My XR finally updated overnight last night. I didn’t get any notice that it was going to update or that it had updated. The only way I knew was that I was unable to use Face ID this morning. When I checked General -> About it showed 14.2. So, three weeks after the original announcement.
I suppose that if you don’t care much about the latest features and bug fixes or security updates, Automatic Update is OK, but it can take some time.
On the other hand, if you leap right in and update right away you can get burned. I learned this the hard way when I installed 14.0 and permanently lost three years worth of workout GPS data. Thanks, Apple.