Just thought I'd update this thread and put it to rest.
I drove 6 hours to the nearest apple store and had them take a look at it. The guy asked if tried to restore and/or set it up as a new phone. Since I did both of those (plus a million other things), thats all he really needed to hear. He didn't plug it in look at it really, other then the serial number.
He mentioned about me trying to restore it as a new phone basically wipes all the data off there, which was my biggest concern. I didn't want them to look at it later and figure out it was jailbroken, so thats nice.
Anyways, thanks to everyone who tried to help me. That thing was as dead as a rock and was a certified paperweight.