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Well, the scale says the XS Max is the heaviest phone Apple has ever released. Logically your statement is not true simply because of steel vs aluminum.
I was going by feel, seeing how I have both devices. Hard to tell the new phone is a few grams heavier in real life (to me). I forgot this is a tech site at the time and a few grams spec is more important to drive home, than asking others for real life feel use.

The difference between the iPhone 7 Plus and the iPhone XS Max is 20 grams (0.044 pounds) Not very much at all, in my opinion. I don't see how some are aghast that some others don't feel the "huge" weight difference from the spec sheet.
 
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