You have to try it out for yourself. For example, if I am using my mbp on my lap, I only use it for web browsing during which the temperature stays in the low 40s (right now it's 41C). I need to use a mouse for anything professional so the mbp has to go on a table. It can get up to 60C when running photoshop, fireworks, flash and maybe several other apps, but the temperature isn't an issue then.
When it stays in the 40s it is warm but not uncomfortably warm. I can easily have it on my lap. I used to have a 12" iBook 1.2Ghz before and it was just as warm. I also noticed that the bottom part of my mbp gets warm in the middle area which isn't in contact with my legs.
The whine I hardly ever notice. Maybe at night only, but if it bothers me I just do the following - run mirror widget, close it, put computer to sleep by closing the lid (I turned safe sleep off, so it only takes a couple of seconds), wake up the computer and the whine is gone. It takes about 20s to do all that, but the computer goes quiet. However I must say, that I hardly ever do this. The whine isn't an issue for me. Computers do make some noise and this whine isn't the worst I heard.
I hear people complaining but I think the problems are exaggerated. Especially the wine problem. You have to be in a dead quiet room to notice it or you just have to look for it. I am sitting in a leaving room right now. No tv, no music. I can hear birds outside. My girlfriend is in the bedroom reading. It is quiet! But I have to put my ear next to the top left corner of my laptop to hear the whine.
I have a week 11 15" MBP, 2.0Ghz, 2GB, x1600 with 256MB. (didn't reapply the thermal paste)
To sum up: It is the best computer I've ever owned and I would recommend it to anyone.