You are correct. This is an interesting topic just as long as all the fanboy stuff is kept out of it. I will admit that like most users of Mac OS X, I don't believe that I'm using the full potential of the OS.
I think that most people who use Mac OS X will use it for media production, photoshop, & basic web surfing, etc.
I would imagine that there are only a handful that truly have exploited the max of the Darwin Core.
Come to think of it, I believe that just a few people would only know the terminal command line.
I think you might've been right a decade or so ago. But I increasingly see Macs in use in business and development. I'm a programmer (Windows, Python, etc.). Work provides us with some generic Dell boxes to put on our desks, but every single one of us has a Mac at home.
Sure, I've got Windows 10 running in a virtual machine, but I tend to skip between OS X and the virtual machine to get work done -- use the best tool for each task.
Plus, the number of Macbook Airs I see when visiting customers and suppliers is really quite surprising. Especially where companies have migrated to Office 365 which makes the OS irrelevant.
As for 'extracting the max' from Darwin, well, it's all horses for courses. At the moment, I've got OS X running two virtual machines - Win10, WinXP, and I'm remotely connected (ssh'd) in to two Linux hosts in tabs within Terminal. The trick is to not get hung up on the technologies involved (although certainly appreciate them), but to ask 'what does this let me do?'
Right now, even with Windows 10, it's Windows that feels like it lives in its own ghetto. It's a very big ghetto with lots of history and lots of software floating around, but it's still its own world, no matter how big that world is.
OS X, Linux, and the BSDs share enough ideas and technologies that using a Mac feels much more freeing.
Truthfully now, I think that I may have inadvertently opened a can of worms. Everyone has varying views on what kind of kernel OS X has and how up to date it is, etc; when compared with the FreeBSD and Linux kernel.
I've been using OS X since ~2001 with version 10.0.3. It's come a helluva long way since then. Back then, the Mach kernel, BSD environment, NextStep-based API and Aqua GUI really hadn't gelled. I remember turning services like file sharing on and off by editing /etc/rc.conf, just as you would today on FreeBSD. Mach was slow. The NextStep API (Cocoa) was missing vast swathes of functionality. BSD networking was about the only bright spot. It's been really interesting watching Apple build OS X up into what we have now.