Dumbest Mac Mini Review Ever!

[mvelinder]

"My first impression: Somewhat bulkier than the earlier G4 models, but that’s a small price to pay for 64-bit G5 power. The Powerbook G5 will definitely be another hit for Apple."

Pretty funny spoof actually...

 

[iSee]

Rotfl

This is really well done! At first I didn't realize that it's a joke. By the end I coudn't stop laughing. This is classic:

When I consider that a good deal of my time is spent running applications like Disk Defragmenter, Scandisk, Norton AV, Windows Update and Ad-Aware--none of which are available for the Mac platform--it doesn't make sense for me to "switch" to a Mac at this time.

or the "equally stylish eMachine... with the added benefit of being able to run Windows XP."

 

[spencecb]

This kid is a real retard, if you go to the home page there is a picture of him. He looks young, any how I emailed him this response

I just read your article found at

http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/MacMini2.html

first item I thought was very wrong

"While the hardware is about roughly equivalent to a Windows PC circa 1995".

What windows computer back in 1995, came even close to a PowerPC 7455, which has 128 BIT vector processor on board.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that the Mini has no PCI slots either? And no floppy disk drive? Well, no wonder they got the unit to be so small. No keyboard or mouse either. Sorry, Kayla, daddy’s got to make another trip to Best Buy before you can play with your new computer."

Firstly don't need PC, is a complete solution, what PCI card were you wanting to put in it? or any other $500 computer market for low entry. The keyboard and mouse is not include because this system is designed to sell to people who already have those items.

"...I could get a Mac mini computer for $499 and have no keyboard or mouse, no serial ports, no way to connect a printer, no PS/2 ports, no floppy drive, no 5.25" bays, no PCI slots, no speakers, and no Windows XP..."

There is no PS/2 and hello, every heard os USB, it means universal Serial Bus, that where you plus your printer, mouse, keyboard, and if you want an external floppy. The Dell computer we have now in the US Army have no floppy drive anymore since most people use USB flash stick or thumb drives. Dell printers are USB, same with mouse and keyboard

No windows XP because it runs Mac OS X, a clearly more advance robust operating system. My guess you don't know much about different OSes.

"Back in the lab, we were able to borrow a USB keyboard and mouse from a Tangerine iMac collecting dust in the closet and get the darn Mini booted up at last. This is where the first noticeable problem with Apple design arises. While there is a Mac-style “donnnnggggg” when the Mini is first turned on, during normal operation the unit makes no sound whatsoever. This could make it very difficult for a novice user to know whether or not the computer is on. In fact, it took our techs about fifteen minutes before we realized the unit itself was operating normally and it was the monitor that was not plugged in properly. It turns out the Mini uses a weird kind of display connector on the back that requires a special adapter if you want to plug it into a PC monitor. We used a 15” Compaq VGA display."

you guys are not smart, does not matter if it is a Mini or a Windows PC, you need to plug a monitor into it.

"The Mini has got some built-in software for basic computer functions, but it can’t do many common things as well as its grown-up brothers in the Windows world can. The little things can add up to big frustration for someone who might accidentally buy a Mini expecting it to be just like Windows. For example, there is no Outlook Express for email, but Apple includes a program called Mail, which is like a stripped-down email client that can’t execute scripts or open attachments without user intervention. Personally I find it annoying, but if someone doesn’t depend on emailing their coworkers vbscripts like I do, they might be able to get by with it. Secondly and possibly even more glaringly, there is no antivirus program shipped with the Mac. In today’s climate of non-stop worms, trojans and viruses, releasing a computer with no virus removal software is irresponsible on the part of Apple. The OS X comes with some system maintenance utilities, but essentials such as a defragmenter or a registry cleaner are notably absent. I would expect a Mini to get really slow and unstable within a couple months if you can’t perform any routine maintenance tasks on it."

Well lets look at the software, windows XP does not come with anything out of the box or those cheap PC, that has anything like iLife, the program to create web pages, music with garageband, do HD movie editing with social effects, DVD burner software to make those DVD menus. and the best part all this are integrated with one another, so you have access to multimedia in each application. Don't forget iTunes.

Outlook express is not that great. The mail clients is designed for imap, pop3 and hello what's this Microsoft exchange support.

Don't need defrag is the disk OS can manage the drive better. plus there are freeware available for people who really want to waste that time. This is a UNIX OS not a windows.

no registry cleaner needed, does not have a registry, Microsoft biggest mistake was the registry, a poor design, and clearly has mad it is for viruses.

