just hear three funny jokes

[mpw]

it looks like you're about to kill someone for speaking in the library

Reminds me of a joke:
Irishman* walks into a library and goes to the librarian
Irishman: [loud voice]"Can I have a pint of beer and a packet of cheese & onion crisps** please"[/loud voice]
Librarian: [slightly annoyed and stern voice]"This is a library!"[/slightly annoyed and stern voice]
Irishman:[hushed voice]"Sorry, can I have a pint of beer and a packet of cheese & onion crisps please."[/hushed voice]

*Insert nationality most suitable as the butt of jokes in your country.
**Potato chips for the American members.

 

[macg4]

good one man

 

[Killyp]

Reminds me of a joke:
Irishman* walks into a library...

My favourite library joke:


Guy walks into a library and says to the librarian "Do you have any books on suicide?". The librarian turns to him and says "Yes, just on a shelf down there, on the left". The guy walks over to the shelf and sits on the floor to have a flick through the books. A few minutes later, he comes back to the librarian and says "There's nothing there!". She tuts and says "Typical, the never bring them back!"


Gawd I love that one...

 

[macg4]

you guys for the uk always have the best jokes... love em

 

[imacintel]

The Official Joke Thread™

Post any good(or bad) jokes in this thread. Do we have one of these already?

Anyways... Let the joking begin!

 

[72930]

So a guy walks into a bar with a crocodile. The barman says 'haven't I been on one of these threads before?'

 

[Jay42]

So the chicken and the egg are lying in bed together and the egg is smoking a cigarette and says, "Well, I guess that answers that question."



ba dum pish.....bad, ya I know

 

[redAPPLE]

Three men walks into a bar... Michael Jackson.

don't get it.

 

[dogbone]

knock knock:

who's there?

Little Boy Blue.

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson.

 

[0007776]

Most of these jokes are good but some of them made me go

 

[Sun Baked]

Most of these jokes are good but some of them made me go

Yes, it is all in the delivery ... and it seems like we aren't knocking at your door loud enough.

 

[sushi]

Here's one to add to the collection.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."