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The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from an employee

jayb2000 said:
Up here in Maine there are a few Tim Horton's, but since McDonalds switched to Newman's Own organic coffee, its actually pretty good.

Stupid employee stuff? Well, at a former job, we techies sat next to the legal department. And there was a power outage. Whole building shut down.
Generators kicked in, but the UPS did not. Everyone's computer shut off and then powered back up.

One of the lawyers caught me as I came back from getting a coffee and asked if I "was technical" as she was having problems with her computer.
So, I followed her back to her desk and her pc says

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r
...
About 15 times :eek:

So I lean over her shoulder and pop the floppy out of the drive, hit r and walk back to my desk. :p
Click to expand...

Dude, she was hitting on you!
 
This just happened, not more then an hour ago. I was out a local wholesale club (BJ's- it's like costco or sams club), and they were doing their Saturday free sample things. One of them was for a pasta and sauce. So I grab the sample and the employee says "That's an Irish pasta, great for St. Patricks day, it's straight from Italy." I said "Where is it from?" "Italy" "And it's Irish?" "Yes Sir"

"... Ok"

Priceless
 
not a stupid cashier but funny still...
me and my friend went up to ottawa, we r both from south america but his accent is ohhh mannnnnnnn(and he has been in canada for over 8 years now,),,, just sooooo heavy,,, we stopped by a burger king and he tried to order in his crippled english, she looked at him blankly and said in english, im sorry i don't speak french but give me asecond i'' l get someone else...lol
 
Perhaps not as ridiculous as what others have heard, but in the last couple days, I've noticed that employees never give up a chance to make a sale :rolleyes:

The other day I called ATT to inquire about DSL availability, because we're sick and tired of Charter's service (I was calling rather than checking online because our cable was out....again, and 2 hours past the time the technician was supposed to arrive). Anyways, the guy told me that DSL wasn't available (wtf? damn), but he sure didn't pass up the chance to tell me that we didn't have a long distance plan from ATT and tell me all the benefits of it :rolleyes: Long distance on a landline? That's soooo 20th century. I told him we use our cell phones for long distance and hung up. I probably missed a Cingular sales pitch, which is sad because I love getting a chance to tell an ATT employee how much our 2 years with Cingular sucked.

But, I was without a cell phone sales pitch for long. Later in the day, I went to RadioShack to find some 8 AWG wire terminals to hook up a car amp. I didn't see them, but asked a guy working there if they carry them. He told me no, and to try Home Depot (who didn't have them either). As I'm walking out the door, he asks me "Oh, and if you don't mind me asking, who do you have for cell service?" I said "T-Mobile" and since RS are authorized Sprint and Cingular dealers, you could see the dollar signs in his eyes because I'm sure he gets a nice commission. He then said, "Well.....are you happy with them?" I replied "Yes, very happy" and left. The happy look on his face quickly went away.

It just annoys me...I didn't call ATT asking about long distance service, nor did I walk into RadioShack asking about cell service, so why try to sell it to me? These people will do anything to make a buck.
 
there is a coffee shop right down my street, that charges extra for ketchup in your sandwich.....:eek: :confused:

also while I was conducting an interview to hire some guy, there are a couple of questions my company makes us ask every single person we interview, one of them is "Do you think it's okay to steal from your employer?" and can you beleive the guy said " well it depends on the situation, sometimes you just have to.."
 
"Do you think it's okay to steal from your employer?" and can you beleive the guy said " well it depends on the situation, sometimes you just have to.."
Click to expand...

In the old days when companies could do whatever they wanted (not really all that long ago), I worked for a Gov't contractor who in turn did work for US Customs. We had to go through a background investigation, which in this case meant actual secret service agents. They hooked you up to a lie detector and one of the questions was "Do you know anyone who does drugs", which of course is ridiculous, since its pretty common (at least where I live).

A fellow employee answered honestly, and told them he didn't do them, but knew folks who did. They fired him the next day. Apparently its OK to lie on the test though. :confused:
 
Kingsly said:
I called the 3rd street Apple store looking for a G5 iMac:

Me: Hi, yes do you have any of the G5 iMacs still available?
Her: Yes, wireless or wired?
Me: What?
Her: Wireless or wired keyboard?
Me: oh, wired.
Her: okay... We have six in stock.
Me: Great! They're the G5 ones, right?
Her: Yes.
Me: Not the intel?
Her: the G5 ones are intel.
Me: No, the Intel ones are called imac Core Duo
Her: No, your'e wrong, sir. All iMacs are called iMac G5 but now thy have Intel chip in them.
Me: No, Im pretty sure its called a Core Duo.
Her: Yes, it has a core duo chip, but we call it a G5.
Me: thank you
*click*

At an APPLE store!
Click to expand...

