Thanks for this. Yes I can imagine how it seems, all a bit difficult. But let me try and explain. We have had carers come everyday for a long time now, they are a good company, with a good boss, and all the lady carers that come are very good and I am perfectly happy with them. I have their number, and each day I tell them everything I can to keep them updated, it all get''s logged into the book. They are also my point of contact with social services too, but please understand that the social services are also under lots of demand and pressure.
I keep not just our daily carers but also our boss lady carer up to date in detail very regularly. There are times when they are needed for personal care, for example as mum sits a lot, she can get sores, and struggles to wash in our adapted shower room because of her breathing, they help her wash, when mum will accept this, and help her with personal care that I can't do.
However, at the moment, there is little more they can do practically. They won't get mum to drink more, or eat more, they have tried, she ignores them too. I can do all that. I give mum her inhaler as she needs it. I can give her her medication. Trust me I want what is best for mum, I have our care companies phone number and if I needed them more I would be in contact with them right away, but it's a question of how practical that is right now. Even if I said to the boss lady carer, she would likely say they are not needed more just yet.
If mum gets into a respiratory crisis, I can call the ambulance. The carers can't do anymore. I have been in touch with the mobility nurses that are local, they have tried to help, but every aid they have given mum, walking frame, walking stick, toilet aid. Mum has refused. I have been in contact with the GP, and she has regular check ups with the respiratory team, in fact she has a respiratory review later today. I have also recently informed the GP practise that she has declined recently quite a bit, they are referring her to the memory clinic, but unfortunately there is a wait for this. The doctors know the situation very well, and so do our carers and I will always listen to their advice.
At this point no one can practically do anymore, and if I were to ask our boss carer, I expect she would agree. All the services are under great pressure, as mum's son, and living in our property, it's largely my responsibility to care for mum.
If our carer thought she needed more care, I would do as they say. If they thought she needed to be in a nursing home, I would listen. There is nothing more right now they could practically do.
They don't recommend putting people into nursing homes unless it's really very bad, and I know very well that mum would hate this, and I expect that if she were to go into a home, she would give up and not have long left. But of course if it becomes the right thing to do, we will do it.
There is nothing more the carers can do at this point, I keep an eye on her all day. She mostly sits and watches films. I can't force her to drink and eat, and I try all day to encourage her.
Our man that visited yesterday, Oliver, is going to order mum a hospital bed, which she will find more comfortable as it will move up and down so she can be propped up while lying in it, which will help with her breathing problems, but of course there will be a wait for that.
At any point, if I felt mum needed more help I would get it. I have called 111 several times recently for advice. We can't do much more at this point.
