Critique my Sports Advert

[bluetooth]

Hey, I'm looking for some feedback on this Sports advert for an upcoming Hockey game.

It's my first go at doing anything sports related so keep that in mind. There are 3 versions, colour is slightly different in each one.

ver.1 lightest overall colour and TML logo in bottom left corner.

ver.2 darkest overall, no "glow" above the 2 front players shoulders.

ver3. same darkness overall as ver.2 but added/expanded glow to above 2 front players shoulders.

Would be interested to hear thoughts on design, colours, layout, whatever etc.

Everything is pretty much set BUT I am going back to clean up the paths of the players as I did a quick/sloppy job but wanted to get the layout and colour down first and then go back and fine tune the paths.

Thanks,

 

[thebassoonist]

perhaps their names and numbers could be bold?

 

[bluetooth]

perhaps their names and numbers could be bold?

Thanks, I was thinking that and had them bigger but it was difficult keeping a margin around the edges/sides, but bolding the letters could help without increasing the actual font size (I believe the font is just reg set to "crisp" in PS).

I was kind of aiming for the names to be more of a "fine print" sort of appeal with the players themselves as the main draw and info at the bottom but you make a good point, I will try it among any other suggestions the come. I know they may perhaps be a bit too small/difficult to read (even as intended fine print et.).

 

[dbl.ceo]

Really good

Third one is probably the best... but i agree with above perhaps a different font or style for the names as they seem somewhat tacked on but otherwise top job


Don't spose you could "critique" my post (Opinions on first professional mac video...)

 

[thebassoonist]

Thanks, I was thinking that and had them bigger but it was difficult keeping a margin around the edges/sides, but bolding the letters could help without increasing the actual font size (I believe the font is just reg set to "crisp" in PS).

I was kind of aiming for the names to be more of a "fine print" sort of appeal with the players themselves as the main draw and info at the bottom but you make a good point, I will try it among any other suggestions the come. I know they may perhaps be a bit too small/difficult to read (even as intended fine print et.).

Ah, just a suggestion. It's very sexy...

 

[bluetooth]

Third one is probably the best... but i agree with above perhaps a different font or style for the names as they seem somewhat tacked on but otherwise top job


Don't spose you could "critique" my post (Opinions on first professional mac video...)

Thanks for the words and preference. Yeah, I will be revisiting the players names, duly noted.

I will take a look at your video tomorrow and give you some feedback.

Ah, just a suggestion. It's very sexy...

Thanks.

Which ver. catches your eye the best? I know the colours are only slight variations but would be interested to hear your opinion on your preference. Cheers,

 

[BillyBobBongo]

I've got to say that I prefer the second version the most. The darker colours are much more inviting to look at. The reason I prefer this over the third is that when you increase the glow over the two players you draw the focus to that point on page. With the second version I feel that my eyes are being allowed to flow down the page rather than being asked to reside in one position.

I remember seeing this image when you were having trouble getting the colours right when you saved it as a jpg for web. Back then you didn't have the names of the players in the picture and I've got to admit that I prefered it that way. I ask myself if you're actually adding anything to the advert by adding the names of the players. Were you directed to use specific artwork for the advert or was the choice of artwork an arbitrary decision made on your part?

 

[steviem]

I don't really understand the need for the players' names, I prefer ver one with the plain logo in the bottom corner.

 

[bluetooth]

Everyone has made some valid points and good suggestions. This is why I posted because I was torn between the 3 colours and the names and needed some feedback from some fresh pairs of eyes.

Please let me know your thoughts on the revisions and any new posters please feel free to add your opinions, just refer to them by their title if possible ie. ver 1b or 1c or 1d OR 2b or 2c or 2d et. et. OR if you like the any of the first 3 just list as ver1 or ver2 or ver3.

Personally, I am a little more drawn to the 2 darker variations as I agree that it seems more inviting and you get more of a pop with the front 2 players. I also agree that I like the logo in the bottom left corner on ver1 so I could add that to whatever variation I decide on.

Anyways, please let the comments continue. I will leave you with some revisions based on feedback thus far (I also added a variation with the names) and will check back in at the end of the day to respond. Cheers,



darkest with names bolded




names at side bolded




no names

I've got to say that I prefer the second version the most. The darker colours are much more inviting to look at. The reason I prefer this over the third is that when you increase the glow over the two players you draw the focus to that point on page. With the second version I feel that my eyes are being allowed to flow down the page rather than being asked to reside in one position.

