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Does age matter in dating?

maestro55

maestro55

macrumors 68030
Original poster
Nov 13, 2005
2,708
0
Goat Farm in Meridian, TX
So here is the thing, I have never cared about age when dating, but then again with my three girlfriends the oldest was two years older and the youngest was just a year and some odd months younger. Recently I did something new and tried match.com within hours of joining I got an email from a 24 year old about to turn 25. Well I replied and she said that age didn't really matter to her and so tonight we went out (by the way I am 19, so she is 5 years and one month older than me). It was pretty amazing and we are going to go out again Thursday when I get off work. The only person that said something about age was a friend of hers though perhaps joking, though Vanessa (the girl I went out with) did say she probably shouldn't be going out with a younger guy because apparently the last guy she dated was 20 and things didn't work out. I don't believe age really matters in this situation, I mean the only issue is if we went to a bar I couldn't drink alcohol (something she said tonight after we caught a movie and was heading back to her place she said "well, I would say we could go to a bar but you can't drink so that wouldn't be fair") and I would hate to spoil her fun by being underage (though if she wanted to really go drink I have no problem with drinking club soda).

So I am ranting as I am happy, tired, and trying to wonder if things are going to work out. So tell me, who was the youngest guy/girl you have dated or the oldest. Tell me if you are married to an older/younger person (not that I am worried about marriage I am just curious).
 
When you're very young (early teens) age matters a lot because of developmental differences. I believe that once those differences equal out between everyone, age doesn't really matter (within reason, 15 or 20+ years is likely noticeable :D) unless you want it to. Some people are more attracted to older men/women, some the opposite.

The youngest girl I've dated was about two years younger than me, but for me that's sort of "my limit" since I'm still in high school (and 18 now, not then).
 
I'm 20. I've dated 6 years above my own age. I don't think that it's all that important if you're on the same level emotionally- If she's 'ready to settle down' etc and you're not, then obviously there's a problem there; but if you have common goals and similar timeframes in which to achieve them...you're all set.
 
When I was 18 I met this beautiful girl accidentally.

Actually she was broke down on the side of the road with a flat tire. It was in town so it was not like she was in any major trouble, but I was a young soldier and eager to assist. Once I had her tire changed and she thanked me, I said " if you really wanna thank me, let me take you dancing. " I was shocked that she agreed. Well we dated for about a month before I found out her age. It turned out the "girl" was a woman 18 years older than I. :eek:

How could age have mattered if I did not know her age. Of course the way things are today, if I was 18 or older I would demand proof of a girls age.

Married? Yes I eventually married, but not until I was 31 and married a girl the same age as I.

EDIT: I am 51 now - married 20 great years - 3 great children !!!!
 
It matters more in a relationship... not so much for "dating".

For instance, in your case maestro, why would you want to have a relationship with this girl when you're 24? Sure you can date and have a good time... but I'm just asking you, why would you want to have a relationship with a 24 year old?
 
Realistically, I think it matters, but only if your internal clocks are out of whack. If you both want children in 8 years, and you both want to get married in 5-10 years, etc, then I don't think it matters. However, this isn't usually the case.

I would never be in a relationship with someone who was 18 or 19 now, and I'm 27. I think 21 or 22 and up is good. I'm going to be completely finished with university soon, so if I was with a 21 or 22 year old who was finishing up soon, or was just planning to go into Graduate school, then perfect.

Anyway, I'm dating someone now, so I don't need to worry about such things. She's 2 years younger.
 
I'm in my 30s.
Was just in a relationship with a girl 5 years younger than me. (that's the youngest, I think) I was 30 while she was 25.

Dated a woman several years back that was 13 years older than me (that's the oldest) I was 26, while she was pushing 40. That was awkward. Mostly because her oldest kid was 21. :eek: (and she was cute)
I rapidly exited that situation once I started realizing how odd it was.
 
Well I am 25 and my boyfriend is 46 and I think is not about age,it is more about what you have in common with the person,I also dated a younger guy (4 years younger) and it did't work,I love the relationship I have now because he is mature,he knows what he wants and we have a lot of things in common and I see the diferences like a plus because I learn a lot from him and I have never been happier in my life.
 
Abstract said:
Realistically, I think it matters, but only if your internal clocks are out of whack. If you both want children in 8 years, and you both want to get married in 5-10 years, etc, then I don't think it matters. However, this isn't usually the case.

I would never be in a relationship with someone who was 18 or 19 now, and I'm 27. I think 21 or 22 and up is good. I'm going to be completely finished with university soon, so if I was with a 21 or 22 year old who was finishing up soon, or was just planning to go into Graduate school, then perfect.