"To see how much industry support the Mac platform has these days, I did a google to see if there were Mac versions of any of my favorite applications; unfortunately I ended up disappointed every time. There are very few first-person shooters for OSX. There is no Mac version of WeatherBug to check the temperature anywhere in the world. Nor is there a Mac version of helpful web and email enhancers like Hotbar. Or any equivalent of the DealHelper software I use to keep track of my passwords. My Office 2003 CD would not install, despite claims I had heard from Mac fanboys that OS X is compatible with Office. Heck, the Internet Explorer icon isn’t even out on the taskbar by default, it’s buried in the c:\applications folder. "

You must not be to bright, I guess you could not install office 2003 on this device because it runs on Windows with intel processor, but you could install Office 2004 for Mac from Microsoft, which is newer and very better than it's windows version. All apple programs are scriptable using apple script.

There is a weather tacking feature it under the dashboard and is very easy to use.

I will agree the game choices are not as many, nor do the games get released in the same time frame.

Does not need explore on the task bar it has safari instead and there is no c: drive it a unix file system, also same with linux, the root top of the drive is /.

$1600 what crap are you putting on. I can have a wireless keyboard mouse using bluetooth, bose speakers, and a nice Dell 19" flat panel for $1250 with this Mac mini. There are not many virus out there for the Mac and because of it unix frame it does not have as many security holes as Windows. Believe me I am a systems Admin for the US Army currently, and they are Super Serious about security.

Well you should go to a real school and learn about the technology. You don't seem very well educated on computers. I have a degree in Micro Electronics processor design, 11 years software engineering experience. Have work on cell phones, routers, Internet servers, real time control systems to make chemicals. I have programed Windows, Linux, Unix(different flavors), and Mac OS X.

so before you try to school the world school yourself.

What a terrible response.

 

[munkees]

spencecb you don't have to rub it in. Man, I was got, and was to blind and pissed at the report, I had too. SORRY....I feel really dumb OK

 

[frankblundt]

spencecb you don't have to rub it in. Man, I was got, and was to blind and pissed at the report, I had too. SORRY....I feel really dumb OK

it's ok, you're ok.
Peter Jackson managed to do much the same thing to our entire nation with the film "Forgotten Silver". Responses were equally divided (once the truth came out) between those big enough to laugh about it and those who still hold a grudge at the impertinence of it all to this day.

I'd be interested to know what response you got tho

 

[generik]

Look closely, that guy is a "MCSE", Microsoft Certified Software Engineer", what an oxymoron! At best he is qualified to build buggy systems like they did with their own OS!

And look at how he beats on Safari for failing to render MSN properly, wow, that's truly amusing.

Last word, if your own livelihood depends on Microsoft products would you beat on your own crap?

 

[Daedalus256]

Look closely, that guy is a "MCSE", Microsoft Certified Software Engineer", what an oxymoron! At best he is qualified to build buggy systems like they did with their own OS!

And look at how he beats on Safari for failing to render MSN properly, wow, that's truly amusing.

Last word, if your own livelihood depends on Microsoft products would you beat on your own crap?

Did you even read the thread?

 

[iPhil]

Gotta love this snippet:

...I could get a Mac mini computer for $499 and have no keyboard or mouse, no serial ports, no way to connect a printer, no PS/2 ports, no floppy drive, no 5.25" bays, no PCI slots, no speakers, and no Windows XP...

 

[macrants]

To see how much industry support the Mac platform has these days, I did a google to see if there were Mac versions of any of my favorite applications; unfortunately I ended up disappointed every time. There are very few first-person shooters for OSX. There is no Mac version of WeatherBug to check the temperature anywhere in the world. Nor is there a Mac version of helpful web and email enhancers like Hotbar. Or any equivalent of the DealHelper software I use to keep track of my passwords. My Office 2003 CD would not install, despite claims I had heard from Mac fanboys that OS X is compatible with Office.

That is HILARIOUS. No Weatherbug, Hotbar, DealHelper? That is where I realized this was an awesome joke. He couldn't get his beloved spyware on the Mac Mini, nor the Windows version of Office! I love this. Subtle, informed humor that is lost on the sub-80-IQ people out there.

EDIT: I am MCSE, Microsoft Certified SYSTEMS Engineer... Another joke!

 

[generik]

Did you even read the thread?

Yikes!

 

[corywoolf]

That is HILARIOUS. No Weatherbug, Hotbar, DealHelper? That is where I realized this was an awesome joke. He couldn't get his beloved spyware on the Mac Mini, nor the Windows version of Office! I love this. Subtle, informed humor that is lost on the sub-80-IQ people out there.

EDIT: I am MCSE, Microsoft Certified SYSTEMS Engineer... Another joke!

I guess that makes me sub 80 IQ

Guess I got dumber since I took an IQ test a couple years ago and scored 119.

 

[p0intblank]

This is a joke?! Okay, seriously, I just e-mailed the author of that review and set him straight. I went as far as saying to find a new hobby if you can't handle reviewing a product like the Mac mini.

