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IPAD guilt

cryingrobot said:
My 3 year old loves this thing. I have loaded it up with alot of apps for kids so we can look at them together but he has gotten to the point where he knows his way around the OS as well as i do. However, I cannot let him use the ipad alone since I need it in fact as my work email links in as well as my contacts etc and my son explores every nook and cranny of the device. I even tried to turn off the wifi once so he would not be sending out strange mail to colleagues but somehow he figured how to turn it back on. My bedroom on Sunday morning was envisioned as me with the ipad, my wife streaming korean dramas on her macbook and my son watching cartoons on TV. Instead, my son is on the ipad playing Ms Spider and occasionally explaining "Ms Spider is sad!", my wife is watching her dramas and I leave to the office to sit in front of the desktop to surf.

Now..I cannot abide by this anymore since there are work related items on the device so I have have made it off limits and given him my old ipod touch. He seems to understand that is his now and enjoys it but I hav to slink around when I have the ipad.

I feel like I have taken awy his favorite toy and the guilt is killing me. Cannot buy another since I am in HK and this was was especially shipped to me.
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I don't think you need to feel guilty. Whether he likes it or not, the iPad is for you. Be calm but firm about that. After all, he got a great consolation prize in the iPod Touch. When he wants the iPad, redirect him to that. Refer to it as "your iPod Touch" -- he'll love that. I'd recommend you not even play with the iPad with him. Instead, play with the touch with him.
 
I didn't realize how much great content the iPad had for kids when I first brought it. If it was simply denying candy or toys, saying no would be easy but the kids apps are educational and interactive.

I have a feeling when his generation grows up, physical keyboards will be relegated to antiques.
 
The only comment I have is: I feel your pain.


I picked up my 7 year old from school today and his homework was already finished as he finished it in class. We walk in the house, he puts his book bag down and said "where the iPad?". Sigh. He's sitting on my Futon while I'm at my desk on my Mac pro. I want to take it from him soooo bad!
 
antiprotest said:
Ipads are not for kids. Should have never let him touch it in the first place.
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Then why is there so much child oriented material for them -- games, interactive books, etc.? From what I've seen personally, kids are attracted to the the iPad because it's so accessible. Would I buy one for a child? No. But I have no prob. letting my 5 and 7 y.o. nephew and niece play with mine. They know the ground rules - no leaving an app w/o asking and no picking it up.
 
Not for kids? Now that Apple takes cash, I'll bet they would sell an iPad to any 3 year old that walked (toddled?) into an Apple store with $600. :D
 
jsbaugh said:
I was in the same boat as you so I had to buy another iPad which solved the problem :)
My 3 year old will sit for hours on the ipad and spends a lot less time watching TV, which I guess is a good thing.
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As a recent grandpa, I can tell you neither is good. We have so many folks growing up with zero social skills these days. Do your kid a favor and severly limit TV and computer use. His well-adjusted self will thank you in 20 years. Just my two cents. My own son was allowed way too much time sitting in front of his computer growing up.
 
Dillenger said:
No, I am a parent of a now 15 year old. When my son was younger we limited his TV, video games and such. That is the point, moderation in everything, but one thing for sure is no 3 year old, or now my 15 year old is going to make me feel guilty about not getting what they want. There is a difference between wants and needs. I just recently went through that when we started looking for a used car for my son. Unlike my dad who told me what kind of car I was going to drive, even though I was paying for it, my son was involved in the process, but he was thinking BMW, he got a Honda. If parents don't start telling kids No when they are young, it gets much harder when they grow up. I'm by no means against kids exploring, learning, and seeing their faces light up when the learn new things, but in my house I'm they parent and they are not.
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I would like to point out that this may not work as well as you think, or well on everyone. I am 15 now and before I was 10 I had never even played a video game. I had only seen one TV show (Laurece Welk, or however you spell it). My parents didn't let me have fake guns or anything, (In fact I had to use my play gutiar when my friends and I were playing solders haha) I am not disagreeing with you, but just know that even if you say no when your kids are really young does not mean that they will ever take no easily. My parents and I argue all the time. And the more they say no, the more I get angry about it. It depends on your son or daughters personality type more then anything (I believe). For instance, I know a kid who's parents never ever say no, and he is the single most responsible person I know. That's not to say that parenting doesn't matter, but I don't believe that there is a right or wrong answer to this question.

Also, if there is... your not going to get it at this website hahaha. This is a sight for geeks and nerds (that was a joke, please do not take offense everyone)
 
dcsatt said:
Obviously many of the responders are not parents.

It's not a matter of enforcing boundaries, and it's not a matter of spoiling your child.

It's an incredible experience to watch your pre-schooler dive into this device, which is testament to the developers' accomplishment (heck, even my two year-old can navigate the iPad OS). The exploration and learning potential is phenomenal. I don't want to take it away from my child because I love that she's being mesmerized/challenged/enthralled/educated. It's a mutually pleasurable deal.

