No worries on sticking with you on this, really...Thanks for sticking with me as I try to resolve this.
I should say that while I hadn't deleted the entire Overrides folder (it seems to exist in my installation for a reason), I did purge my system of the plist override for my specific monitor that I downloaded as a 'hack' to get it working. When I did this and used the Acell cable, neither System Preferences.app nor my third party tool which is RDM (Retina Display Menu Beta 2) which looks like a rather old piece of software, showed the scaled resolution that I wanted.
Upon a reboot and re-instating of the haxxed plist file, RDM now (at least for this one time, who knows what will happen tomorrow) shows the HiDPI and I'm using it right now. System Preferences.app, as ever, does not.
If I can't quite get it working tomorrow I will remove RDM and the plist and maybe the entire Overrides folder, and also reset the PRAM and SMC and everything, to try and get everything as clean as possible using just Sierra and the magic compliant cable. If it does work tomorrow, however, I would quite like to not interfere with it any more in case I can never get it back again, you know?
I'm familiar with RDM, IMHO it's not what I'd use on my Macs. The dev stopped supporting it two OSes ago, I'm suspecting it was related to SIP... Those overrides, in essence, block your peripheral(s) from talking to your Mac properly - not necessarily a bad thing if you have the wrong interface. I have no overrides on the 3 Macs in my home office, FWIW...
Now, a couple of updates. I'm aware of the thread on the Home Page of these forums, and I noted - to my chagrin - that some are relating issues related to cable changes but failing to mention that most of the cables "out there" aren't compliant - that's my nit to pick. But, maybe more relevant is that I noted a couple of changes before and after an install of Sierra on my 2012 Mini Server (knowing that I would be installing an SSD soon, I decided to upgrade it from 10.11 to 10.12 while I'm packing up my office for a move...). Not only did I note a change in the default resolution, but also one key bit that may or may not be relevant to all of this borking...
Before (El Capitan):
After (Sierra):
The first change, obviously, is the change in default resolution over the DP interface - 1600x900 Before and 1440p After; both using the DP interface and the same Accell cable. What is new, aside from the default resolution, is the designation of support for "Metal" and "Automatically Adjust Brightness" in the System Information app. And, after the OS upgrade the Mini Server OS interface is far more responsive - it wasn't slow before the update, but it's almost like a "Holy crap" update. I never saw 1440p over DP before, but I did over the HDMI interface that it's usually connected to.
The only change in the two screenshots above is the 323 Build Sierra update, installed over the latest 10.11 Build. The Mini is actually usable as a computer now - and, note the clarity of the screen shots as the Dell P2715Q it's connected to works great as well...