Hells teeth man I know I am not unique. After 30 years of image capturing on film and digital my needs are not 'esoteric' or complex, or even ignorant.
But to be as helpful as I can, I suppose my ideal would look and work the follows.
Raw reader - as in Adobe style with image quality of C1.
*Referenced filing system as in Aperture.
Manipulating by Adobe (happy at CS5 level).
*Storage and export simple and fast.
*Photomechanic pretty good.
Trying other software I am doing all the time in hope of solving my own predicament. But I doubt I will ever write here on anywhere my thoughts on each. I don't think my opinion is worth it other than to me. Your views on any named piece of software is what I am seeking; so that eventually my views will sometime combine with your/others and a decision will end, finally. It is tough doing it this way.
Regards
Sharkey
DAM
Photo Mechanic: you're a high volume shooter. If you cull big time, its fast. Can't handle PDF's. DAM beyond the browser is nothing special and Lightroom/Aperture are much better. If you edit in it its dreadfully slow and you will fill your drive with sidecars (perhaps can be turned off). With 35,000 images it was a bit unstable on my 3.0 i7 rMBP + 16gb. Don't know if it was the app or my limited resources.
Graphic Converter: slower than PM but handles more file types and uses Apple Raw for conversions. Not in vogue but I'd take it over PM. Now appears stable as I use it when I want to just browse my 35,000 image library. May not be able to send a raw file to an external develop app. If you're satisfied with Apple renders, just export a PSD to PS and do ALL your editing there.
Bridge: not particularly stable once you load 25,000+ images in it and a resource hog, though you have a lot of compute power. Not sure about file types. Lightroom cannot handle PDF's or some video formats, may be the same with Bridge. Summons ACR for raw edits -- same as Lightroom but not as pretty. Integrates/works well with ACR and PS. Too many crashes for me. Always came back fine.
C1: v8 is more stable but it's no Lightroom. Metadata handling is inefficient. Lacks DAM tools and polish compared to LR or Aperture. You know the rest. I use it in Sessions along with LR. I have an export preset that sends the raw to C1, export a tiff back to LR. Not something you want to do with every image.
Dedicated data base apps: can only speak for Photo Supreme used with C1 and I noted my experience in an earlier thread. I don't like not being able to view edited raws in my preview grid. Approximates C1 but do not believe it will approximate any others. When you're looking for a B&W raw version and see only color versions it gets tedious. I believe this is consistent with other data base apps as well.
Develop
As I said above, I find Adobe fine for D800 files. If you preferred C1 it's because the initial render is closer to a finished product. As is Apple's built in converter. If you want better than Adobe, its basically Iridient, C1 or Apple. Perhaps Photo Ninja, I never used it with my D800. The downside is you're now dealing in a tif (perhaps PSD) workflow. So disk space will get eaten up fast if an average shoot for you is 25gb. After culling, I shoot that in a year. And for 3 years now have culled more old garbage than I've added with new. Running SSD internal and external gives a new meaning to culling.
There are a ton of freeware or low cost apps. Most use DCRAW as their converter. They have a devoted user base. I've looked at a few and, as budget is not an issue, felt none of them stood up to Aperture, my baseline at the time. Fuji XTrans was part of the issue, limited tool sets the other.
Integrated
Lightroom is excellent DAM, stable, reasonably fast except imports. Easy to learn. Superb DAM tools everywhere you look. Weaknesses: conversions are not the greatest when it comes to detail, renders a flat image that needs work, a few develop tools could be better.(shadow recovery, NR is heavy handed, sharpening is better in PS). Though I find the DeHaze tool a wonder and it's now the first tool I go to after getting exposure dialed in (3rd party plugin as I have the standalone version).
There's DXO and Nikon's NX, not enough experience there to render an opinion. I'd agree with your decision not to use C1 for both DAM and Develop.
There are legions of us who looked for an alternative to Lightroom. Most of us failed. If you shot Fuji XTrans or some of the new Sony's (there's a reason why Sony includes a $30 offer for C1) you'd have a lot more compelling reasons for seeking a life without Lightroom. But you don't shoot Fuji or an A7. The 3 people I know who shoot D800/810's all use Lightroom and nothing else. They are happy with it and shoot anywhere from 20,000 to 150,000 images per year. One has established a very successful pro photo business with perhaps half his customers being critical people in the visual arts field.
My concern is you're being penny wise and dollar foolish. Sell a lens. If you're like me, you have a drawer full of glass you can't part with but never use.