I remember seeing this image when you were having trouble getting the colours right when you saved it as a jpg for web. Back then you didn't have the names of the players in the picture and I've got to admit that I prefered it that way. I ask myself if you're actually adding anything to the advert by adding the names of the players. Were you directed to use specific artwork for the advert or was the choice of artwork an arbitrary decision made on your part?

It was an arbitrary decision made on my own. I added the names for a sense of balance as it felt a little empty in regards to negative space but something didn't really feel right (hence posting for critiques).

Now that I have taken them away again in my latest round of revisions, I see that it makes the overall layout cleaner (which is a positive). Just trying different things but I would tend to agree now that I sit back and look at them, not to mention that there have been some other comments as well regarding that aspect.

 

[Designer Dale]

The names used in the first pair add a bit to it in my opinion, but I don't think the numbers are needed.

The name arrangement in the second pair is too static. The image a has nice dynamic flow and feel of action to it and the neatly justified names clash with that. It produces a hole in the middle, too.

The final set is nice and clean, but I still like some sort of name thing for the players. I'm not a hockey guy, but I assume the players represent key match-ups in the game. That's my rational for designating them with names.

Edit: Perhaps just last names? The Leafs vs Pens thing appeals to hockey fans. Fans of a sport recognize players by name, not number.

Dale

 

[Messy]

Yes this will sound harsh.

You don't do this for a job, do you? You've just essentially copy and pasted a few images onto a generic background, and used some stock effects, right?

 

[sweigner]

Nice Job, I think I like the increased glow without the names. Also can you post one without the white border around Crosby and Kessel? I'm curious to see if they will stand out without the white border.

 

[gameface]

I say no names. The white stroke around the 2 foreground skaters looks like crap especially the left guys upper body and the helmet and shoulders of the right player due to a bad mask. The background player on the left is missing half of his skate blade along with the right players stick blade is square also due to a bad mask. I also want to see the right players other leg, there seems to be no reason to take it away and makes him feel like he is missing something.

so biggest thing... if you don't have an awesome, crisp mask/crop of something a stroke looks horrible

 

[NXTMIKE]

The type's just not right with the player's names/#s. I'd take it out completely (as your latest revision), or put way more emphasis on it, as right now, it just looks 'awkward' the way you've put it sitting beside the players.

edit: or...maybe, have the four names go across the top in all equal size, sort of like a movie poster listing actors?

 

[bluetooth]

Yes this will sound harsh.

You don't do this for a job, do you? You've just essentially copy and pasted a few images onto a generic background, and used some stock effects, right?

No, I personally don't see it that way at all nor do I feel from the majority of responses that anyone else has seen it as such. You are entitled to your own opinion however.

I say no names. The white stroke around the 2 foreground skaters looks like crap especially the left guys upper body and the helmet and shoulders of the right player due to a bad mask. The background player on the left is missing half of his skate blade along with the right players stick blade is square also due to a bad mask. I also want to see the right players other leg, there seems to be no reason to take it away and makes him feel like he is missing something.

so biggest thing... if you don't have an awesome, crisp mask/crop of something a stroke looks horrible

Yeah I know, if you read my initial post I stated that I did the paths quickly and roughly and that I was going back to fine tune them once i had the layout and colour down...I know they are not good as they were a 'quick fix' to piece the layout together. They will be cleaned up very well once I finalize...believe me. The stroke will look a lot cleaner/better once they are edited/fine tuned - you're right. Thanks for the feedback nonetheless.

The type's just not right with the player's names/#s. I'd take it out completely (as your latest revision), or put way more emphasis on it, as right now, it just looks 'awkward' the way you've put it sitting beside the players.

edit: or...maybe, have the four names go across the top in all equal size, sort of like a movie poster listing actors?

Yeah I agree. I think the consensus seems to be no names and I myself am tending to see it that way as well. It is much cleaner imo anyways without the names and I had it that way to begin with but added the names as I felt there was maybe too much negative space up top.

I don't want to title the players names in large letters because it will conflict/compete with the text at the bottom which is what the emphasis is intended to be placed on (the game itself and not the individual players). Hope that make sense.

Thanks for the feedback, I will likely be going without the names so now it is just a matter of choosing between the darker background or the background with the increased glow (choosing between the 2 of my last revisions (1d and 2d).

I will of course, also be cleaning up the paths as I stated in my original post that they were just done quick/roughly to get the layout down. I guess some people missed that part.

The names used in the first pair add a bit to it in my opinion, but I don't think the numbers are needed.