It's not a toy, and no one claims that it is, but if you're a parent who thinks children should play ONLY with toys, then you're very short-sighted, and that attitude is a disservice to your child. Supervision is key.

In our house, we ended up with two iPads. After receiving the Wi-Fi on launch day, we saw almost immediately how useful it would be for the family. Besides movies and music, there are many incredible apps for kids, from games to art to education to make-believe (Puppet Pals rocks). So, we got a launch day 3G that I use for business. The Wi-Fi belongs to the family (although my 4 year-old refers to it as "my iPad").

If your family can afford it, then buy multiple iPads. If you have young children, hand one over and let their minds grow.
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+1

I have three kids (all older than 3, but still school-age) and the iPad has been great for them. Interactive books that we can sit and go through together. Educational games they can play. My son loves watching lego stop motion videos on YouTube and has gone on to make a few himself.

I'm fortunate enough that I can afford to buy another iPad for them to share, which I will probably do come birthday time (all three have birthdays fairly close together, so I might get one as a joint present in addition to their individual gifts).

It's not about brain-wasting video games. My kids are very active in athletics and get plenty of exercise. There's plenty of educational material for them on the iPad and they're old enough to respect the unit.

Just because iPads are used by adults doesn't mean they aren't appropriate for children (and I'm not talking toddlers who will drop/smash it the first chance they get). Macs are much more expensive it's perfectly acceptable for children to use one appropriately.
 
M87 said:
"iPad is not for children"? What a ****** attitude!
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Don't worry about it. Give it to a kid if you want. He will eventually break it and then there will be no iPad for him. So the result is the same.
 
antiprotest said:
So is it wrong to say that there is a right or wrong answer to this question?
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No of course not! I'm just saying that you have to take everyone's answers with a grain of salt... a lot of grains of salt actually. That that doesn't mean that the discussions not worth while. That was just my two cents for the discussion
 
-Ryan- said:
Perhaps I'm old fashioned but I wouldn't want a 3 year old using such an expensive device. Just explain to him that you use it for work.
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antiprotest said:
Ipads are not for kids. Should have never let him touch it in the first place.
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M87 said:
"iPad is not for children"? What a ****** attitude!
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I agree that considering iPads or any computers as off limits to children is a bizarre old fashioned thinking.

Of course, there are two parallel issues here. Even though I think kids should be started on iPads as early as they are interested, I think it's even more important for parents to set consistent limits on their children's behavior.
 
FroColin said:
I would like to point out that this may not work as well as you think, or well on everyone. I am 15 now and before I was 10 I had never even played a video game. I had only seen one TV show (Laurece Welk, or however you spell it). My parents didn't let me have fake guns or anything, (In fact I had to use my play gutiar when my friends and I were playing solders haha) I am not disagreeing with you, but just know that even if you say no when your kids are really young does not mean that they will ever take no easily. My parents and I argue all the time. And the more they say no, the more I get angry about it. It depends on your son or daughters personality type more then anything (I believe). For instance, I know a kid who's parents never ever say no, and he is the single most responsible person I know. That's not to say that parenting doesn't matter, but I don't believe that there is a right or wrong answer to this question.

Also, if there is... your not going to get it at this website hahaha. This is a sight for geeks and nerds (that was a joke, please do not take offense everyone)
Click to expand...

And as my post said, "moderation in everything" but no child would make me feel guilty by not letting them use a iPad, game console, cell phone. Not sharing food with them if they were hungry, yep, I would feel horrible, heck I even feel bad when my dog stares at me while I'm eating but that is another story. Not clothing them properly, or when they are hurting or afraid? Then anyone that does not feel their pain nor feel guilty about helping or protecting them has no business being a parent. Regarding your friend, his parents really "never say no?" I doubt that.
 
I don't think you have to deny him completely, OP.

It may be best to set aside iPad time where both of you can interact with the device, and then when it's over, he goes back to the Touch. No if, ands, or buts. This will not only foster good parenting, but also quality time between you two. Don't abandon the kid for the iPad.

To him, the iPad is this great device that once brought a lot of reinforcement and now it's being deprived. It's not your fault that he liked it. It just happen.

Now that it works as a reinforcement for him, you can use it in whatever way you please.

What you don't want to do is deprive it completely one day, and the next allow him to have at it. And then deny it again. This is not only confusing, but downright wrong.

Set your boundaries and stick to them.
 
My 5 year old enjoys playing with mine...IN MY PRESENCE. Alone he has moved apps, deleted apps, deleted books and other such non-sense :) Totally my fault for letting him use it alone the first time, but either way, this thing wasn't "chump change" and I didn't purchase it as a toy. It was for me to read books on. By the same degree, I don't let him color in my hardback book collection.

I am amazed however at the difference in children today and when I was a child. I got to play around on a computer with DOS in grade school. Now a 5 year old can navigate an iPad...unreal.

Either way, if it was purchased as a toy, cool. If it was purchased as a productivity device for YOU, then that's what it is. I mean, my work laptop can download games, but I'm certainly not handing that over to him either.
 
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