Okay, I've tried so many pieces of kit to solve this exact same problem over the years. This is what I work with now.
Godox AD200 (I actually have two of them). Note:in the UK the Godox equipment is officially sold and rebranded as PixaPro and sold with full support and warranty by a company called EssentialPhoto in Birmingham. You can also buy the same equipment with Godox branding from Amazon UK. The equipment is all the same, just the paintwork on the plastic varies
Godox trigger and receiver to control my Nikon SB-800 speedlight and the AD200 (I actually have 3 SB-800s and with the Godox trigger/receiver combo you have full wireless control of the power output of the AD200 and the SB-800s from the camera, which is awesome and really useful and a massive time saver)
Manfrotto nano light stands
Magmod gels, grids and modifiers
I'm still searching for the 'perfect' portable light modifier for soft portrait lighting. I've used all sorts of portable softboxes (Phot-R) and umbrellas, and none has been ideal but
this Kickstarter project looks promising.
For reference, I've tried FlashBenders (I still use this sometimes), theGary Fong lightsphere (utter junk), PocketWizard triggers/receivers, Cactus triggers/receivers, and all sorts of ways to attach gels. The above is the best solution I've yet to find. But once you add it all up, it's not cheap. I've added the bits over time and photography is my full time job so I can justify it.
Anyway, I hope some of the above helps
Good luck!