Ugh... I feel so stupid! I also feel really bad now... but I guess he'll be laughing at me when he reads my e-mail. I demanded he talk to me too, whether it be via e-mail or AIM.

I hate you guys!!!!!!!!

 

[macaddicted]

This is classic:

By leaving out a USB keyboard and monitor, two things you may already have if you have an old Mac, Apple can shave some money off the price of its system components and the size and weight of its packaging. By using cheap Asian labor to assemble the units, costs have been reduced even further. I would like to see them continue this trend, possibly strike a deal with China to use inmates to assemble the Mini for even less, like Lenovo does.

The coup de grace:

Jorge Lopez is a DeVry graduate with an MCSE certification and is currently the Chief Software Reviewer at Divisiontwo.com's Technology Insider.

 

[Counterfit]

THIS IS SATIRE!
Not sarcasm. There's a world of difference between the two.

 

[jadekitty24]

This thread is another shining example of "When Jokes Go Wrong".

 

[MacSA]

People might realise it wasn't a serious article if it was even remotely amusing - which it is not.

 

[bigandy]

wow, that writer sounds like a complete windows freek and mac looser

your typical mcse bloke, really

 

[TEG]

I just threw up in my mouth a little.™

Funny, and exactly the arguments that get thrown at be daily.

TEG

 

[Yvan256]

It is quite old, rabble rouser appears to have stirred an emotion from the OP. Stories like this can not be taken seriously and are a poor attempt at being humors.

I see it as excellent humor, for two points:
- the guy keeps saying the same old tired nonsense reasons that Windows users keep bringing up for not switching (which are pointless most of the time)
- the guy pushes these reasons so far that it's hilarious if you know what he's talking about ("Poor standards compliance: Apple's Safari web browser often fails to render MSN properly." - when we all know that it's MSN that has extremely poor standards compliance and even sends garbage to non-MSIE browsers in some instances).

If you don't see it as humor, though, it can seem like a very Apple-bashing review...

 

[Yvan256]

THIS IS SATIRE!
Not sarcasm. There's a world of difference between the two.

Satire or sarcasm, it's meant as humor. But it seems that a lot of people here took this review very seriously and are offensed by it.

I like bashing Microsoft fanboys as much as anyone, but no Microsoft fanboy is this biaised. At least I hope so.

(edit: I can't splel)

 

[plinden]

Satire or sarcasm, it's meant as humor. But it seems that a lot of people here took this review very seriously and are offensed by it.

I like bashing Microsoft fanboys as much as anyone, but no Microsoft fanboy is this biaised. At least I hope so.

They are, but that's why this fooled so many people.

However, it does become clear it's satire as you read it ... my thoughts went like, "this guys is nuts", "who said it was the size of a stick of gum?", "silence is a problem?", "e-machines? Stylish?", "Oh, Weatherbug, Hotbar and DealHelper ... this is satire". Then I laughed out loud. At his other article too.

 

[Carson]

wow I can't belive so many of you fell for that.
heres another for you too laugh at (hopfully) http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm this. Windows versus lunix. So many other funny ass computer satire have come out of this guy.

"As I am sitting here writing this column, my computer is busily defragging my hard drive, running my virus scanner, and I'm being shown a list of all the latest MS security patches that are being remotely installed on my machine today. Why doesn't Linux come with any defragmenting tools or virus scanners or Active Backdoor Update like you get with Windows? These are all must-have features for me. Linux is seriously lacking in Internet utilities as well. No way would I run a Linux operating system if it means I can't connect to America Online. Also, where is Microsoft Office for Linux, Windows Media Player for Linux and Outlook Express for Linux? Nowhere to be found. If I can't type a letter, make a spreadsheet, or email anyone with Linux, why on earth would I ever put it on my desktop?"

Defraging tools, virus scanners. YOU DON'T NEED THEM thats the whole point. He's making FUN of all the PC fans out there that dog on OS X and lunix. I feel bad for all you guys that emailed him. That review was making fun of the other guys. Not you. I'm sure that he will follow up, on a "mac lover hatemail" post

For some more Apple satire, I suggest RedvsBlue and the mac gamer swich spoof.

 

[Krevnik]

The coup de grace:

The only insulting part about the article that I found was the DeVry comment. Because, you know... occasionally people /do/ graduate with an education out of that place.

 

[plinden]

Those of you who enjoy photos of the MBP being revealed might be interested in this article that I reached while reading others on the divisiontwo website.

 

[rebhaf]

People might realise it wasn't a serious article if it was even remotely amusing - which it is not.

It's funny because it's written so seriously, yet he goes off on these hilarious tangents, like no longer being able to use an application to manage all his passwords. And complaining that his MS Office doesn't work on it (as if it would run on his old Power Mac). It reminds me of the way they write in The Onion -- lots of serious-sounding tone and style, mixed with just enough off-the-wall parody to get you crackin' up.