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Except for the OnePlus 6. :)
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My go to Android device is the OnePlus series. They get timely updates, (mine is running 9.0 Pie) and they are pretty much the most optimized phone around.

Watch some comparison videos. The OnePlus 6 usually spanks the iPhone X in speed tests and RAM management.
You have good points for the OnePlus 6, but I can bet the OP’s wife couldn’t care less about updates or benchmarks. If she card about updates, she would’ve stick with iPhone. I can easily sell a Huawei with its cool gradient iris purple back to a lay person that is cheaper than the OnePlus 6. People have different priorities, and it’s why BBK has Vivo and Oppo (and realMe) brands. OnePlus has specific target market, enthusiasts in the western developed markets.
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I used to be what one might call an Android “power user” and I was certainly a fan boy at that time. I installed custom roms and customized everything that was possible to customize.

I started running my own business at one point and went back to stock roms because I no longer had time to fiddle like I did while in college.

The problem with stock oem roms is they are extremely inconsistent and at times unreliable. There were a few times where randomly the mail app would no longer connect to my email servers. This would happen with no notification it would just stop. I’d have to realize (which usually meant a day down until I noticed no emails were coming in) and go through the pain of deleting and readding the email accounts. Sometimes reconnecting the account would fail and there would be no explanation why. The iOS mail app on the other hand has never once failed me, not sure why there was such a significant different in experience between the two OS for something as basic as email but there was for me.

Another thing is I find myself spending less time in apps because the UI is extremely consistent between them. This is not always the case in android, at least it wasn’t when I was using android. When you are running a business these small time wasters trying to learn between apps is frustrating. So consistency is definitely something helpful in my position.

Finally, I once had an issue with my HTC Desire (screen seal broke so dust was getting under the glass and I could no longer read the screen at that location). The warranty repair required giving my phone up for 6 weeks and getting a loaner phone that was so trash it could barely scroll between panels on the launcher. The worst part? They didn’t even fix the problem, they cleaned the dust out but left the broken seal, dust started accumulating the day I got it back. One of my iPhones on the other hand (a 6) had the battery issue and also a bright pixel. That repair? They gave me a brand new phone. You simply cannot beat the customer service you get from Apple and that will keep me coming back as a customer.
Hey at least you get service from HTC. Me, HTC denied repair for my HTC M1’s bulging battery. I have same experience with Sony and Samsung, all denying repairs to their own Flagship handsets (Xperia Z1, Galaxy S4). This is why I don’t believe anymore in paying premium for Android as there’s no value in the premium. I’d rather just get a cheap Xiaomi and replace it yearly rather than paying more for nothing (support). If I want to pay premium, I’ll get the iPhone.
 
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I would say for a more simpler usage go with Apple. And yes, iMessage and Facetime is worh staying for. Apple has always been great with their after sales support.
 
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