The almost EXACT same happened to me, it went like this (I was trying to get a G5, but ended up getting a Mini later)

Me: Hello, do you have any iMac G5's availible?
Him: Yes Ma'm, what screen size? 17 20 or 24 inches?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure the G5's didn't have 24" screens. Only the Intel ones.
Him: Yes, the iMac G5's have the Intel chips.
Me: No, the G5's have G5 chips in them. The newer ones have Intel Core Duo chips.
Him: No, the G5's are Intel. You need to do your research.

(This got me pissed off, because obviously I KNOW the difference between a G5 and Intel)

Me: How about you go check your company website, and we'll see?
(Pause)
Me: What does it say under iMacs?
Him: iMac Core Duo.
Me: So that obviously means that's what it's called right?
Him: No, I just checked the refurbished ones. They're called G5's.
Me: We're done here.

I swear, some people.
 
jayb2000 said:
Up here in Maine there are a few Tim Horton's, but since McDonalds switched to Newman's Own organic coffee, its actually pretty good.

Stupid employee stuff? Well, at a former job, we techies sat next to the legal department. And there was a power outage. Whole building shut down.
Generators kicked in, but the UPS did not. Everyone's computer shut off and then powered back up.

One of the lawyers caught me as I came back from getting a coffee and asked if I "was technical" as she was having problems with her computer.
So, I followed her back to her desk and her pc says

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r
...
About 15 times :eek:

So I lean over her shoulder and pop the floppy out of the drive, hit r and walk back to my desk. :p
Click to expand...

Classic! This has happened loads of times, infact someone hadn't been able to use their pc for a week because of this!
 
Father Jack said:
A chap I worked with once (From Dublin) told the boss:

"I slightly broke a window"


The boss quickly replied:
"How the F*** do you slightly break a window?" !!!!!! :eek: :eek:

FJ
Click to expand...

LMAO That was literally an LOL.

I can picture it now.... employee with a guilty look, bosses face turning red.

L-M-A-O!

EDIT: Made new siggy. :p
 
savar said:
I hate going there, trying to buy something like a receiver, and they try to sell you a $120, 3ft monster digital audio cable. ITS DIGITAL!! I don't need gold plated contacts on an optical cable either, stoop, but thanks for playing.
Click to expand...
Thank you! Someone else understands!

yojitani said:
hoho!! We'll I have dozens of fairly snobby stories about grocery store cashiers - like one guy who couldn't get his head around the idea of 'endive':D . No, my best is last summer we all went out to a new Indian restaurant in town. I like exceptionally hot food so I ordered a Jalferezi and asked for it 'extra hot.' Much to my disappointment, the curry they brought to me tasted like the kiddie version (less than mild). So when I complained, the waiter told me that they didn't make it too hot because it's hot outside and they didn't want their customers to overheat!:D

(the story does end nicely though, I went back a few weeks ago and asked and double checked that they would make my food acceptably hot. This time they managed it - though the waiter came to check every 10 mins on my health. His jaw hit the table when I finished my plate. Obvioulsy, they still need to get the customer service thing down, but otherwise...hehe, and I joked with him that they can make it as hot as they like since we were in the middle of a bllizzard)
Click to expand...
You need to ask them for to make it hot just like the guys who work there eat it. You'll get a warning about how hot it really is and then get what you want ... if you like it hotter than anything else around that is.
 
Funny. I love the stories all!

I don't have any employee stories, except a few from Best Buy. Like USB 2.0 is faster than Firewire… :rolleyes:
Or that PC hardware is cheaper and faster. Just the usual.

I have customer stories.
Like: A lady walks into the UPS store over the holidays this last year. Walks right passed the line out the door that I'm standing in, goes straight to the counter and plops her crap down. Waits about 30 seconds and then says, "Does anyone work here? Can I get some service?"

At which point I yell from the center of the line, "Yeah as soon as you wait your damn turn and get to the back of the line!"

I figured the employees wanted to say it but couldn't. ;)
 
ezekielrage_99 said:
This is what responce I got when I applied for a job on seek.com.au


Hi,

Congratulations on your work to date.

We don't have a position open at the moment. However, if you're happy to
take the risk to show us your value by working for nothing for a month, then we'll set you up here within the team.

