I've been having problems with this as well. I've been using an iMac with Lion installed since just prior to Christmas, and the wake for network access has never worked properly for me. I would like to take advantage of it in combination with iTunes Home Sharing, so that I can stream music and video to my Apple TV, and also for Back to my Mac over iCloud. However, neither work reliably, leading me to believe that, rather than it being a problem with iTunes or iCloud, it is the wake up on network access function that is failing me.
From what I've seen on these forums, as well as on the Apple support boards, others are having this problem and there appears to be no definitive solution. Like others, I have been finding that, if my iMac has gone into sleep mode recently, then I am able to see it in the shared section on Finder (both on the same LAN and over the internet with Back to my Mac) and am able to stream content to my Apple TV. It is only after a prolonged period of time that it disappears from both.
Whilst poking around on System Information, I have stumbled across something that I have not seen mentioned on any of the discussions I've seen on the problem of wake on network access not working properly, and something which I've been unable to find any information about on Google.
In System Profiler, if you go to the 'Power' section of the 'Hardware' list, there is a parameter called 'PrioritizeNetworkReachabilityOverSleep'. On my iMac, this is set to zero (which I take to be a boolean 'no'). For confirmation, I've checked the same parameter on my MacBook, also running Lion, and have found that it too is set to zero. I therefore suspect this to be the default setting.
My thought at this juncture is that there is in fact some kind of setting, buried away within the system configuration somewhere (and seemingly inaccessible via the GUI), which instructs Lion to favour remaining in sleep mode over briefly waking up to re-register its presence with a Bonjour sleep proxy (an AirPort Extreme, Express, a Time Capsule, an Apple TV, etc.).
Is there anybody who has come across this before and who may be able to shed any light on the matter? And is anybody able to confirm whether the PrioritizeNetworkReachabilityOverSleep parameter is also set to zero on their system, and whether they too are having problems with their computer waking on network access?
If nobody knows anything about PrioritizeNetworkReachabilityOverSleep, I'll try to e-mail or phone Apple support to see if they are able to help.