Us guys, us girls, us classy, dashing, well-dressed New Yorker readers, yeah, we're suffering a little inconvenience. But hey, we're also charitable, and surely we'd all agree that we'd be willing to take a small personal irritant if it contributed to a greater good?
And it does contribute to a greater good. Just think, after a year of newsstand, we might see an end to cultural ignorance. We might see an end to a world where the new Kelly Clarkson gets 500 reviews on Amazon, but a new translation of Aristotle's Ethics gets nothing. We might even find ourselves in a world that remembers how to find love through intellectual discourse, not war.
We could slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
It's time for New Yorker readers to step up for the sake of their less-informed brothers. We'll take this extra tap, this single gesture, this scratch of our finger, that interrupts our routine. We'll accept it because we know it might help others. That's how fantastic we are as individuals.
New Yorker Readers. We're better than you, and we know it.