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Feeling slightly depressed about the progress of my weight loss journey. I recently had a spinal procedure done, but before it started, the surgeon said (in front of a roomful of colleagues) "Wow, you're a big boy." I was heartbroken (and still am).
Disgraceful, disrespectful, and utterly unprofessional.

I'm sorry to learn that this happened to you.
 
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I am shocked to read this, and I’m really sorry this happened. I don’t know what else to say. You should file a complaint to the provider.
Indeed @boswald should file a malpractice suit against the spinal surgeon 🧑‍⚕️ that did his surgery

I’m really sorry for what happened
 
Christmas.😑😑😑 There are a few places around town that have Christmas lights up already.😓 There are Christmas decoration in stores in October.😖 I'm channeling Scrooge until after Thanksgiving.
Fhodxi6WQAAApXf
And my neighbourhood still has houses with Halloween decorations.
 
Feeling slightly depressed about the progress of my weight loss journey. I recently had a spinal procedure done, but before it started, the surgeon said (in front of a roomful of colleagues) "Wow, you're a big boy." I was heartbroken (and still am).

Sorry to read that. :( That is very disrespectful.

Don’t get put off, use it to be even more motivated. Just step by step and consistency and you will get there.
 
Over the years, I've noticed that some books which seem to be for children are actually for adults. And not just for their nostalgic value.
Oh, I've re-read The Lille Prince a couple of times as an adult, the last time not too long ago, and I still love that book.

Richard Scarry, though, I've not re-read as an adult, but I do get a warm, fuzzy sense of nostalgia whenever I see references to him, like in this comic:

bafkreibp4tbjxxzye4r66bchiznukdff5w7si2vcxd5joiyod7jjv4wssy.jpg
 
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The dawn chorus is on my mind, and in my ears.
It's high spring here. The little birdies (all male) wake up and hawk their wares (themselves) to the ladies.
I don't mind, if they do it at a reasonable time, i.e. after the sun has got up.
But, why the flimflam do they have to do it at 4am? The rest of us - people, cats, dogs, kangaroos, koalas, possums, etc - are trying to sleep.
Also, how come a tiny little scrap of a bird can screech at 120 decibels? Are they bypassing some law of physics?
It shouldn't be allowed.
 
Indeed @boswald should file a malpractice suit against the spinal surgeon 🧑‍⚕️ that did his surgery

I’m really sorry for what happened
Having bad bedside manner or the emotional awareness of a rock does not constitute medical malpractice. That would be both a waste of time and money. I do agree however using such colloquial language is unprofessional and inappropriate. Clinical language based on BMI like Obese or overweight would have been the correct path forward. Also, this doc likely works with this surgical team daily thus has close working relationships with them hence, the colloquial language as they were speaking to the medical team/staff - it doesnt make it appropriate, but I can understand how that verbiage slip would occur. In this scenario I would discuss this with the doctor directly. Let them know that you felt this was inappropriate and emotionally insensitive. It gives them the opportunity to acknowledge their misstep and become better for it. Likely you would get an apology as well which is IMO a much more healing resolution than doing the HR rigemarole. That doesnt do much for moving forward emotionally and get your minds eye back on the prize - continuing your weight loss journey.

Good luck.
 
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Having bad bedside manner or the emotional awareness of a rock does not constitute medical malpractice. That would be both a waste of time and money. I do agree however using such colloquial language is unprofessional and inappropriate. Clinical language based on BMI like Obese or overweight would have been the correct path forward. Also, this doc likely works with this surgical team daily thus has close working relationships with them hence, the colloquial language as they were speaking to the medical team/staff - it doesnt make it appropriate, but I can understand how that verbiage slip would occur. In this scenario I would discuss this with the doctor directly. Let them know that you felt this was inappropriate and emotionally insensitive. It gives them the opportunity to acknowledge their misstep and become better for it. Likely you would get an apology as well which is IMO a much more healing resolution than doing the HR rigemarole. That doesnt do much for moving forward emotionally and get your minds eye back on the prize - continuing your weight loss journey.

Good luck.
Exactly I think it is preferable discussing about it with the provider and seeing if he would apologise for the matter. But if he did it intentionally or if it is a more of a serious matter like if it caused more injury or harm to the patient that would constitute malpractice
 
Exactly I think it is preferable discussing about it with the provider and seeing if he would apologise for the matter. But if he did it intentionally or if it is a more of a serious matter like if it caused more injury or harm to the patient that would constitute malpractice
Yes, and connecting “big boy” to some measurable injury is quite the legal stretch. While it is an absolute lack in judgement by the doc, I don’t see that constituting MP. I think the burden of proof would be very difficult if not impossible to tangibly show in a court of law ie: he called me a big boy and now I’m suffering from x. Heck I’ve been called worse walking down the street.

I mean docs & high risk medical providers do carry crazy expensive malpractice insurance and this sort of conceptual MP law suit is why. A open conversation with the doc is the better & reasonable path forward for both parties.
 
