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86 year old dad, remote connect to his MacBook Air

Connect both devices to a VPN, like Tailscale (free/easy) then connect to remote machine using macOS built-in app called Screen Sharing (a VNC client).

Connect to VPN on both machines - I use free VPN app Tailscale, which I heard about on a forum here and think it's the best. Both devices need the tailscale app installed and signed in to a google account, and you may need to login to Tailscale after each machine restart. Tailscale is easy, free, works using built-in screen sharing app.

Enable screen sharing on host machine (the one you want to connect to): host macOS machine also needs VNC turned on, which is under System Preferences > Sharing > Screen Sharing (or remote management, which has additional functionality above VNC).

Connect to host using macOS Screen Sharing app (or another VNC Client): Once both machine are signed in to the Tailscale VPN, use built-in macOS Screen Sharing app (located in /System/Library/CoreServices/Applications) to connect to a remote machine, using host machine's VPN IP address listed in the Tailscale menu on both computers.

Connect to host using iPad/iPhone VNC Client app - I'm not sure if there are any decent VNC client apps on iOS today, however years ago I downloaded iTeleport and can still access it as a download, it's good.

Connecting the first time requires extra steps, after that just use the last step. Free and easy. Cheers.
 
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an-other said:
I use Apple Remote Desktop across networks. All you need is an ip address of the machine. You cannot manage multiple computers behind a router, but you can do one.
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I'd love to see how you do that without using Back to My Mac/NAT/VPN. On top of that, it's an $80 app.
 
mtbdudex said:
My father is 86 years old, he still uses his MacBook Air daily, however he’s aging, and it’s me his 60 year old son as his IT tech support person.
I’m about an hour and a half away so it really is inconvenient for me to drive there, so I need a remote access solution to real time help him, doing it over FaceTime is tough!
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There are times I need to do stuff, help him access time machine remotely and retrieve a file that he threw away or over wrote etc.

There are a lot of remote desktop connection apps, which one should I choose in use for this task. Thank you for your help.

Mike Rosinski

As shown a search in the App Store shows these, however I am open to your suggestions of course.
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My Dad is 80 and lives 250 miles away from me, his only IT support. He uses my old MacBook Pro. We use AnyDesk. It’s free for occasional personal use. You can even do remote support with it on your iPhone. It’s really quick and easy to set up.
 
Take a look at AnyDesk. I’ve used it for the past couple years with success. I don’t recall if there’s a way to auto start, but you could dock the app so he can easily find it when he needs support.
 
silber said:
Take a look at AnyDesk. I’ve used it for the past couple years with success. I don’t recall if there’s a way to auto start, but you could dock the app so he can easily find it when he needs support.
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It auto starts forcefully without any way to disable auto start except for using a Terminal command. So it will definitely auto start. AnyDesk works well I use to help others all the time. You can set unattended access with it so the other person doesn't need to accept the screen share, but that's a bit invasive for some.
 
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I am 68 years old. My 92 year old mother has a Mac Book Air, iPod and an iPhone. I help as much as I can over the phone then tell her to call 1-800 My APPLE.
 
Another vote for TeamViewer here. I use it to support my 89 year old dad and his iMac, along with my in-laws, both in different states from me. The big advantage is performance (over regular internet connections, it's like I'm sitting in front of their computer with minimal lag), plus I have it configured so none of them need to do anything to "accept" a connection. I can take over their computer at any point, even at the login screen if needed.

The only caveat is that TeamViewer is designed for corporate IT departments and takes some effort and knowledge to configure. But once you get there, it's rock solid.
 
I have a 84y/o grandfather, and I did remote connect to him with iMessage on Mac. Works great with every Mac and your dad only needs to accept the invite. 10/10 would recommend.
 
Why are you all overcomplicating things? Open Messages on your Mac, click on his name, click Conversions -> Ask to Share Screen.

He'll get a pop-up and can share his screen for you. Done.
 
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I'm very happy to learn about all these options. I have a 94 year old friend who's still very sharp (in fact, a Macarthur award winner), but does tend to get bogged down on his iMac. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I've been at a loss, beyond sending screenshots. I was aware that there were other possibilities out there, but given that this happens only 3 or 4 times a year, I didn't bother exploring -- you folks did it for me. Thanks again.
 
I have a similar situation, not only with my father-in-law but also a couple of my siblings. The built-in screen sharing works perfectly for me for the support that I'm able to give them. It is simple to set up and use and I've been able to do this regardless of where I have been located in the world.
 
Yet another vote for Teamviewer. I use it to connect to the MBA of my mother, 87 years old. Works great!

But as mentioned above, the Teamviewer versions (and therefore the macOSes) of the connected devices should not be too much apart.
 
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Why are you all overcomplicating things? Open Messages on your Mac, click on his name, click Conversions -> Ask to Share Screen.

He'll get a pop-up and can share his screen for you. Done.
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There's nothing wrong with this option and it's a good one. But there are caveats:

1. Apple's solution has far higher bandwidth requirements than some of the other solutions listed here. Depending on everyone's connectivity in your chain, that may not matter. But when you're helping someone remotely via a janky cellular link, it's helpful to use a solution that can adjust on the fly.

2. It requires interaction on the receiving end. As someone who's done IT support professionally, this is often a kiss of death to getting access to a remote computer. People in the midst of an intractable problem (especially one of their own creation) can have a hard time following even the simplest instructions. The OP, and many of us, support senior citizens who may be remarkably proficient, but can still be more prone than the average user to get their computer in a state where asking them to "approve" a connection is not going to work and will be a barrier to helping them. Plus, solutions like TeamViewer can be configured to allow "first light" control, like at a login screen, or even earlier in the boot process.

3. Some solutions allow other functions, capabilities, and services to be run, like forced updates, file transfers, system profiling, and more. True, these may be "once in a very long while" needs, but it's nice to have the tools available.

I agree with your broader point: Try the simple solutions first, especially the built-in ones. But there's a reason why there are so many different options for a process like this. "One size fits all" rarely nets the best solution.
 
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cateye said:
There's nothing wrong with this option and it's a good one. But there are caveats:

...
2. It requires interaction on the receiving end. As someone who's done IT support professionally, this is often a kiss of death to getting access to a remote computer.
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True, but so will every other option. Apple has really ratcheted down what can record the screen since Mojave. Permissions will need to be enabled for any of these options.
 
iObama said:
True, but so will every other option. Apple has really ratcheted down what can record the screen since Mojave. Permissions will need to be enabled for any of these options.
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Re-read my post. Several other options can be configured to not require interaction on the receiving end, including controlling MacOS during the boot process. Yes, this needs to be configured ahead of time so as to be kosher within Apple's security sandbox and won't work if you're helping someone remotely for the first time without physical access to their machine. But once configured (at least with TeamViewer) it never needs to be touched again.
 
cateye said:
Re-read my post. Several other options can be configured to not require interaction on the receiving end, including controlling MacOS during the boot process. Yes, this needs to be configured ahead of time so as to be kosher within Apple's security sandbox and won't work if you're helping someone remotely for the first time without physical access to their machine. But once configured (at least with TeamViewer) it never needs to be touched again.
Click to expand...

Ah, you're correct! Misunderstood.
 
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Hi all, this is a great thread and good advice for macOS. I wonder have folks had any luck with remote management of an iOS device? I know that facetime now has screen sharing, but is there a way to manage those devices similar to what is described for macOS above?
 
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