Anyway, I'm dating someone now, so I don't need to worry about such things. She's 2 years younger.
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I also believe this to be the case. I was in a year long relationship with someone 4 years younger than me (not a HUGE gap) and it eventually broke down not directly because of the age gap but because we were just at such different stages in life (because of our ages).
 
I don't think age matters a lot unless you are extremely young dating someone significantly older (I'd say 8+ years).

My fiancee is 5 years older than I, but we are both in our 30's.
 
Perhaps 6 year age difference doesn't matter, but the "within hours of signing up for Match.com" aspect screams something...
 
it depends on the ppl and if they are emotionally mature. dating is fine, but it could be an issue later if it develops into a relationship and you end up having different goals, but usually, that's hammered out in dating :)

for now, I say, fuggataboutit and have fun :)
 
Doesn't matter one bit, as long as you have stacks of cash.

hugh-hefner-plastic-surgery.jpg
 
Well if you are planning on marrying someone I have always held the belief that the woman should be about 5 years older then the man if you figure in life expectancy.
 
Honestly I wouldn't date someone who couldn't order a beer or something. Not that drinking is the biggest part of my life but I would want the guy to be at least 21.

However, I know some men in their 40's who are emotionally unavailable and downright confused. I know others in their late 30's who are unable to be mature about things. I know some in their 20's who clearly have a grasp on life. Age is definitely a number but when it comes down to going out and having fun I'd hate that number to become a restriction.

Really this is all up to you. While you can gather opinions and such if the girl is great then the girl is great. That shouldn't change one bit based on the answers you get here. At least you know she is not a man on match.com!
 
Age is really not that important as you go through life.

More important items are the person's character, goals, and your compatibility with them. If the relationship is based upon sex, it will fail regardless of the ages involved. Eventually the sex will become old, and the blinders come off.

FWIW, there are many happy marriages where the wife is older than the husband by 5-10 years. Likewise, there are many happy marriages where the wife is younger by that same amount. Age really doesn't matter compared to other aspects of a relationship.
 
interesting thread, i've been thinking about the same lately. like some have mentioned, age gap doesn't seem to be a huge concern as long as there's common ground. for example, my aunt seems to be happily married to my uncle who's 10 yrs older than her. my roommie is engaged to someone that is 5-6 yrs older than him. one of my HS friends called me the other day and told me that his new BF is almost 15 yrs older than my friend. i think (a big) part of it has to do with the whole mentor/maturity thing, but who cares as long as the two are into each other.

right now, i'd say my comfort zone is about +5 / -2 years. but the range can definitely vary as long as the other person and i are on the same level in terms of maturity and activeness.
 
When I was 24 I dated a 30 year old. After we broke up I dated an 18 year old. Then at 26 I dated an 18 year old. But after we broke up I dated a 31 year old. Only the relationship with the 31 year old ended because of age. I also briefly dated a 22 year old when I was 33 and that wasn't weird at all. But I ended up marrying someone 3 weeks younger than me. So no it doesn't matter unless you let it.

CanadaRAM said:
Mrs. RAM is more than 5 years older... we met 20 years ago next month, still goin' stong.
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Do you call her Mrs. RAM. And is she turned on by that. ;)
 
I think it matters to a degree.

The biggest thing is the stage in life both parties are at need to line up. Now the lines between stages are blurred while people go though changes in life. Which is why most of the time something that is strong in College will be fine while one finishes and the other is moving on to working. Still strains relationship a lot though.

For example some one in college part of there life is not going to go very well with some one in the working world and separated from that college life.
 
Fiveos22 said:
Perhaps 6 year age difference doesn't matter, but the "within hours of signing up for Match.com" aspect screams something...
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Well, not really. I mean I signed up and if she was browsing right as my profile appeared and was interested. Also I think with the matches by mail it might email when people sign up who their computers think are matches since I have gotten two emails so far showing people who their computers think would be good matches. Some people don't like the idea of match.com and other sites I think that the tools provided are amazing and make for easy/quick matching. There are may guys like myself that could never have done the same thing in a bar.

Honestly I wouldn't date someone who couldn't order a beer or something. Not that drinking is the biggest part of my life but I would want the guy to be at least 21.
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I can certainly understand your point, sadly for me the other ladies I meet who are under 21 do not attract me.

As for stages of our lives, we both do not want kids (people tell me all the time that I am 19 and I will want kids someday, but she is nearly 25 and doesn't want kids). She is planning to go back to school and finish a liberal arts degree, I am currently finishing up a degree in computer networking so we are close there. Neither of us are settled now.
 
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