus I present...my first portfolio from 2003:
http://www.jasondorn.com/version_01/home.html

As you can see, utter crap...eww really...this is bad Ahh back when I had the ambition of a student...and no skills. Kinda wish I could have kept that ambition though, but I digress.

Anyways compare that to http://www.jasondorn.com today's portfolio and you can see I've come along way.

So although this card sucks, and your next 3-4 will probably suck, eventually you will stop sucking. Every designer goes through a bunch of bad work before they get good at this, it's called experience. hmm that sounded really high school guidance counselor, hope some of this makes a point or two.

I respect this post and the improvement over the course of a couple years,
takes guts to do that!
BUT ...experience, no matter how much you aquire, and I guarentee the OP will be working at WalMart in a couple of years and not in the design industry!
I went to art school, with about 30 other people in my class, we worked through 4 years of training, by very good teachers, we all graduated,
and about 5 or 6 of us are now professionals,
that was then...this is now...with the accessabilty of programs like Illustrator and Photoshop you get a huge number of people, no matter what age that want to be artists and designers... and most stink and always will....just because you can goof around with layers and set type does not mean you are a designer or an artist...or ever will be ... it takes TALENT...and with experience TALENT will grow ... but if you don't have any ... well take a look at sites on the Net, YOUTUBE gives a showcase to wanna be Director's ... and 99% of it is crap... PSLover....crap... ArtWorld...crap...some shine through beccause of talent, not programs.
...just my honest thoughts.

 

[technicolor]

I respect this post and the improvement over the course of a couple years,
takes guts to do that!
BUT ...experience, no matter how much you aquire, and I guarentee the OP will be working at WalMart in a couple of years and not in the design industry!
I went to art school, with about 30 other people in my class, we worked through 4 years of training, by very good teachers, we all graduated,
and about 5 or 6 of us are now professionals,
that was then...this is now...with the accessabilty of programs like Illustrator and Photoshop you get a huge number of people, no matter what age that want to be artists and designers... and most stink and always will....just because you can goof around with layers and set type does not mean you are a designer or an artist...or ever will be ... it takes TALENT...and with experience TALENT will grow ... but if you don't have any ... well take a look at sites on the Net, YOUTUBE gives a showcase to wanna be Director's ... and 99% of it is crap... PSLover....crap... ArtWorld...crap...some shine through beccause of talent, not programs.
...just my honest thoughts.

you preach the etruth

 

[shecky]

@macdon

while i agree with some of what you say, having spent some time looking at your work you have posted on here, allow me to say this; your stuff is nothing to shout about either. take it a little easier on the n00b, everyone has to start somewhere. your work does not remotely begin to justify your arrogant and pompous attitude to everyone else who posts on here; its just as trite and clichéd as some of the other stuff i see here.

get over yourself. for your own good.

 

[macdon401]

@macdon

while i agree with some of what you say, having spent some time looking at your work you have posted on here, allow me to say this; your stuff is nothing to shout about either. take it a little easier on the n00b, everyone has to start somewhere. your work does not remotely begin to justify your arrogant and pompous attitude to everyone else who posts on here; its just as trite and clichéd as some of the other stuff i see here.

get over yourself. for your own good.

...Shecky...your entitled to your opinion as I am,
I'd love to see some of YOUR WORK ,as I'm sure others here might.
I make well into the 6 figures per year, as well as Designing, I am an Illustrator and Film Director, my client's include, IBM, IKEA, KFC, Proctor and Gamble, EA, AOL, Miller Beer, Microsoft, to name a few, I am currently the
Art Director of a national magazine and Production Designing 2 Television show's. I have my Degree in Art History and Design from the Ontario College of Art and Design, have won awards from The New Yorks Art Directors Show, The London Art Directors, Seattle Emerald City, La Art Sirectors, Canadian Society of Graphic Designers, The Chicago Mobius Awards, The Bassies of Canada, Marketing Awards of Toronto...I could go on....
what aer you up to....Shecky?
R

 

[Lau]

I have to back up shecky here. Whatever I think of your work, macdon401, I certainly can't agree with your tendency to belittle others and boast about yourself, which reeks of insecurity. The teachers and professionals I have had the most respect for were those who were confident enough in their own work to not feel the need to sneer at the work of those with less experience, and they came across the better for it.

thebiggoose, apologies for doing this in your thread.

 

[macdon401]

I have to back up shecky here. Whatever I think of your work, macdon401, I certainly can't agree with your tendency to belittle others and boast about yourself, which reeks of insecurity. The teachers and professionals I have had the most respect for were those who were confident enough in their own work to not feel the need to sneer at the work of those with less experience, and they came across the better for it.

thebiggoose, apologies for doing this in your thread.