The name arrangement in the second pair is too static. The image a has nice dynamic flow and feel of action to it and the neatly justified names clash with that. It produces a hole in the middle, too.

The final set is nice and clean, but I still like some sort of name thing for the players. I'm not a hockey guy, but I assume the players represent key match-ups in the game. That's my rational for designating them with names.

Edit: Perhaps just last names? The Leafs vs Pens thing appeals to hockey fans. Fans of a sport recognize players by name, not number.

Dale

Thanks for the words Dale. I agree and am going to leave the names out completely. It does look awkward and as stated in a previous response I added the names after the fact because I thought there was a bit too much negative space at the top but looking back on it, it is much cleaner. I also appreciate your comments about the layout having a dynamic flow and feel of action to it, that was my overall objective when searching for the images as well as the subsequent placement of each player in the layout.

You don't know how difficult it is to find pictures/images of two key players on a team in the same colour jersey's (either home or away) that are in action with their whole body in frame and are facing the correct direction and have a look of paralleled intensity. It took some digging!

 

[Dana Beck]

Looks great...without the names

Very sharp layout...looks a bit like something Scott Kelby or Dave Cross would do...and that's a compliment. Definitely lose the names at the top/sides...in fact, I originally thought they were a callout for author comments rather than a part of the design itself. Then I put on my glasses and zoomed in...but they still need to go. Movie-poster-stacked-type title effect would detract from the players.

I, too, like the maple-leaf logo, so I would leave it in...lends an air of authenticity. As for the comment about "just a few masked figures on a stock background," I have only one comment: "sayin' it ain't doin' it." The point is that you want your design to _look_ effortless...not viewed as something that required a bunch of complicated "plowing and hoeing." Your design is professional, focused, and striking.

 

[LeviG]

OK. These are my thoughts and things I would do more than anything but not necessarily essential fixes.

No names obviously, unless theres something that is specifically involving them (say a meet and greet) they're not needed.

The white stroke, I think it's a little too thick, could do with being 2/3rds the current thinkness. Your white player also could do with a bit of tidying up on the cut out - the black one is pretty clean, the white has a few spots which aren't so clean and they're 'blue' so stand out, it's just something thats enough different to bug me.

I'm not 100% keen on the starburst, more personal thing, although it could be done in different colours and used as a 'tie in' if you do more than one poster.

The white faded player could maybe do with being reduced in size a little so the feet levels of the faded players line up, just to give that visual 'floor'. With the postures of the two faded players, the white one actually looks like he would be behind the black one however he's bigger and that doesn't sit right with me.

 

[NXTMIKE]

also...I think Malkin seems to a bit more hidden behind Crosby, then Kaberle. If you look at it for a while, you could see that Kaberle in the background has more of himself showing, than Malkin.

 

[bluetooth]

Very sharp layout...looks a bit like something Scott Kelby or Dave Cross would do...and that's a compliment. Definitely lose the names at the top/sides...in fact, I originally thought they were a callout for author comments rather than a part of the design itself. Then I put on my glasses and zoomed in...but they still need to go. Movie-poster-stacked-type title effect would detract from the players.

I, too, like the maple-leaf logo, so I would leave it in...lends an air of authenticity. As for the comment about "just a few masked figures on a stock background," I have only one comment: "sayin' it ain't doin' it." The point is that you want your design to _look_ effortless...not viewed as something that required a bunch of complicated "plowing and hoeing." Your design is professional, focused, and striking.

Thank a lot for the compliments and words. I agree on the names, definitely going to leave them out, makes for a much more striking (as you put it) and cleaner overall design. Also agree with you on the logo in the bottom left, going to be adding it to the final design, it just gives a more professional polish.

OK. These are my thoughts and things I would do more than anything but not necessarily essential fixes.

No names obviously, unless theres something that is specifically involving them (say a meet and greet) they're not needed.

The white stroke, I think it's a little too thick, could do with being 2/3rds the current thinkness. Your white player also could do with a bit of tidying up on the cut out - the black one is pretty clean, the white has a few spots which aren't so clean and they're 'blue' so stand out, it's just something thats enough different to bug me.

I'm not 100% keen on the starburst, more personal thing, although it could be done in different colours and used as a 'tie in' if you do more than one poster.

The white faded player could maybe do with being reduced in size a little so the feet levels of the faded players line up, just to give that visual 'floor'. With the postures of the two faded players, the white one actually looks like he would be behind the black one however he's bigger and that doesn't sit right with me.

