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So, I made an effort and ordered a 16-inch MacBook Pro back in January 2020 to my brother-in-law in Florida. Me and my wife had tickets to come 2 months later from Europe and was planning to pick it up then. Covid came and everything was put on hold, our flights got cancelled, then a whole pandemic year passed, and now we finally managed to get here for a family event. The MacBook was waiting for me in the box.

After a year, I was extremely eager to turn it on. Only it didn't turn on. Ok, let's charge it. Except it didn't. Just the battery and flash appeared on the screen, which I thought was good, left it overnight, found it in the same state in the morning. Tried multiple outlets and chargers and cables during the day, still not actually charging. Spoke to Apple support, tried all kinds of keyboard combinations, then went to an Apple store, where a rude manager bluntly said that, since the 1 year of warranty has passed, we needed to pay $700 or maybe just $200, if it's just the battery, but there was no guarantee. He didn't try to run any diagnostic or anything. He was just blaming me that I didn't notice the problem sooner. I couldn't, being on another continent, could I? Nor did I have any reason to suspect that a $2k Apple product might be dead on arrival. I understand a year passed and I didn't have an extended warranty, but how was I supposed to know I need it, before Covid? I paid $2200 for a product that doesn't even turn on and I honestly don't think I am to blame for it not working. Don't think it's just the battery, either.
What am I supposed to do with this really expensive brick?

P.S.: Typing this from my wife's $400 Lenovo, which was ordered at the same time with the MacBook, stayed for a year in the box, until yesterday, then charged, turned on and now works just fine... Kind of liking it, too. Certainly a lot more useful than mine.
After 10 years of Apple and 2 previous MacBook Pros which eventually needed battery replacements, I am extremely disappointed.
Go back to a different apple store and ask for an exception for a return/exchange. It's up to the manager, but if you plead your case you have a good chance.
 
Unfortunately this isn't a rare problem on Macs that have T2 chips in them, but it seems especially problematic on 16" models that sit around for a long time and fully discharge. The T2 is never fully off so the battery will deeply discharge. Replacing the battery will solve the problem but Apple should be able to resolve it without changing any parts.
 
Just an FYI that might be relevant, the Apple custserv reps that you talk to when you call their support # actually have a greater ability to override protocol and replace devices that they don't have to replace than the in-store reps (the higher-level phone reps, at least).
 
If it's worth anything, my 2019 16" MBP was the #1 worst laptop I had ever purchased.

After 2 years, the battery is at 82% and the limited charge it holds is abysmal.

Runs so hot that you can't put it on your lap or else it will burn you. I have to use a cooling fan underneath.

Then the apps take forever to open and the fans spin up for any light web browsing.

Replaced it with an M1 Mini and love it.
Now I am expecting the new M1 iMac next week!
 
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It's unfortunate what you are going through, but I don't believe it is Apple that needs to be blamed on this one: There are plenty of support documents stating how a device with lithium-ion batteries should be "stored" for an extended period of time. Lithium-ion batteries are not specific to Apple devices, they are industry wide. These are not top secret documents. They are available to public. Having a lithium-ion battery sit untouched for over a year does have some consequences regarding the technology involved.
I mean, if you had not started your vehicle in over a year and had to get a "jump start" to have it up and running; would you blame the manufacturer? I don't think so. Same thing applies here - the battery technology involved cannot simply accommodate ALL of the scenarios out there - I personally do not know anyone that would purchase an expensive piece of technology and have it sit aside unused for over a year - it's quite extraordinary.
Having said that, this is what I would try: Calling Apple Care, giving them your side of the story, and hopefully running into someone that is willing to bend the rules and/or reach out to a senior advisor on your behalf to get you taken care of with the $199 battery replacement project. Likewise, as some others have already said, trying another Apple Store would also be an option.
 
So, I made an effort and ordered a 16-inch MacBook Pro back in January 2020 to my brother-in-law in Florida. Me and my wife had tickets to come 2 months later from Europe and was planning to pick it up then. Covid came and everything was put on hold, our flights got cancelled, then a whole pandemic year passed, and now we finally managed to get here for a family event. The MacBook was waiting for me in the box.

After a year, I was extremely eager to turn it on. Only it didn't turn on. Ok, let's charge it. Except it didn't. Just the battery and flash appeared on the screen, which I thought was good, left it overnight, found it in the same state in the morning. Tried multiple outlets and chargers and cables during the day, still not actually charging. Spoke to Apple support, tried all kinds of keyboard combinations, then went to an Apple store, where a rude manager bluntly said that, since the 1 year of warranty has passed, we needed to pay $700 or maybe just $200, if it's just the battery, but there was no guarantee. He didn't try to run any diagnostic or anything. He was just blaming me that I didn't notice the problem sooner. I couldn't, being on another continent, could I? Nor did I have any reason to suspect that a $2k Apple product might be dead on arrival. I understand a year passed and I didn't have an extended warranty, but how was I supposed to know I need it, before Covid? I paid $2200 for a product that doesn't even turn on and I honestly don't think I am to blame for it not working. Don't think it's just the battery, either.
What am I supposed to do with this really expensive brick?

P.S.: Typing this from my wife's $400 Lenovo, which was ordered at the same time with the MacBook, stayed for a year in the box, until yesterday, then charged, turned on and now works just fine... Kind of liking it, too. Certainly a lot more useful than mine.
After 10 years of Apple and 2 previous MacBook Pros which eventually needed battery replacements, I am extremely disappointed.
I'm in agreement with most of the responses you've received so far here and I'm interested to see if you have taken any further steps given the feedback you've obtained.

Personally I would get online with Apple via chat and go through this experience with them. Or have them call you so that you can discuss. Chat is my own preferred course, they generally respond very quickly once a chat request is initiated, and you have a written record of the chat when it is complete.

Replacing the battery, which sounds like the most likely requirement, does not seem unreasonable to me given that the MacBook was idle for such a long time. Others here have explained how the battery can be damaged by that experience. Apple might take into account the Covid situation and not charge you full price, although you are at a disadvantage since you did not take delivery in your own country. You'll be asking Apple U.S. to cover something that would be expected to be covered by Apple UK (or Apple Europe, however they are organized). Yes, it is the same company, but sometimes these things matter to them since the costs go to different parts of their company.

Finally, I'm also surprised that you found the Apple Store to be anything other than polite and accommodating. And actually, it sounds like they gave you the opportunity to have the battery replaced. You could make a service appointment and take it in, if they have the battery in stock (since it is a very recent model, that should be the case) then they should be able to replace it and run diagnostics to confirm no other problems - all within an hour or so of your dropping it off. Very likely that you could have this all resolved with one visit to the Apple Store and simply accept the cost of a battery replacement, which seems totally reasonable to me.
 
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I’m an IT admin for a 500+ person company and we get 16” MacBook Pros with dead battery on arrival more often than we would like. The only fix is to have it sent into Apple. My guess is this is a flaw. We don’t see it with any other machine, only this one. It’s extremely frustrating because we don’t know if a new user will get a working laptop on day 1
 
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