Lau
I have never
belittled" anyone, i do not boast about myself...I am merely stating an opinion
you have one about me as has Shecky, and I respect that,
I may have been a bit hard on this particular topic and If I have offended him, I will apologize, I'm sorry, and by the way,,,,I also volunteer teach one evening a week teaching "anime" to inner city kids to keep them out of gangs
...so please have a little respect for me ...I have only spoken the truth!
R

 

[Lau]

Sorry, but I don't really have any respect for you. I see your posts all too often boasting about your qualifications, belittling those with less experience and becoming hugely defensive about your own work if challenged. If you genuinely don't mean to be boastful and derisive to others, please have a look at how your posts come across (for instance, your posts in this thread — how can you say you don't boast about yourself or belittle anyone?!). I have absolutely no problem with constructive criticism, but I don't see how telling someone who's just starting out (and has the gumption to make his own business card) is going to end up "working at WalMart" is any any way helpful, it's just to make yourself feel like the big man, in my opinion.

Posters in this thread like RedTomato and mkrishan (to randomly select two) have been infinitely more helpful to the thebiggoose whilst managing to be critical.

 

[Allotriophagy]

The Macrumors' forum does seem to attract a fair few fantasists, all pulling in "six figure sums", graduating from "Harvard with degrees in law and neuroscience", generally better than everyone else but completely unable to use apostrophes or treat other people with respect...

Anyway!

Moving on.

How about thebiggoose submits an updated version of the card? Seems like there has been a lot of good ideas and constructive criticism which he can use to improve the card.

 

[shecky]

Whatever I think of your work, macdon401, I certainly can't agree with your tendency to belittle others and boast about yourself, which reeks of insecurity.

quoted for truth.

 

[thebiggoose]

Thank's to most of you for CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM and no thanks to a few of you (other people ahve said your names). Yes, i am 15 years old. I do suck. But, I hope to get better. I will redesign teh carda nd post ito with some suggestions.

 

[Lau]

I look forward to seeing your revised card, thebiggoose, and it sounds like you've got a great attitude. Apologies again for arguing in your thread.

 

[Lau]

By the way, this is a good book full of ideas about business cards:

Business Cards: The Art Of Saying Hello

There's some clever ideas in there, and quite a few that don't necessarily mean full colour or expensive printing, and are inspiring for other projects as well as for your own identity/business card.

 

[macdon401]

Thank's to most of you for CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM and no thanks to a few of you (other people ahve said your names). Yes, i am 15 years old. I do suck. But, I hope to get better. I will redesign teh carda nd post ito with some suggestions.

biggoose
I think this has gone on a bit too long,
and I am to blame, at least partly,
I again apologize to you personally, I didn't realize you were only 15,
but that is not an excuse for being overly harsh in my comments,
and again I am sorry ...
good luck in your business ...
R

 

[vectormasked]

By the way, this is a good book full of ideas about business cards:

Business Cards: The Art Of Saying Hello

There's some clever ideas in there, and quite a few that don't necessarily mean full colour or expensive printing, and are inspiring for other projects as well as for your own identity/business card.

Yes this is book is the ****!! i have the first one and it is a good source of inspiration, however most of the stuff there are just things that people don't use/design/want in real life, which suck coz I'd love to see more interesting stuff our there.

 

[Nym]

What a troubling thread to read...

Although I think that there is a good side to criticism, I guess we all need to be more understanding sometimes, and as some people said here:
"I'm not into design or anything", well, then those are the people who have the most valuable opinions right? Because a good design work is supposed to communicate with the general public (or a specific one in some cases) and not to the "artists" and "designers" that float around this world.

I've studied both Design and Arts and I'm far from considering myself an Artist or a Designer. In fact the greatest Designers I've had as teachers we're always self-aware and humble and avoided those self-entitlements, never criticized harshfully any of my first works, and the funny part is that some of them didn't actually own a college degree, but they had the talent and the "eye" to see how to pass an idea, and that surpasses any School you can get into.

IMO the card is not brilliant, but I've seen a lot worst from people who should know a lot more, believe me... so my guess is... keep going, always remember that your card should communicate who you are and above all what do you want others to think you are, what you've done wrong in the card now, you'll see in a couple of years, people here have already said enough, eheh.
If I made that when I was 15, I'd be happy, congratulations.

 

[Allotriophagy]

Maybe just try something really basic, with your details on it and a little logo.

http://www.degraeve.com/business-cards/ has a very plain generator. And you can print them out and cut them up yourself! Fun for all the family, for sure.

I think they look quite reasonable.

 

[siliconjones]

No, we do not need to be understanding.

Have any of you ever been through a REAL critique. Politeness nor coddling are going to help this young fellow. 15 or not, he can do better. To much bad design is perpetrated on the public. A pirated version of photoshop and an ibook do not a designer make.

Go to the book store and look through some design books. Take a sketch pad. Thumb through a book. Close the book. (Very Important) Thumbnail a possible solution. If the thumbnail spawns other ideas investigate them. Repeat.

Swashes of color, scribbles, paint splatters should never be used: cliche. The same can be said for throwing clouds in the background.

Get some decent fonts. Learn about type. Be able to speak knowlegably about type. Type by far is the most important thing. Small type is good but be mindful of your medium. Remember a business card is a hand held piece. Smallish type yields interactivity/

Learn creative suite. Anything with type should be done in a page layout application. Not photoshop.