Oh yeah, I totally agree with you on the paths...lol...a few have mentioned it and I know people don't always read initial posts all the way through but I did mention that these paths/cut outs were done quickly and in rough just until I nail the overall layout and colours down, then I will go back and fine tune the paths, so these will be cleaned up and attended to as previously planned. It's just the way I usually work, kinda odd I know.

Point also taken on the stroke, I will play with the level and try reducing some.

The starburst is a little cliche these days...it is used quite a bit but I found it worked well with this layout and sort of enhanced the "pop" of the players. There will likely be more so I am not sure if I am going to do a template and just change the opposition or if I will need to come up with a unique design for each game et. I like to work some of the opposing teams colours into the design (this time being black) while leaving the overall/underlying theme blue for the "home" team in my area (Toronto) where it will be advertised.

Good eye on the white background player, it was a bit difficult due to the positioning of their skates, the black player is moving forward while the white player has his hips and skates positioned laterally so trying to establish a common ground is a bit tricky, but looking at you're right, he does look slightly behind and a bit big for that in terms of perspective. I usually try to go by head/face size when scaling men but the white player is a tad big so I will revise that too.

Thanks to both of you for the words and to everyone else for lending their opinion and constructive criticism.

I am going to clean up the paths, look at reducing the stroke a little, add the maple leaf logo in the left corner and resize the white background player and all should be good. Also clearly, going to leave the names off and go with the darker version in terms of overall colour (ver. 1d).

Cheers all,

/end

 

[Kwill]

Nice layout. I assume the logos are the team colors. If so, is the background being biased towards the blue. A contrasting color would make both logos stand out -- adding another layered dimension. Have you explored alternate color schemes?

P.S. Names are unnecessary if they aren't legible from the average viewing distance.

 

[bluetooth]

also...I think Malkin seems to a bit more hidden behind Crosby, then Kaberle. If you look at it for a while, you could see that Kaberle in the background has more of himself showing, than Malkin.

Yeah, I know but there is not much I can do, I actually already rotated Malkin to a more upright position because he was angled a lot further down due to the positioning of his skates and stride - he is "gliding" on the ice in his image and the white player (kaberle) is standing upright, stationary and not leaning into a stride/glide which is why you can see more of him. Was the only high enough res image of Malkin in a decent enough position in a black uniform that I could get my hands on.

I was aware of this and it bothered me a little as did the fact that you can only see one of Crosby's legs because he is actually about to shoot and has his back leg raised off the ground...again, majority of people may not catch it or may realize his foot is up for a shot but not much I can do.

I think overall I can get away with these minor details, but nonetheless, good eye for catching them because they were issues I had already tried to address, hence rotating Malkin up quite a bit (CCW).

Nice layout. I assume the logos are the team colors. If so, is the background being biased towards the blue. A contrasting color would make both logos stand out -- adding another layered dimension. Have you explored alternate color schemes?

Thanks for the compliment. The ad is intentionally bias as it is to be run in the Toronto market which is the home city of the blue and white team. I added the black boarder with a fade to try and darken the ad enough to tie in some of the colours of the black team (Pittsburgh) but wanted to leave it subtle as it is geared towards the Toronto market and "Maple Leafs" fans.

I actually had it more blue/vibrant to begin with but darkened things a bit with the intention of tying in the black some.

 

[bluetooth]

n/t

 

[jocab64]

I like the layout and think you're close; a few nit picky details stick out after reading your last post. You said it was geared toward the Toronto market, which makes the color choices obvious, however, in recent years the NHL has switched from having the home team in white, to having the home team in their darker sweaters (in the case of the Maple Leafs, blue) Is this game actually in Toronto? If this is the case, you might consider having the home team in their correct (blue) jerseys and switching the order of the team names. It is customary to list the home team at the bottom if arranged vertically or at the end if arranged horizontally.

I realize these comments may effect the entire layout, but take it for what it's worth.

Oh course this is all null and void if the game is in Pittsburgh.

 

[Chip NoVaMac]

Nothing like last minute ads... been there done that.. Being so late in the game hope that comments here have helped out. Details like the color of the jerseys do matter to some fans for home games.

I myself liked the image early on with the Maple Leaf logo in the lower right....

 

[Fa7mac]

its cool but I think you forgot the reflection of the player in black with no opacity applied, his opponent has reflection of his feet? shoes? (I know nothing about hockey but their symbols are to close together and too "up", perhaps put a "VS" symbol between them or something that represents a [this "versus" that] thing?
overal I think the player are very well composed and also the background is nice. Good job mister