So I wonder why Apple didnt use Titan Ridge from Intel?
they did. Most of the assertion that they didn't isn't based on facts.
That XDR hooks up to any of the Thunderbolt ports on the Mac Pro 2019 (if feed from the GPU sufficiently) is illustrative that they did use Titan Ridge. ( need to be able to pass through two DisiplayPort 1.4 streams onto the TB network. ).
The chips being pointed at are really more "Alternative Mode" assist chips (and/or pragmatically being used as re-drivers to cover longer distances. ).