In medicine, malpractice specifically means that the physician failed to meet the standard of care, that he or she caused actual physical and or psychological injury by either making errors or by negligence in the performance of his expected duties. The Hippocratic oath, taken by all medical students as they prepare to become physicians, is "First, do no harm."

Malpractice is often used when a surgeon does not perform a procedure correctly, makes one or more errors and/or is negligent in his overall approach to the patient and the procedure. And, yes, the burden of proof is on the patient and his or her attorneys to demonstrate that this was harmful to the patient, causing physical or psychological injuries.
 
I do also want to make clear that my opinion is from the limited & directional information provided. In regards to MP, anyone who feels they need to sue then they should absolutely consult legal counsel and potentially move forward. Mistakes that do result in injury do happen obviously. Also understand the doc will hold MPI and there will be a legal team of lawyers and paralegals to dismantle the claim so it is very important to think deeply on the emotional, physical and financial costs of pursuing MP and if it is realistic/rational and worth proceeding. This process is certainly not free holding many unseen costs to all parties involved.
 
I’ve had a complaint against a Doctor which we won. The Doctor told me afterwards she would still do exactly the same again in the same circumstances. In other words the reprimand from their boss meant nothing. They still thought they were in the right.
She was a nasty person. Hopefully retired by now.
Did she get fired and her medical licence suspended or they still let her practice medicine?
 
Still able to practice, but with supervision for a period. Total BS. They should have been fired on the spot.
Exactly 👍 that would also be the case if the doc/surgeon did something that was fatal or serious injury that would have been prevented (even intentionally ). They usually would straight out revoke the medical license and fire the doc on the spot
 
I wrote a book lol.

TL;DR: think deeply about MP. The impact and cost is broad and often hidden. Often there is a better, rational, healing and productive path forward.

Circumstance is everything in regards to MP. Obviously as we have been chatting about this, it runs the gamut from poor choice of words to emotional trauma all the way to death. When my third son was born, my wife tested positive for HIV. This was incredibly traumatic to the entire family. How did this happen? Was my wifes prior surgery that included blood transfusion tainted? Do I have it? This surgery was before any children so do all of our children have HIV? As her husband, my fidelity was questioned in front of her by a series of docs - that was not fun for me. It turned out that my wife was fine (HIV negative) but does suffer from auto immune disease (which we knew already) and threw off the result of the test.

Regardless, my wife and our NB child were held hostage at the hospital for weeks while this was figured out. My new born son was subjected to countless sticks which he does not remember obviously, but my two older sons DID witness this and him screaming at the top of his lungs and my wife with all of the post-partum hormones crying - this scared them and made them cry - emotional trauma out the whazzoo right there.

Why did this happen and why was it not caught earlier? Turns out the OBGYN she was seeing missed this on a blood test report in 2nd trimester. All of that could have been avoided had she read the report correctly. I know this doc and the others in this womens care practice. She is a fantastic OBNGYN. She worked with my mom who is a retired anesthesiologist for a decade. She is not only competent but excellent at what she does and yes, she made a mistake. A mistake that I could have absolutely sued the shizzle out of her and the hospital and won.

I did not do this. Why? Because we are human and even the best of us makes mistakes. It happens at all levels of service. Unlike Mr.Fanboy, she acknowledged her error and apologized profusely to us. It was genuine. I asked her how she and the team moving forward will ensure this does not happen again (become better from it) and she laid out the discussion that she, the practice and the hospital will have from this at their next morning meeting (they have daily morning meetings to discuss what is going on, has happened, issues, successes and that days book of business). I did not sue them. I probably could have threatened lawsuit and gotten a settlement of 7-10k easily w/o representation. Anyways, as spoken to earlier, I did not do that either. I'm not going to potentially trash a tenured, competent medical professional's career and ability to practice for what effectively is money which is completely unethical to me. Not going to do it.

I have watched others go through MP and despite settlements, it rarely is satisfying or a healing/learning affair for either party - just makes everyone bitter and angry to the world. Having many doctors and medical professionals in my own family and friends of mine, I opted for discussion, concerns and communicated best practices (like posting about my wifes auto-immune / HIV false test reaction in various medical journals and their own amended internal processes to prevent this moving forward) as an amenable solution to our experience. Frankly, I was most upset about my family being held hostage (what it felt like) for over 3 weeks at the hospital (baby was banded with a door alarm ankle bracelet) while the medical figured out what was going on. Truthfully it was a conversation with multiple specialists across multiple teams coast to coast, but were ultimately able to dial in on what happened.

If the medical professional is truly incompetent, MP is a way to hold them accountable to their incompetence and prevent others from falling victim. In this case, this doc and their team as I spoke to earlier are 110% competent - excellent in fact, but human none the less and did make a mistake. My boys are all doing well - We talked it through with them, listened to their concerns and why and talked through it. It was a real learning experience for them in regards to medical care, being human, being brave and understanding. My wife, naturally, was very unhappy about the series of errors that led to the 3+ week hospital staycation while they figured it out and the trauma to our family but the hospital did cover all of that cost and offered therapy for the family which we refused. We were more than capable and ready to help our boys to process emotionally and understand what happened and felt that conversation needed to come from us directly, not a third party. Our little guy is doing fantastic as well. He's a healthy and happy 2y/o. Anyhow, this was such a rare circumstance/event that we understood the why piece and rationale of the duration very well.

