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- Thread starter Gutwrench
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I've been renting a room for a couple of years from a couple who are 80 and 77 years old. It's been uneven, as they lose their memories, lose track of days and weeks, and can't remember words.
Last night, after walking home from work 2.25 miles, the gentleman said something about my walk and how my mother should be walking, but he meant his wife.
This morning, he was upset with me because I didn't remind him to take push the rubbish and recycling bins at the kerb. I was just happy to make it to the door.
I heard them arguing this morning, neither one quite right, but both knowing something about a situation. It's tough being old. I don't want to be like them, but I suspect my mind is faltering more than it should. I need to read more than forum posts and do something more than eat, sleep, and work.
Last night, after walking home from work 2.25 miles, the gentleman said something about my walk and how my mother should be walking, but he meant his wife.
This morning, he was upset with me because I didn't remind him to take push the rubbish and recycling bins at the kerb. I was just happy to make it to the door.
I heard them arguing this morning, neither one quite right, but both knowing something about a situation. It's tough being old. I don't want to be like them, but I suspect my mind is faltering more than it should. I need to read more than forum posts and do something more than eat, sleep, and work.
My sympathies on your worries.
However, in truth, while it is (or, rather, can be) tough being old, - and it need not be - I've known, met and worked with some incredibly sharp, intellectually gifted, and better still, wise and composed - older folk, who were a pure pleasure to know - I was one of those who found it tough being young, and hated it.
One's memory may work less well, but one's judgment tends to be better, as one ages, in my experience.
I'm much more comfortable in myself and in my skin now, even if the boundless and bottomless energy of youth is now a sporadic visitor, rather a permanent state of being.
Actually, I would trade - cheerfully trade - my occasionally stiff knees and aching back and reduced energy - any day, every day - for the sheer alienated awkwardness of adolescence and my early twenties which is something I look back on with a mixture of retrospective pity and appalled horror.
In any case, I loathed my adolescence, while every decade since then has been (almost exponentially) better, especially if one excludes personal tragedies such as the respective deaths of each of my parents.
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I jokingly said to an older customer "Once you hit 21, it's all downhill." and there was another customer in the line and she said "I know what you mean. I'm 25." and we looked at each other and almost burst out laughing.
I miss 25-35 years old to be certain. I was innovating and finding solutions to practically anything placed in front of me. Even older than that, I was still researching new ways of handling situations on the computer.
Ten years ago, I was photographing at skate parks, editing photos, mostly where I was, and later, editing video.
Now, I just work a job that requires a minimal mental capacity. Where are the challenges? Challenges are for the young. 😆
I feel the exact opposite; if it was "downhill from 21" (or 25), I'm not sure I would have wished to have been around after that.
I loathed my teens and early twenties, and had no idea how to appreciate - or, even be, let alone enjoy - being young, and felt awkward and alienated much of the time.
Actually, I have always felt as though I was born middle-aged.
It is a lot easier to be a bright, intellectual, what is now defined as "nerdy", middle aged (professional) woman, than it was to have been a bright, intellectual, nerdy female teenager.
Actually, in my experience, many (if not most) of those who mourn the passing of a lost (or past) youth, tend to be male.
Women (unless their appearance mattered more to them than anything else, and determined their lives both personally and professionally) tend to have a much more nuanced view of such matters.
I liked those years, but 35-45 was even better, while 45-55 was better again.
And why can't you still innovate and find solutions?
My mum was in her 40s when she went to university (at night) to study for a degree, with three kids, a husband and a job, and loved it.
She always said that her fifties were her best decade, and professionally, that is when she reached her peak.
Sounds interesting.
Why not change that?
You need to find them, and work out what challenges you, what interests you, what fascinates you, and try to find a way into that world (personally and professionally).
No, they're not.
And, they don't have to be.
Some of my best and most interesting challenges - working in a senior capacity as a political analyst with the EU - occurred in my 40s and 50s.
Re mental atrophy, and ageing, I suspect that a surprising number of individuals spend their lives online, rather than challenging themselves mentally, such as learning new skills, new languages, reading widely, or stretching their mind regularly: For example, my mother took up bridge, - just to do something new during the winter months, she played golf in summer - travelled widely, and, later, did crosswords daily until dementia struck in her 80s.
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Okay: This evening (and tomorrow) are looking good.
Bread has been ordered at the French bakery, - they will put it aside for me - and transport has been arranged.
Two of the best (organic) stalls, stalls have just recently returned to the farmers' market, and both have texted me to confirm that they will keep eggs (free range, organic, etc), and blood oranges for me; other stuff, (spinach, chard, leeks), I will buy when I put in an appearance there.
Bread has been ordered at the French bakery, - they will put it aside for me - and transport has been arranged.
Two of the best (organic) stalls, stalls have just recently returned to the farmers' market, and both have texted me to confirm that they will keep eggs (free range, organic, etc), and blood oranges for me; other stuff, (spinach, chard, leeks), I will buy when I put in an appearance there.