Learn about the printing process.

Spend some time and learn your craft before attempting to build a clientele.


NOTE: Not insuinating you are using a pirated Photoshop.

 

[clintob]

i do not boast about myself...
.
.
.
and by the way,,,,I also volunteer teach one evening a week teaching "anime" to inner city kids to keep them out of gangs

Bwahahaha!! Classic.

(1) You've already dug the "look how great I am" hole. Don't compound it by trying to throw some crap on top about how you work with inner city kids. That's tantamount to the idiots who drop racial slurs, get caught, and then say "oh, I'm not racist - I have black friends!" Garbage. You got caught piling up a laundry list of reasons you're great. Learn from it, don't lie about it.

(2) It's a tad pompous to think that teaching inner city kids drawing keeps them out of gangs. It's also a little offensive to assume that just because kids grow up in an inner city that they need something like your art class to keep them out of a gang. Maybe they just have good parents, good teachers, or a solid brain and conscience that are serving them just fine. That's exactly the kind of statement people are talking about in here when they criticize your tone. You might benefit from learning the difference between:

"For the past few years, I was given the opportunity to teach art to inner city children, and it has been an incredible experience."

- versus -

"I also volunteer teach one evening a week teaching "anime" to inner city kids to keep them out of gangs."

Try being a little self-effacing. You'd be surprised how much more receptive people are to what may indeed be the truth if you show a bit of humility.

(3) In regards to the original post...
If you indeed want to get into the design business, everyone had fairly good advice thusfar (get your own domain and email address, don't make up a fake title for your own quasi-company, etc). But the most important piece of advice that's been floated is practice. Design CAN be learned. Look through every design gallery you can - start with the web, then go the boook store, and just look at great design, and look at bad design. Pick up a copy of "The Best of The Best Business Card Design". Copy stuff you think is great. And once you've copied it, copy it again using a different method so you can see the pros and cons to both. Build websites, then tear them down and build them again. Design is as much a product of talent as it is a product of repetition and comfort with the medium and the tools. The more you do it, the better you'll get. And you'll notice, if you browse through even the best designers' portfolios, that we all reuse themes, styles, and ideas more than once. It's part of the game. You'll eventually develop a style all your own, but in the meantime don't ever stop after your first or second draft. Redesign everything 5 or 10 times before putting it away. You'll be better for it.

 

[Sirus The Virus]

I respect this post and the improvement over the course of a couple years,
takes guts to do that!
BUT ...experience, no matter how much you aquire, and I guarentee the OP will be working at WalMart in a couple of years and not in the design industry!
I went to art school, with about 30 other people in my class, we worked through 4 years of training, by very good teachers, we all graduated,
and about 5 or 6 of us are now professionals,
that was then...this is now...with the accessabilty of programs like Illustrator and Photoshop you get a huge number of people, no matter what age that want to be artists and designers... and most stink and always will....just because you can goof around with layers and set type does not mean you are a designer or an artist...or ever will be ... it takes TALENT...and with experience TALENT will grow ... but if you don't have any ... well take a look at sites on the Net, YOUTUBE gives a showcase to wanna be Director's ... and 99% of it is crap... PSLover....crap... ArtWorld...crap...some shine through beccause of talent, not programs.
...just my honest thoughts.

Well said my friend. I know people who have a knowledge of Photoshop, but don't have the talent to put it to good use.

 

[wheezy]

...Shecky...your entitled to your opinion as I am,
I'd love to see some of YOUR WORK ,as I'm sure others here might.
I make well into the 6 figures per year, as well as Designing, I am an Illustrator and Film Director, my client's include, IBM, IKEA, KFC, Proctor and Gamble, EA, AOL, Miller Beer, Microsoft, to name a few, I am currently the
Art Director of a national magazine and Production Designing 2 Television show's. I have my Degree in Art History and Design from the Ontario College of Art and Design, have won awards from The New Yorks Art Directors Show, The London Art Directors, Seattle Emerald City, La Art Sirectors, Canadian Society of Graphic Designers, The Chicago Mobius Awards, The Bassies of Canada, Marketing Awards of Toronto...I could go on....
what aer you up to....Shecky?
R

My dad can beat up your dad. Seriously.

 

[LethalWolfe]

... everyone here is so Politically Correct...
look, your card is awful, everything about it is awful ...
it looks cheap, poorly done, bad taste, no design sense, shall I go on....
and you want people to hire you???

I'm sorry, once again, this forum reeks of bad design...hey...you asked!
R

The posts previous to this one may have been Politically Correct in your opinion, but at least they offered constructive criticism. If this is the same attitude you carry into the classroom then I would say you are more likely to create gang members than future animators. If you think someone's work sucks you could at least tell them why you think it sucks and give suggestions on how they could improve it. For example, your post sucks because all it does is bash the OP's work. Maybe next time you could include some suggestions on what the OP coud do better.


Lethal

 

[harveypooka]

My dad can beat up your dad. Seriously.

Hahahahahah!