Think deeply about MP, its impact, how it intersects with your own morality prior to moving forward or not. Often, there is a more rational, serving and healing path forward.
 
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I wrote a book lol.

TL;DR: think deeply about MP. The impact and cost is broad and often hidden. Often there is a better, rational, healing and productive path forward.

Circumstance is everything in regards to MP. Obviously as we have been chatting about this, it runs the gamut from poor choice of words to emotional trauma all the way to death. When my third son was born, my wife tested positive for HIV. This was incredibly traumatic to the entire family. How did this happen? Was my wifes prior surgery that included blood transfusion tainted? Do I have it? This surgery was before any children so do all of our children have HIV? As her husband, my fidelity was questioned in front of her by a series of docs - that was not fun for me. It turned out that my wife was fine (HIV negative) but does suffer from auto immune disease (which we knew already) and threw off the result of the test.

Regardless, my wife and our NB child were held hostage at the hospital for weeks while this was figured out. My new born son was subjected to countless sticks which he does not remember obviously, but my two older sons DID witness this and him screaming at the top of his lungs and my wife with all of the post-partum hormones crying - this scared them and made them cry - emotional trauma out the whazzoo right there.

Why did this happen and why was it not caught earlier? Turns out the OBGYN she was seeing missed this on a blood test report in 2nd trimester. All of that could have been avoided had she read the report correctly. I know this doc and the others in this womens care practice. She is a fantastic OBNGYN. She worked with my mom who is a retired anesthesiologist for a decade. She is not only competent but excellent at what she does and yes, she made a mistake. A mistake that I could have absolutely sued the shizzle out of her and the hospital and won.

I did not do this. Why? Because we are human and even the best of us makes mistakes. It happens at all levels of service. Unlike Mr.Fanboy, she acknowledged her error and apologized profusely to us. It was genuine. I asked her how she and the team moving forward will ensure this does not happen again (become better from it) and she laid out the discussion that she, the practice and the hospital will have from this at their next morning meeting (they have daily morning meetings to discuss what is going on, has happened, issues, successes and that days book of business). I did not sue them. I probably could have threatened lawsuit and gotten a settlement of 7-10k easily w/o representation. Anyways, as spoken to earlier, I did not do that either. I'm not going to potentially trash a tenured, competent medical professional's career and ability to practice for what effectively is money which is completely unethical to me. Not going to do it.

I have watched others go through MP and despite settlements, it rarely is satisfying or a healing/learning affair for either party - just makes everyone bitter and angry to the world. Having many doctors and medical professionals in my own family and friends of mine, I opted for discussion, concerns and communicated best practices (like posting about my wifes auto-immune / HIV false test reaction in various medical journals and their own amended internal processes to prevent this moving forward) as an amenable solution to our experience. Frankly, I was most upset about my family being held hostage (what it felt like) for over 3 weeks at the hospital (baby was banded with a door alarm ankle bracelet) while the medical figured out what was going on. Truthfully it was a conversation with multiple specialists across multiple teams coast to coast, but were ultimately able to dial in on what happened.

If the medical professional is truly incompetent, MP is a way to hold them accountable to their incompetence and prevent others from falling victim. In this case, this doc and their team as I spoke to earlier are 110% competent - excellent in fact, but human none the less and did make a mistake. My boys are all doing well - We talked it through with them, listened to their concerns and why and talked through it. It was a real learning experience for them in regards to medical care, being human, being brave and understanding. My wife, naturally, was very unhappy about the series of errors that led to the 3+ week hospital staycation while they figured it out and the trauma to our family but the hospital did cover all of that cost and offered therapy for the family which we refused. We were more than capable and ready to help our boys to process emotionally and understand what happened and felt that conversation needed to come from us directly, not a third party. Our little guy is doing fantastic as well. He's a healthy and happy 2y/o. Anyhow, this was such a rare circumstance/event that we understood the why piece and rationale of the duration very well.

Think deeply about MP, its impact, how it intersects with your own morality prior to moving forward or not. Often, there is a more rational, serving and healing path forward.
We had three months in the hospital. My wife and daughter never recovered tbh. All because of this useless Doctor. Our 9 year old was separated from us and exposed to things she really didn’t need to know about at that age. Still angry about it if I think about it. That was 14 years ago now.
 
A lot of people treat doctors like gods or a lot use to. I never have. Not saying none are really good at their job because there is plenty that are.

Not old enough to even know or remember though some may be. Remember when hearing about when you use to be able to get a actual doctor house call, I know you all already know what I mean but just in case, where a actual doctor comes to your house. Know that is not really ever happening anymore.
 
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