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Well, I am back from the farmers' market.
Some of the best stalls have just returned (their first time back since Christmas), but the amount of produce that they have on offer, or for sale, is still fairly limited. It is still too early in the season for us to see much by way of spring growth.
While we are all aware of the current cost of living crisis, the olive oil stall told me - confirmed to me - that olive oil has doubled in price over the past year, (making the case that climate change is clearly one of the major reasons for this), thus, I decided to forego adding to my already ample - and, to be quite candid, more than adequate for the moment - supply of olive oil.
Anyway, I bought olives (green Moroccan olives, black Moroccan olives, and anchovy stuffed olives), and wild garlic pesto (ramsons - wild garlic - is/are now in season).
Other purchases included free range, organic eggs, from the best stall, newly returned; they have their own hens.
Leeks, onions, carrots, celery, spinach, chard, were all purchased, as were aubergines (eggplant), courgette (zucchini), chilli peppers, and several bulbs of new garlic, along with chives.
Herbs included parsley, thyme and rosemary.
Blood oranges and ordinary oranges were also bought.
As was cheese, (Gorgonzola, Forme d'Ambert, extra mature Gouda which was a lovely, splendid, burnt orange colour, and an explosive caramel taste, young Gouda with fenugeek, oozing Camembert Rustique, some ripe St Nectaire, a small slice of young Morbier, and some gloriously creamy Stilton), and chicken thighs (skin and bone attached, free range, environmentally aware, organic, etc) plus French bread in the French bakery.
And earlier, I purchased Jersey milk (rather, milk from Jersey cows) and double cream, both from M&S.
Now, for some coffee, some freshly squeezed orange juice, and some lovely French sourdough bread.
Some of the best stalls have just returned (their first time back since Christmas), but the amount of produce that they have on offer, or for sale, is still fairly limited. It is still too early in the season for us to see much by way of spring growth.
While we are all aware of the current cost of living crisis, the olive oil stall told me - confirmed to me - that olive oil has doubled in price over the past year, (making the case that climate change is clearly one of the major reasons for this), thus, I decided to forego adding to my already ample - and, to be quite candid, more than adequate for the moment - supply of olive oil.
Anyway, I bought olives (green Moroccan olives, black Moroccan olives, and anchovy stuffed olives), and wild garlic pesto (ramsons - wild garlic - is/are now in season).
Other purchases included free range, organic eggs, from the best stall, newly returned; they have their own hens.
Leeks, onions, carrots, celery, spinach, chard, were all purchased, as were aubergines (eggplant), courgette (zucchini), chilli peppers, and several bulbs of new garlic, along with chives.
Herbs included parsley, thyme and rosemary.
Blood oranges and ordinary oranges were also bought.
As was cheese, (Gorgonzola, Forme d'Ambert, extra mature Gouda which was a lovely, splendid, burnt orange colour, and an explosive caramel taste, young Gouda with fenugeek, oozing Camembert Rustique, some ripe St Nectaire, a small slice of young Morbier, and some gloriously creamy Stilton), and chicken thighs (skin and bone attached, free range, environmentally aware, organic, etc) plus French bread in the French bakery.
And earlier, I purchased Jersey milk (rather, milk from Jersey cows) and double cream, both from M&S.
Now, for some coffee, some freshly squeezed orange juice, and some lovely French sourdough bread.
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Enjoyed a long chat for the best part of two hours with good friends from Bristol.
It rained so much yesterday that I'm glad I wasn't scheduled for work. Today, I'll be there and I'll need to stop at another store afterward to pick up a few things. Hopefully, people will be in a good mood today. This week is a difficult week for retail. It should be interesting.
I hope all of you are having a good day.
I hope all of you are having a good day.
Pouring here (and it has been pouring all day).
Perfect for reading, browsing, and sipping coffee.
Hope you are having a good day, and that the coming week treats you well and finds you well.
No rain here at all today. But we’ve had more than enough recently.
Did some gardening. My neck is not my friend now.
Will head off to the study to start work for the week shortly.
Did some gardening. My neck is not my friend now.
Will head off to the study to start work for the week shortly.
Indeed.
That sounds like my mother in her good days.
My sympathies.
I would give a lot for a good back and shoulder massage today.
Good luck.
Hey, y'all! Haven't logged in here for at least two weeks—I have some catching up to do for sure! I'm doing well, but things just got super busy at the end of the term, then I was in Scandinavia for spring break, and now I'm finally "home" (well, back at the dorm). I was only using my phone for the past two weeks (I didn't bring a computer), and I swear I almost forgot how to type on a regular keyboard lol. It took like seven tries to put my Mac password in.
I've been struggling with the saaaaaame thing...
