Hey Tommy, sorry to hear you've had such a tough time of it recently. Hopefully a New Year will bring with it some better times.
I know how you feel about the Mac Pro. Although not really into 'vintage' things - I prefer new cars with all their mod cons to older vehicles without I am completely taken in by the 5,1 Mac Pro and how its put together and the engineering that went into it.
I showed it to friends of mine who I knew would appreciate good engineering and a couple of them wanted to buy it from me but it's not for sale!
The way I look at it; you have seen the many replies from those who have had experience and although at first it seems overwhelmingly negative for the cMP vs the later machines you will be under no illusion and at least understand the risks involved before you take the plunge.
I would view things such as storage & memory as 'consumables' as they are relatively cheap & easy to replace just by lifting that lovely latch and removing the well engineered side panel so I wouldn't let that influence my decision in any way as the first thing I would do is erase everything on the SSD and start afresh.
Adding memory is easy and although I could have put 128GB RAM in mine I went for the optimum 96GB ECC RDIMM which in reality is way more than I would ever need in any case as the most I have had in a computer is 32GB!
The graphics card although easy to replace is not really a cost-effective upgrade IMHO as prices have shot through the roof but I guess that depends upon which monitor(s) you are going to use with it.
As a stopgap I am running my Quadro NVS 510 into a couple of old Eizo Flexscan 4:3 monitors that I haven't used in years and that can only display 1280x1024 which means I can at least use my cMP until such times as a decent spec, reasonably priced monitor and/or graphics card drops into my lap. But I'm in no rush at the moment as I'm just enjoying using the Mac Pro.
Similar to you there has not been a Mac that Apple has made since
@2012 that I really wanted. Sure a Retina display would have been a welcome upgrade to the machines I have here but the shortage of ports and other design decisions where Jony Ive always seemed to prioritise form over function have held me back and I no longer can afford to buy on a whim these days.
So go ahead and buy whichever one ticks the most boxes for you and enjoy your choice mindful you are dealing with 10 year old technology that has a finite life.
With the help, support & ideas these forums offer you will have every base covered should you want to take it to new heights.
Oh the 2012 would have been my ideal choice as its newer and has the fastest CPU's you can get but of course the 2010 already has NVMe SSD and is closer.
Tough call...let us know whether you took the 4 or 10 hour round trip or went for Option 3!
-=Glyn=-