Please be aware that we don't do much if any 3D.

Best regards,

Peter

--
Peter D. McNamara
BA LLB (Melb) MBA (Wharton)
Director
Liquid Vision Pty. Ltd.
Interactive marketing agency



Now how's that for a cheap arsed company director?
Click to expand...
It may be cheap but a lot of techie places do internships. I had an employee, who already had a BS degree, who was interning at a local recording studio and got a full time position just because they saw how hard of a worker he was. He now makes a good deal of money and all for just a month or two of unpaid labour. Sidenote: if you aren't earning credits for school, U.S. law requires you get credited for your work, so he actually did get something out of it.

Oh and great posts everyone. Loads of laughs.
 
I work in retail and was helping a lady in the paint department. She gave me a can of white spray paint and a color swatch (used to mix latex paint) and asked me to mix the spray paint to the color on the swatch.
 
killr_b said:
Like USB 2.0 is faster than Firewire… :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Technically USB 2.0 is faster than FW 400. USB 2.0 is 480 Mbit/sec while the FW is ~400. But the FW can sustain higher transfer speeds for a longer period of time.

Nuc
 
My dad and I were once in a Haagen Daaz (yeah, bad spelling). I don't remember what I ordered, but he asked for a hot fudge Sundae and some seltzer water. When my dad got it, he found that the employee had poured the seltzer water into the hot fudge Sundae.
 
killr_b said:
Funny. I love the stories all!

I don't have any employee stories, except a few from Best Buy. Like USB 2.0 is faster than Firewire… :rolleyes:
Or that PC hardware is cheaper and faster. Just the usual.

I have customer stories.
Like: A lady walks into the UPS store over the holidays this last year. Walks right passed the line out the door that I'm standing in, goes straight to the counter and plops her crap down. Waits about 30 seconds and then says, "Does anyone work here? Can I get some service?"

At which point I yell from the center of the line, "Yeah as soon as you wait your damn turn and get to the back of the line!"

I figured the employees wanted to say it but couldn't. ;)
Click to expand...

While it was a good story, this thread is for stupid employee's, not customers. There is already a thread for them. I don't want this thread turning into the opposite of what it was intended.
 
Me trying to buy a pack of smokes in a local Exxon one night. All spelling and grammatical errors are intentional to convey effect:

Clerk: You dint give me 'nuff money.
Me: Yes I did.
Clerk: You gae me a bunch of quarters.
Me: No, those are dollars.
*At this point, the clerk proceeds to scrutinize each of the four dollar coins I had given her*
Clerk: Dees dollars?
Me: Yes.
Clerk: When they start makin' dollars as coins?
Me: 1794.
 
For those of you that don't know, the Bank of England has just introduced some (horrible) new £20 notes.

I was buying some bearings from a skate shop I rarely go to (due to the ignorance of the owners). I gave her my £20 and she looked at it, shocked.

"What is this?"
"It's a new £20 note"
"There isn't a new note"
"Yes there is, it was released on the 13th March"
"Well I haven't heard of it"
"Surely you got some when you last got your money from the bank?"
"No. Are you sure this is real?"
"Yes, I'm definitely sure"

Thankfully, at this point the other owner walks in and says
"Is that one of the new twenties?"
"(To him) Uhhhh, yes, yes it is (to me)...Here's your change"
 
pilotError said:
In the old days when companies could do whatever they wanted (not really all that long ago), I worked for a Gov't contractor who in turn did work for US Customs. We had to go through a background investigation, which in this case meant actual secret service agents. They hooked you up to a lie detector and one of the questions was "Do you know anyone who does drugs", which of course is ridiculous, since its pretty common (at least where I live).

A fellow employee answered honestly, and told them he didn't do them, but knew folks who did. They fired him the next day. Apparently its OK to lie on the test though. :confused:
Click to expand...

Maybe I'm dense but what did he get fired for? For knowing folks who did drugs? :confused:
 
Poseidon said:
Maybe I'm dense but what did he get fired for? For knowing folks who did drugs? :confused:
Click to expand...

Maybe that person's response was actually a lie? Or maybe it was unrelated?

I would almost have thought a question like that would be a head check question (that is, it is used to calibrate the test by getting response to a stressful question to which the true answer is known)... except there's some variation there. I'm sure I know some people who have sufficiently sheltered lifestyle that they don't know anyone who uses drugs.

Or maybe they want people with good poker faces? :D
 
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