It's strange, it really is. In early elementary school (1st-3rd grade, so like 6-9 years old), I felt fine in the environment I was in. In college, I feel fine in the environment, but there are some things left to be desired—mainly friendships. Though I can say overall, it's fine. You notice how I didn't mention ANY of the time in between? Because that was the worst part for me. I think we share that, based on what you're describing.
Now, about feeling awkward and alienated—I don't so much anymore, but when I was 10-15 years old, I absolutely did. That's what made those years particularly awful, even in music settings where I was most comfortable. Naturally, this meant my mental health took a steep decline, because of that. Along with other factors (my physical health wasn't good at the time either), but that was for sure part of it. Really, it wasn't until the pandemic that stuff started to improve.
I also had a pretty bad stutter when I was younger... still do a little bit, actually. That probably made things weird, too. Dunno if that's part of the equation or not, but it might have been an influence. It certainly influenced who I was able to talk to, though. But it wasn't until I was MUCH older... like even just a couple years ago... that I actually started to feel like a person my age.
So yes, I absolutely share this feeling.
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It's interesting this topic came up on this thread, cause I had a major realization a few days ago... which is that in my experience, any friend I make is EXCLUSIVELY because of, and the friendship is entirely based on, music. I think my life would be a whole lot more fulfilling if I had friendships based on other things (idk what those are, just something else). I see many people whose friends aren't on their sports teams, aren't in their music ensembles, etc., and it looks so nice. I've just been way too shy to try and change that. I don't know if I don't want to change it, or if I simply can't - it's hard to tell.
This came to mind because I noticed there's a certain quality to a lot of other performers besides myself, and for the longest time, I had trouble pinpointing exactly what that was. They express it clearly on stage though. I discovered through talking to my dad about it, that it's actually the fact that they feel comfortable in normal social situations, and I don't. That's it. Anyway, just as we're talking about this, I figured I'd mention it. idk if it's something I really can fix, that'll just take time to figure out.
EDIT: Forgot to mention this other part. Through this, I've discovered that basically my whole life - and I didn't realize it till just a few days ago - I've felt like "the guy at the end of the table," with nothing to contribute, who doesn't understand anything, and who chooses to sit alone because of this (yes, this is true). It certainly didn't feel good to come to this realization, but it was bound to happen at some point. So, using that metaphor, I look to NOT being "the guy at the end of the table" anymore.
This came to mind because I noticed there's a certain quality to a lot of other performers besides myself, and for the longest time, I had trouble pinpointing exactly what that was. They express it clearly on stage though. I discovered through talking to my dad about it, that it's actually the fact that they feel comfortable in normal social situations, and I don't. That's it. Anyway, just as we're talking about this, I figured I'd mention it. idk if it's something I really can fix, that'll just take time to figure out.
EDIT: Forgot to mention this other part. Through this, I've discovered that basically my whole life - and I didn't realize it till just a few days ago - I've felt like "the guy at the end of the table," with nothing to contribute, who doesn't understand anything, and who chooses to sit alone because of this (yes, this is true). It certainly didn't feel good to come to this realization, but it was bound to happen at some point. So, using that metaphor, I look to NOT being "the guy at the end of the table" anymore.
Several days ago when I was at the grocery store, the cashier complained because I didn't complain about not finding everything I was looking for.
I told him that if I'd complained, store policy would have obligated him to ask if I wanted him to "check in the back" to see if they had whatever it was....and then we agreed that would be a waste of time for everyone since if they actually have the item, it would be out on the shelves and not sitting in some box in the back room.
um....it's still March so it's not supposed to be Spring where you are!
Friends in Minneapolis tell me it's been the warmest winters they can remember. Usually they get a last snow storm sometime around April 7 to 10th, so keep your hat and gloves handy for a bit longer
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There is a point where store workers must resign themselves to only doing the possible.
I've found some customers to be anything but reasonable. So many people leave their wallets or their bank cards in the car that I just can't believe that they're so very careless with their own money. I wonder some days if people actually had parents or parental supervision. I wonder many days if I'm in hell.
I hope you find the product you need. I hope that I find the rest I need.
I remember snow on June 24th in Indiana. The temperature dropped 30 degrees and it started to snow.
Same in Wi. I have three big stone carvings to finish by the 29th and it's cold and snowy now.
Frostbite tomorrow means fingers will still be black & held on by bits of tape at the exhibit opening.
Frostbite tomorrow means fingers will still be black & held on by bits of tape at the exhibit opening.
That's where I'm at right now, in Wisconsin. Been raining a lot recently. I grew up in the southwest though, where by this point it'd be in the 70s.
Actually a bit chilly here today (58, but a bit warmer in the valley). Flag got a foot of snow Sunday night.
After one winter in the desert, not ever going back to places it is cold.
I miss my Florida weather. 60s-80s during a 24 hour period now. It still feels too much like winter in Northern California but thank goodness, I don't live near the ocean. It always feels much colder there. I would want an extra shirt or a jacket in the middle of summer.