First off, don't package up and let sit a $1500 machine!
Programming is not easy, and the most difficult part is understanding and appreciating the fundamentals of computer programming (such as variables, data types, design patterns, etc) that all languages have. Don't believe any course that says learn programming in 30 days. I don't mean to say this as a way to put you off to it, but once you accept that diving into programming with no related experience is a difficult task and will take time, you won't beat yourself up so much about not having it click right away.
15+ years ago I set out to teach myself C on the Mac with zero background or experience in a related field.. didn't understand it at all and set aside the book (Learn C on the Macintosh) I bought. A few months later I decided to pick it up and try again, and this time it all just seemed to click and went from there. I'm 100% self-taught and have had a career in software development (now a Technical Lead for a software development shop, spent a few years developing, selling and supporting my own macOS software), and trust me if I can do it anyone can.
edit: also while some will not agree with this, you may want to look into Xojo (
https://www.xojo.com)
, its a full IDE with its own language and builds desktop macOS
, Windows and Linux applications as well as iOS and Web 2.0, and can be a good way to learn and grasp the basics and get up and running quickly. It is not free but without a license you can still code and run locally your project, so no need to buy one until you have something ready you want to distribute. They have a lot of free video and tutorials to get up and running for complete beginners.